The best videos of ICE agents eating shit in the brutal Minneapolis winter

Why are they befuddled? Are any of them seriously not aware that this is normal for him?

Stop writing real headlines, The Onion

All 6 Branches Of Armed Forces Present At Arrest Of Undocumented Nanny https://theonion.com/all-6-branches-of-armed-forces-present-at-arrest-of-undocumented-nanny/

I have never been so happy for a TACO moment.

Pioneering Female Archaeologist In Google Doodle Bears Silent Witness To Man’s Search For ‘Zootopia’ Porn https://theonion.com/pioneering-female-archaeologist-in-google-doodle-bears-silent-witness-to-mans-search-for-zootopia-porn/

Being a good American means being a good consumer and leaving feedback for companies

Reposting for reach, help if you can!

🐈 Gerry the cat 🛒 Aubuchon Hardware (Lincoln, ME)

Clocking in. 📸 Regina the Receptionist

OK, valid discovery, but there's no expectation of privacy for any of this, so frankly I'm not sure Carlsberg has to even care if the system can be brute-forced.

This is Kevin. He's a reactive dog getting some training to be more comfortable. His trainer brought him to a pet store for some socialization where they learned he is no longer reactive when given a giant stuffed dinosaur. 14/10 (TT: katieandtatesfostermates)

Elon Musk Files For Full Custody Of All U.S. Children https://theonion.com/elon-musk-files-for-full-custody-of-all-u-s-children/

This is Rufus. He cleverly escaped the shelter to run home after being picked up by animal control as a presumed stray. 14/10 a hound Houdini (IG: huntington_cw_animalshelter)

*First Nations enters chat* "who was here first?"

Study: Some Gifted Dogs Can Pick Up New Words By Eavesdropping https://theonion.com/study-some-gifted-dogs-can-pick-up-new-words-by-eavesdropping/

He'll just declare them all terrorist groups and have them rounded up.

PHRASING!

Oh, it’ll be firm

Trump’s Military Spending By The Numbers

News Flash: HE DOESN'T CARE

Me, reading the latest news: youtu.be/TQXuazYI_YU?...

Conservatives Say Renée Good Was Brainwashed By Bible Into Loving Thy Neighbor https://theonion.com/conservatives-say-renee-good-was-brainwashed-by-bible-into-loving-thy-neighbor/

OK. So who do we like as a knowledgeable, sane expert on the Insurrection Act?

So, that whole press conference on how the American healthcare system was collapsing under the weight of substance abuse was... just bullshit? Yeah, thought so.

I mean, they refuse to accept the evidence of 15 OTHER cameras that recorded the event, but sure, whatever.

Oh that’s just rude

Everyone who believes they won't monetize the data please stand on your head for an hour or so.

Note: "Americans continue to see out medical care at high levels." So, even if millions of (totally imaginary, btw) illegal immigrants were removed from the equation, US healthcare is still screwed.

Verizon Mobile fall down, go boom.

You're all going to fail the worst phishing test www.nytimes.com/2022/11/12/u...

And Space Karen has already started spam-reposting every single inflammatory and/or outright racist post he can in order to deflect user attention from this story.

They voted for this, even with all the available information that this was precisely what was going to happen. I find it hard to find sympathy for anyone but their employees, who are getting hit hardest due to their short-sightedness in electing this Fetid Moppet.

When self-employed software engineer Nick Benson put out the call for dashcams online, he thought he’d get maybe 10 people to donate. More than 500 have shown up on his front porch. Here's how one guy crowdsourced 500+ dashcams for Minneapolis to film ICE www.404media.co/how-one-guy-...

This is Minnow. She is thrilled her human has taken an interest in one of her favorite hobbies. Their form could use some work, but not bad for a beginner. 13/10 (TT: aly_minnow_koda_mufasa)

Ah yes, a QR code instead of a real badge with a number so that when I've held my phone to the agent I can be body slammed *and* Rick Rolled. Genius.

Eurail passengers taken for a ride as data breach spills passports, bank details

Of all the conversations that never happened, this one never happened the most.

She needs help unloading these tins (and maybe sampling some). Thank you. 📸 indy cat store

These are the same producers who say Venezuela is "not investable." We've borked up Venezuela so badly that IRAN looks better by comparison.

Popehat Signal: looking for NY attorney familiar with revenge porn laws to give some pro bono advice to a victim menaced by someone in NY.

Saddle up, we're about to see Rick Scott bend over backwards so far that he's going to prove he no longer has a spine.

This is Daisy. She understands that you want her to sit. But alas, she must zoom. 12/10 (TT: daisythegoldengirll)

Trump Supporter Has Few Backup Scapegoats Ready To Go In Case Crackdown On Immigrants Doesn’t Fix Everything https://theonion.com/trump-supporter-has-few-backup-scapegoats-ready-to-go-i-1819579570/