I can think of someone else dying to do this, and his name rhymes with Trump.

mass layoffs at Pixar despite Toy Story 5 about to cross $1 billion at the box office. there is simply no amount of money that will make corporations happy enough to not upend people’s lives.

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Hi friends, I had a project delayed, so I'm available! I've written dozens of books and have done some TV development work. Open to project-based or part-time opportunities. Ideally remote, but can commute to LA in a pinch. Ping me: forms.gle/HN7KA2ERphiE... or my agent (Joanna @ Ultra Literary)

I guarantee you I could walk into an Olive Garden and stuff myself silly with unlimited pasta* without ever showing an ID to anyone. This is a stupid talking point made by stupid people for stupid people. *I would not stuff myself silly with Olive Garden pasta. There are better options.

“There may be “good apples” who support democracy and redistribution and regulation and the rule of law—or who can at least make peace with those things. But the class has become over-mighty to a point where it needs to be disempowered as a class, and in ways 𝓑𝓻𝓲𝓪𝓷 𝓑𝓮𝓾𝓽𝓵𝓮𝓻 1/2

I am surprised he says he’s not concerned about the amount of errors. It’s bad fundamental baseball. Any manager should be concerned about that.

The O’s didn’t deserve to win that game, but it still hurt. So close to tying it up, maybe even taking the lead if that line drive got through.

Four errors in one game is unacceptable. It’s like the Orioles are trying to snap their win streak. One thing is for sure: with this sloppy play, Earl Weaver is spinning in his grave.

If I owned a big lettuce company, I simply would do everything I could to make sure it didn’t give people the shits. But that’s just me, and I don’t own a lettuce company of any size.

Trump will fix this. Somebody get the president a sharpie, stat!

THAT IS NOT HOW THE AMERICAN JUSTICE SYSTEM IS SUPPOSED TO WORK! THE PENALTY FOR “FAILURE TO COMPLY” IS NOT A FUCKING DEATH SENTENCE!

Great news. Probably will also elicit a tantrum from Trump and his minions about activist judges protecting liberal media. Anything that upsets them: also great news.

I maintain that making the Marvel Cinematic Universe as dependent on continuity as the comics they are derived from was a mistake, and this trailer is so inside baseball that unless you have 26 years of Marvel movie history in your head—and heaven help me, I do—it won’t make any sense. 1/2

Chump can’t stand it when it’s not about him.

Seven wins in a row now for the Orioles, who are finding a way to win despite not hitting particularly well and committing two more errors today. Dare I say the eye of Baseball Sauron is at long last looking elsewhere?

Orioles on the small screen, World Cup final on the large screen. And still have the F1 race to watch. Sports.

Working on Hazel Graves 4! This publishes in May 2027 with Avon/Harper. It's Frankenstein x The First Wives Club with weird Widow's Bay vibes. Here's what to expect:

4 runs on 5 hits in 11 innings with 2 errors and still win? Good job, Orioles. That feels like the baseball gods finally putting their wrath elsewhere.

My daughter is one of those people. She bought a little Sony Cybercam that predates her by a couple of years, because she liked the lo-fi aesthetic of the images.

I have a rage reaction to “Let’s do this.” I watched a terrible movie the other night where it was said three times by three different characters in thirty seconds. Almost turned it off. Should have! If anyone can guess the movie, you’ll have my undying admiration.

Pretty good sky tonight:

Five in a row for the Orioles! That was a nail biter.

This is just stupid from a MAGA senator. And as a California resident who has had to hear Trump saying we don’t clean our forest floors and that’s why we’ve had wildfires, I’m not surprised to hear him say the same about Canada’s fires. Idiots all around.

Speak for yourself, you Nosferatu-looking ghoul

Excited to officially share the cover of my prose fiction debut, INTO THE GREAT, which comes out September 1 and you can pre-order here, which I recommend because publisher L’il Factory is only printing 500 copies: lilfac.com/shop/ws-/pro...

No wonder his teleprompter guy thought trading on insider information was fine. Of course, the White House said that what the teleprompter guy did was unfortunate and disgraceful. But it’s okay when the boss does it.

The documents that Trump released and endorsed clearly validate and detail a massive Russian intelligence service operation to elect Donald Trump of which he and his entourage were aware and in which they knowingly participated. Russiagate is real, we learn.

Have to wonder what the thinking is inside the White House for a shit show like this. Aside from the lying and the comical conspiracy theories, Trump just looks too tired and used up and deteriorating to see anything else but an aging sore loser

Navigating the loop at LAX is a blood sport, especially if you need to get to Terminal 4, on the other side of the international terminal.

In case you missed Trump’s speech

Trump never sounded more like Colbert imitating Trump than he did tonight.

So Trump’s position is that elections under him were the most corrupt in the world, then Biden was elected (by the Communist Party of China) and four years later they all oversaw a fair election that he won

Well then

It’s especially nuts when Trump, his sons, and everyone in the administration are very likely insider trading on information they know is going to move the markets.

Hi, I’m Sam Burrito

This looks fab, and international shipping is 5euros! It is basically calling your name; you know it is.

Excited to officially share the cover of my prose fiction debut, INTO THE GREAT, which comes out September 1 and you can pre-order here, which I recommend because publisher L’il Factory is only printing 500 copies: lilfac.com/shop/ws-/pro...

Wow. Hard to conceive of Marvel Comics not being in New York, but I guess it was inevitable. Truly, the end of an era.

Seizing people’s ill gotten gains is entirely consistent with abolition and I do think it’s a bigger deterrent than the threat of prison. It also arguably accords more with justice as the scale & breadth of corruption-for-thievery taking place is almost unfathomable.

So I guess ICE thugs are murdering people to show Democrats who’s boss? And Democrats are supposed to shut up or they’ll keep murdering? I don’t think Homan thought that through.

“We’re going to terrify the public to soothe my fragile ego.”

Note that nowhere in our statement do we encourage complacency or sitting still. They will act. But you should understand they don’t have the power they want you to think. When they do act, you will be equipped to respond.

They are going to try what they try. But they are not smart people, nor are they coordinated, and a real plan would be five years in the making. Remember what you're dealing with.

I want to get ahead of this speech tomorrow. You are going to hear a lot of cries of the sky falling. Remember: the President of the United States does not control elections. States and localities do, and even if you say "he has the military," there aren't enough in the 48 states to make a dent.

Every single member of this administration thinks our tax dollars are theirs to do with as they please.

Someone should look into whether the TV Defense Secretary has holdings in a testosterone screening and treatment company.

Introducing the newest general in our Armed Forces, retired athlete and Nugenix Total-T manliness spokesman Frank Thomas.