lying down on my back, just caught myself having a vivid fantasy that someone was going to come in and leave slices of avocado on my belly

YES I finally found it *hoists enormous tome onto table* yes *blows dust off* the fabled text detailing all the ways I've ever owned you

want business cards that say "thanks for participating in my dumbass life" & the ink is extremely poisonous & absorbs into the fingertips

I would invite a demon into my mind if it finished my work while I closed my eyes and ate mattar paneer

Reginald the frog

we should have a betting pool re: when ted cruz will have to make an official statement that he's not the zodiac killer. I want march 15th

an ASCII boob in the address field? who knows

Sabrina the frog

writing posture: flat on back, one basil leaf on each nostril

go on, get named by a baby

I'm drinking bud lite lime at the "stoner metal" show I would like to apologize to literally everyone

IT IS NO LONGR POSSIBLE TO LOG OFF GET: dashare.zone

here´s a preview: yesterday I helped drag a guy out of a fountain and into a taxi while my friend threatened to break another guy´s nose

ebay listing for a haunted doll wearing a leopard print harley davidson bikini w/ a half empty 2 liter of pepsi in background of the photo

Absolutely crazy: Researchers wanted to put cameras on teachers to observe the behaviors of preschool students and use the footage to train AI www.404media.co/researchers-...

once again the team meeting has devolved into impassioned yelling about bad fonts we’ve seen on trash cans etc.

THE BUTTON ON MY PANTS JUST UNDID ITSELF AS I WAS BUCKLING A CUPCAKE INTO THE PASSENGER SEAT OF MY CAR

do you guys remember when my enemy james franco read an extremely terrible poem at barack obama's inauguration? it feels like a fever dream

i’m not mad at trump voters who feel scammed i’m not mad a dems who feel like the party isn’t stepping up i’m not mad at dog or tree not mad at all since doctor put cold metal fork down my eye and stir

my optometrist recommended laser eye surgery but I think I'm just going to keep my laser eyes

I'm writing apocalyptic love poems because I'm in apocalyptic love

who's that singer that sounds so much like amy winehouse that I'm crying a lot on my radio all the time

FINALLY - dashare.zone ADMIN

saw a vinyl decal of a silhouetted weiner dog with the word "OBSESSION" down its side, almost crashed my car accidentally then on purpose

scientists peer hopefully thru the 2 way mirror as I find the fridge empty and leave, rub their temples as I return with one block of cheese

the word scream now got a silent b on the end of it. “screamb.” thanks in advance for your anticipated compliance

i don't mind that teens wear nirvana shirts except that for most of my life it was an age-appropriate thing for me to do and now it's not

hello I want to read a graphic novel about the flash where he's not a vigilante he's just a very fast dude who has to eat a lot of cookies

just found jeb bush's natal chart and a psychic talking about how she sold donald trump a lollipop in the early 90s

it is impossible to write a poem with zero dogs in it

i love pornography and my dream is to become a moderator some day

I wish someone would palm feed me a sugar cube every time I finish a poem

in the coming year I hope to meet many people who have no idea what Branson, Missouri is

wow you were all so rude to our king

I'm having a very vague cry that as far as I can tell is about katamari and health insurance

why would i ever search for meaning in life? what if i found it?

just remembered i had a dream that i had to tell my dad that our wifi password is "wakenbake"

I feel like I swallowed a cactus in my sleep

MY TURN - dashare.zone ADMIN

3 second scene from my life: my significant other requests that I touch a sleeping piglet's foot "like I'm going to prom with her"

there used to be a dog that played on the roof of a neighboring house and when I saw it I would say "roof roof" but then it died of cancer

showing james pictures of borzois and watching as his psychic energy dwindles

girl shaped thing

my husband: don’t get emotionally attach— me: I’m emotionally attached to the bird

got real pissed off picturing leo as a baby. he was never a baby and I hope he chokes on his own ponytail during a very complicated accident

how have I never noticed this eleanor-rigby-ass background layer in sisqo's thong song

i just heard a man say "good one" about another man's dog like the dog was a joke and i LOVED it

writing posture: flat on back, one basil leaf on each nostril

I'm currently watching one of those dogs that looks like it's covered in ropes enter a bar. everyone is welcoming it into the bar