NEW MUSIC EXCHANGE! This month, Josh and I discuss Steal This Album by System of a Down and Wildlife by La Dispute. Available on the Patreon.

I’m wearing a mammal skinned suit, the enamel is in the back and Emanuel is in the front, yeh the front. I’m milting on a stranger and I feel guilt. Welcome to Charlemagne’s America.

this app sucks. Twitter obviously sucks way more so it says a lot that I’m having less fun here.

Moving to a state with a high cost of living but as a bit

I’m a balling and also shotcalling too but don’t tell Cere

Using my protective snot layer to stop a bullet from shattering my skull into a bajillion pieces

bro your mucus is looking a little thin are you stressed?

Mammals the only group to not be utilizing snot to its potential honestly

Getting disemboweled by a Jimmy John’s cashier after asking to have it “Jimmy Neutron’s Way”

I shit the bus

I shit my bike

BonerCity, Population: 1, name, this friggin guy with two thumbs 👍 👍

god is my shepherd that’s what he just told me

I met God and he lives behind the abandoned garment factory, you’ll know him by the fruit he bares and the shopping cart he pushes.

shit girl you got me so wet I’m literally oozing snot for you girl yahhh oooo yaaaaaah

*snots on you erotically*

Crucified in a Yankee Candle for preaching The Word

I wipe until I bleed that’s how I know when I’m done

BRRREAK ON THROUGH TO FUCK THAT OTHER GUY - Gay The Doors

Putting a pool noodle in my fly and yelling “look it’s my penis guys” and everyone claps and hugs me too

No that’s not chocolate. I have shit around my mouth due to all the shit I’ve been eating.

using my fingers to spread my asshole open so all the poop can come out super duper fast and then I can get back to the motherfucking grind 💯

have you guys noticed that the “jerk” in jerk chicken sound like jerking like playing with your penis, something funny to think about haha

“Cmon everybody let’s get out of here! This Applebees doesn’t serve alcohol to minors!!”

Starting a pop punk band at 25 so I can sing about being in highschool

Instead of using ChatGPT, why not just get a family member to lie to you while they set fire to a tree?

a blessed Mark Wahlberg’s 40-Day Challenge to all.

don’t meet your heros. i finally saw the critters from redwall irl and they don’t even talk. they’re just pissing and shitting everywhere.

I listened to Midwest Emo and FIDLAR before I drank, did I set myself up for failure from the git go?

how deep do you think his chin hole goes

This War Will Destabilize The Entire Mideast Region And Set Off A Global Shockwave Of Anti-Americanism vs. No It Won’t theonion.com/this-wa...

your last saved meme is your moral philosophy. Here’s mine, something to think about in this bitch of a world.

I been drinking way too much redbull

you remind me of a slinky, I wanna push you down the fucking stairs until you’re all bent and tangled

well scrunch my nuts and call me ridonculous that’s a mighty fine jalopy you got there mister - Jimmy Stewart, Vertigo 1958

chewing nicotine gum but never smoking a cigarette in my life

animal crackers in my soup monkeys and rabbits loop de loop now there’s animal crackers in my poop. Shitley Temple, Shartly Temple, you get it..

My Name is Earl is class analysis.

Joe Rogan Josh

got a belly full of booze and a car full of keys babayyyyy

Yep never better *steam shooting out of my ears like I’m in Tom and Jerry*

What if his name was Machine Gun Belly and he was just a jolly fello

bro your mucus is looking a little thin are you stressed?

mammals are nasty bro why don’t we have a mucus layer bro everybody else is doing it

my gym partners a Latero

Louisiana is better than RedHot do not ever talk to me

My mind is deteriorating