Lmao remember the New Jersey Drones Where did they go? why were so many of them Star Wars

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WOMEN

On this day in 1437, women were invented. Praise Jesus

Most of the problems we traditionally associate with AI take over could be dealt with real easy if we just make computers think we are cute and kind of dumb like a big fat baby

Arguing with Redditors about how fascism is portrayed in Elden Ring. Pray for me

Me driving a car: I don't like this, this doesn't feel safe

Probably too early in the morning for this level of grime but what a great song youtu.be/FQw0HeSbJ5A?...

One thing about me is that I am also of South African descent but my Grandpa was murdered by the Apartheid government for feeding info to the ANC. It's almost like if you're a good person you'll do the right thing regardless of your circumstances

Hot new family member just dropped: Gruncle, a combination of grandpa and uncle for use upon your Dad's elderly brother

Yes, Elon is from a historically racist region and did fascist karate in front of everyone *and* has grown a small moustache but let's give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he just shaved wrong

The phrase "High on the hog" originates from the time before chairs were invented and everyone used to sit upon large hogs

i can't remember who did it and i think they deleted it or their account but one of the things i've laughed hardest at in my life was a tweet that was just: "[alanis voice] i'm full but i'm eating"

Elon didn't say *Heil* Hitler. He said *Hi* Hitler. He saw his friend Hitler in the crowd

Cool sticker i saw. Very cool and vibey

US Government: We are banning tik tok to protect you from China US Citizens, joining an even more Chinese app: 吸我的屁股

Did the famous movie chimps of the 90's get to keep any of their money? Like, they for sure would have spent it on bananas but that is their right it was their money

When will politicians address the issues that matter to me? Enormous, wild hogs are eating my crops

Hasbro implies the existence of Lostbro

Pride cometh before a fall. Pride you have concerning sexual interests my guy

Having magnets strapped to my brain so I don't kill myself. Have we come to a consensus on how they work yet

Watching hella interior design videos has me feeling some type of way. I don't want enough money to be rich, I just want enough money to express my taste and style in my environment

Happy new year specifically to horses

There should really be a health food store called "Big Naturals"

You can tell the economy is bad because hardly anyone is busting it down, sexual style

How do you know my fanny pack isn't full of girl's phone numbers

AI generated stories on Tik Tok: My golden child brother killed my dog and cut my dick off. Years later I showed him by becoming Mayor of the bank and foreclosing on his home The people that watch them: Typical family stuff, so relatable

Have to do a bunch of chainsaw stuff today and I do not want to do it. Chainsaws are scary and if anyone tells you otherwise they are a liar or a fool

Jeff Bezos [in Borat voice]: My wife

Someone should make a website called "Website". Website dot com. Not me though, I am very busy

[RFK Junior meeting children with leukemia] Have you tried simply punching the disease

Possibly relevant

Trying to play Warcraft 3 for free. Forgot what blizzard was like lmao

Pretty wild that this year had so many facts and not one of them was fun

Just an interesting fact. Back before the Fire service was nationalised you had to buy "Fire Insurance" and if you didn't the firemen came and burned your house down

the healthiest thing you can do is lie down. having a job or a social life is very bad for you. that's why hospitals are filled with beds. you heal while you're lying down.

Diamonds are a girl's best friend really undersells the horror of women needing gold and jewels as an emergency fund in case their husband died/ abandoned them

[Sacrifices a sheep to the gods] The Gods: lol umm, thank you? What was this for again

[Elon Musk, desperate for friends, looks around the room and sees a group of heavily tattooed neo-nazis] Elon: They seem nice

"Me Ass-Well" - A British man announcing his good result from the proctologist

Ate a scotch egg, but in a stolid, proletarian way

Did they ever find those kids from the milk or was the point of that just to make breakfast terrifying for children

The next four years will either completely destroy the myth of “we need a businessman to run the country the way a CEO would” or will lead to us all toiling in underground salt mines for the Pervert King of Tulsa

BREAKING: The Teamsters are dramatically escalating their strike and taking it to Amazon’s largest NYC warehouse. Beginning at midnight tonight they will picket the massive facility with 5,500 workers. JFK8 on Staten Island is the first unionized Amazon warehouse.

There was an ugly lemon at the grocery store so I bought it because I felt bad for it and at checkout I was like "I like this ugly lemon" and the cashier got very uncomfortable for some reason

Me, in the grocery store, sobbing violently: eleven dollars for batteries Everyone else in the grocery store, also crying: why do you need batteries

Deck the Halls. Slap the floors. Beat the shit out of the foyer

While not a medical doctor, Dr Pepper does hold a PhD in neoclassical literary theory and thus deserves our respect