my little peny

i used to be gay.

my doctor said they were postponing surgery so i could watch Spongebob Squarepants for some time

just made an account on facebook to tell everyone I have crabs

my balls are so itchy and hairy

i love having covid and crabs

I will never eat a bite of raw onion

stand on my money I'm 6'7"

i just planted a land mine in a pot on my balcony

The new "The Simpsons" is basically the old show except everything is racist and every single character is completely out of touch with modern day society. For example Bart doesn't know what a couch is

the "chick magnet" is fading from this world

There's a giant frog outside asking for money or flys

i lost the game

insane floor plan i just saw. it just gets more and more confusing the more you look at it

😊 + 😔

this jit cracks fl

my heart goes out to these gay guys who are like 10 years behind on their rent

just bought some new shoes....hope they fit!

I am going to have an affair with a large mammal

im so hungry i just had to get a second opinion

crack marry unalive

Im in the dojo for getting beaten up

I wish my boss was still on maternity leave. She is such a hard working and passionate person. I wish she had to go on maternity leave again.

im having an affair with a giant juicy juicy juicy onion

i have the mrs beast infection thank you

give me a time machine and im giving lee scratch perry an angklung before he records this riddim youtu.be/mFTxmDy74LI

my life is just salmon, coconuts, and doubloons

(to my dementia-riddled grandfather) Have you heard about the new world order

When the moon hits your eyes and makes the world bright green

Youre my new best friend, Poop

just invented a drug so dangerous that even the CIA is trying to stop it

Me and my men are making waves

this jit cracks eggs apron

sam altman head explode NOW!!

shark attack in the aquarium

they say new York is the city the city of dreams, but they also say its the city that never sleeps. so which is it?

welcome... to the city with no bedtime

hell bank note i found today

Firestone, Colorado Pop: 34,230 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Firestone,_Colorado Images: https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=82405418 https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=159784755 https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=34078068

bro my ISP is so dogshit i did a speed test I got 800mbps download 0.04mbps upload. what even mate god

blasting the brothers Johnson at work

If I was a homicide detective any time there was a dead bald guy I would say looks like someone ate his hair too. It’s a sick world

new module to make cool sound

They're shooting me again

This year, I spent more time searching Google for answers "Are gay guys allowed to have sex?" than I did searching "Best time machine ever invented."

Dont have a bunch of money but thats okay bc im a millionaire

I just sent a fax... to the Simpsons office fax machine