There are days, sometimes even weeks, where I can't help but think having a ton of tiny mechanical arms would be really helpful for some of the delicate work we do here. Maybe the Adeptus Mechanicus are doing something right. But I'll hold off on the flying skull servants. Mhmm no thank you.

You'd be surprised how often "just shoot it into the sun" would not only NOT work, but make things worse by several orders of magnitude, when it comes to containing anomalies. It's basically a coin toss between "you made the anomaly mad" and "you made the sun mad". #scp #containment

Trading Card Game idea: In future, scientists discover that there are actually tiny subatomic little creatures. They capture and enbiggen these creatures to the size of dogs and have them playfully battle. Instead of elemental typing, we use up, down, strange, charm, bottom, and top. QuarkWars!

🎶"If I were not in the SCP, Something else I'd like to be. If I were not in the SCP, A window-cleaner, me! With a rub-a-dub-dub and a scrub-a-dub-dub, And a rub-a-dub all day long. With a rub-a-dub-dub and a scrub-a-dub-dub, I'd sing this merry song!"🎶 #scp #site-15

Incredibly weird vibes in the lab today... Well every day since we got it back. We still don't know if it was physically displaced or there was some other reason no one could find it. But ever since it got back, it feels off. #scp #site-15

An .AIC running in one of these little critters would be adorable I'll take 12.

Fell asleep in my office last night, and abruptly learned when the facility alarm tests are scheduled. I must have looked like a madman tearing out of my office, bleary-eyed and half-awake before I got a clue. #scp #site-15

It has been a long two weeks, but I'm back. My lab had a bit of an... Unforseen hiatus here at Site-15. And by that, I don't mean that the entire lab staff got vacation time. We uh... We kind of lost the lab itself. It's back now though. #scp

"Thank you for your consideration" is such a gotcha way to end an email or memo. If they've read that far already, you won. You tricked them into considering, and now you're smugly rubbing it in. And there's nothing they can do.

"...I mean, sure. It's POSSIBLE that there's a universe where orienting the toilet paper under isn't completely idiotic. ... Well then why don't we find it and you can go live there? You'd be a deity to those heathens, Osmand. And turn the damn rec-" #scp #candidcliff

Was doing a quick refresher on several anomalies we have here and at a few sister-sites. It occurred to me that there are a LOT more of them that you can eat than I would expect. Like, having one edible paranatural object or entity would be insane, but there's like ten. #scp #foodie

It feels like it's been 2 years but we've only just hit August. The amount of new intake and anomalies pending designation has started to grind almost all lab work to a halt. I haven't seen a movie in theaters in... Like a year?

I'm all for calling the shitty "AI" or bots clankers. But you may encounter some confusion, as it's also a less-common term used to refer to members of the Cogwork Orthodox Church. Noisy rust buckets that they are... #scp #CotBG #TMYK

Every couple of days I'm reminded that the inside of a lab is the place I am meant to be. I was on the couch in the break room yesterday and got a cramp in my leg just from sitting there. I wouldn't survive in the wild. Besides, there's enough danger contained here too. #scp #insideperson

Brain is fried. Dr Osmand was at the top of his bullshit game today and I have zero idea if the nonsense he was yammering about was cognitohazardous or not because I can't stop replaying that conversation in my head I'm inches away from forging a site transfer request with Osmand's name on it. #scp

If you tag anything with "AIart" or "midjourney" or whatever, it's an instant block. There's no such thing as an "AI artist" and you are a pathetic waste. Pick up a fucking pencil.

Sometimes I get in my own head thinking about my own body. Like, "me" is just a little clump of pink spaghetti piloting a flesh mecha that I can never leave. Or how if I wore a skeleton costume, I'd be a skin Oreo.

Popped open a fresh bag of tortilla chips to dip in my cottage cheese. Then realized I had no more chip clips available. So I asked the nice machine that lives 4 feet from my desk and 15 minutes later I had a chip clip to keep my chips fresh. 3d printing is so cool.

This is starting noooowwwwwwww

Abiotic Factor is finally out of EA, and overall, I still really enjoy the game. Sure, I might get uncomfortable flashbacks to a few of the breaches here at Site-15.... Especially during the Security Wing section... But it's great and you should have a look! #AbioticFactor #Scp

I just checked and the techs assured me that there is no evidence of any data cross-contamination between our database and possible LLM scrapeable sources. "100% air gapped as per protocol" was the phrase.

Was looking into some other #ttrpg systems for fun, and stumbled on Lancer. I was a little dismayed to find their whole "Eldritch math God Ra" arc was... Well it was basically ripped whole-cloth from an actual breach at Site-15. Except we did our job and got the good ending. #scp #lancer

I have a submission for @thelouvreof.bsky.social

Normalize wearing lab coats in public. They're light, breathable, water and stain resistant, and they cut a mean figure.

Got exceptionally high over the weekend and ended up watching the Speed Racer movie in an utter trance. Just an absolutely insane movie. Definitely made my evening. Also I was off the clock on PTO, so no one better complain about how "I'm a senior researcher and I have to set an example blah blah"

I demand we normalize carrying a little toy buddy around in your pocket all day, especially if you're an adult.

You ever noticed how cute animals tend to become some form of horrifying alien when they yawn? Like, they just morph into something kind of off-putting in a way you can't put your finger on? There's a reason for that, but I'm not at liberty to say. #scp

Today during testing, -079 called me an "ugly bag of mostly water". I'm used to insults from the impertinent thing, but I'm growing concerned by its reference to a Star Trek episode it should have zero knowledge of. #scp #scp-079

Undercover in the McDonald's bathroom waiting for the GOC schmucks to get their burgers and leave. Fuck, I hate field work. I'm a senior researcher! Why did they not send an actual agent?? At least the wifi is ok. #scp #shhh

Pataphysical anomalies like this are actually more common than most might think. It's not my area, so I'm unsure of the specifics, but there are theories that our universe is simply a fiction written by an external being. If that were the case, we would be the living document. #scp #pataphysics

SCP-999 the Tickle Monster Everyone’s favorite Anomaly is here! With SCP Foundation Comics, Patches and More! kck.st/3Zb7jJQ #SCPfoundation #SCP999

The fact that current """"A.I."""" is basically just a Speak-and-Spell with an internet connection, and every stupid C-Suite will cream the company jeans over it would be a lot more funny... y'know, if not for the lives it's ruining, environment it's destroying, and grifts it's enabling.

Had a PTO request for the 4th of July on the books for MONTHS. But I'm told some new testing equipment needs to be set up and calibrated that day so I have to come in... Then I find Dr. Osmand has the entire week off. I swear, he's GOT to have blackmail on someone. It's the only way. #scp

Would you believe that we've got anomalous versions of about two-thirds of these in storage awaiting classification right now. And it's not the ones you'd expect. #scp

if you're in Europe PLEASE consider signing the Stop Destroying Games initiative. the deadline is July 31st 2025. it aims to create legislation for publishers to stop killing the games you pay for and to provide an end-of-life plan for live-service products. thanks! eci.ec.europa.eu/045/public/#...

I cannot be the only one that walks from a deeply chilly A/C environ into the hellish outdoor heatwave and immediately feels a little sick.

God, the Wilson's Wildlife guys are such losers. Thank God we have the Boring Agreement to keep them occupied. ...and I guess to contain a couple freaky animals, but seriously. Wilson folks are just.... painfully droll. #scp #boring

I know they're not, we've done the research, but it sometimes feels like headaches should be an anomalous phenomenon. Going through my day just fine, then BAM. Head feels like gnomes are trying to mine their way out of it. #scp #headache

I still hold firm to the belief that pocket protectors never actually did much of anything.

Digging through some old documentation and I found this image from back when I was a Junior Researcher. You can tell how long ago this was by the fact that argyle was most definitely still "in". #scp #drcliff #facereveal (?)

Nothing to report on today. Absolutely zero events of potentially disastrous consequences occurred in or around any of the Site-15 facilities. On another note, you may wish to ensure you blink with both eyes at least once every 21 seconds for the foreseeable future. #scp #site-15

I absolutely love my little Zeon Goofy Goober squad. They're SO squart. #gunpla

I'm often surprised by the sheer volume of posts some people make. Posting and reposting like it's their job/only hobby when part of my job actually IS to have a presence on this site. Even if I agree with what you're saying, please, exist offline for a while. It's healthy.

Hey #art friends who take c0mms - my husband is wanting to create a sheet for c0mms, but we don't know how to price his art. I have examples of what he's done. Can anyone help?? #artists #artist #newbie #n00b

Some of the more... extreme tartarean realms have local and scientific designations given to them that helps with classification. Though I have to say, Dr. Osmand's blanket term "turbo-hell" has some real staying power to it. #scp #tartareanrealms

Well that's three new possible anomaly/external entity accounts in the last two days that I've had to flag and monitor... I'm wondering if this "public-facing outreach program" was always actually intended to be a failsafe to catch anything the crawlers missed. #scp

Our front companies are honestly killing it lately.

A bit of a "peek behind the curtain moment" here, but this was during a brief period where the Foundation was staffing the archival team with grad student writers, rather than an experienced documentation team.

The higher ups have given some feedback on how I'm running this account. This is still a hybrid between personal and observational outreach account, but going forward, I'll be posting fewer things not directly related to my position with the Foundation. #scp

My 5 month old tech business that provides nothing is going public: $50 Valuation. My 5 month old tech business that provides nothing, but we use "AI" is going public: $1.4b Valuation