Tony wyd?

Love my bb kitty

I am not a baseball fan, I am a Yankees fan. Sounds like there's a good baseball happening but I wouldn't know nor do I care.

Every time I hear this damn song this is all I can think of

Trying to explain to someone that a Choice rib roast is the same cut as Prime Rib it's just a different quality of beef.

god I fucking hate the eagles. both the football team and the band.

One above, one below

Might fuck around and drink 4 giant Bud Lights while watching Giants/Eagles at the Applebee's across the street.

Always funny to me that the PLU for pumpkins is 80085.

I cut myself making dinner and as soon as I sat down my siamese cat tried to rip the band aid off with her teeth.

Was feeling a little manic when I left work and I got home and my cats are absolutely matching my energy

Not today Canada

Kevin Hart is a comedian in the same way soylent is food

As the Yankees continue to make little league mistakes Michael Kay is in the booth complaining about a carrot cake they bought for someone else's birthday.

Weird to get my heinously unfair and myopic annual review at my job 5 days before I leave on workers comp indefinitely. fuck em.

Decided to buy a box of "fully cooked bacon" as a short cut last night and that shit suuuuuucks

Guilt is a poleaxe, shame is a nunchuks, etc.

Now that we know happiness is a warm gun and sympathy is a knife, it's pretty clear that we need to reinvest in basic research to identify which other feelings are also weapons

Imagine if raw chicken juice dripped down and accumulated on some absorbent pads over the course of let's say, 3 months.

42 years old and I smelled the worst thing I've ever smelled today.

I found this in a bunch of stuff my granny gave me and I want to drink out of it but it looks like it's mostly made of lead

Put some shit in my hair before yoga last night and then slept on it.

Very normal madame

I'm gonna buy a big fluffy towel

🏈 GB 40 - 40 DAL 0:00 OT This game has a 100.00% chance of ending in Scorigami.

When a brain cell meet a brain cell, a sleepin' on the couch.

Yankees/Sawx playoff series, baby. Should be fun as a New Yorker in deep New England.

We are but croutons

In my larvae form

Trying to finish this book tonight but I'm also drinking some high gravity IPAs. Who will win?

She should just stay over there

9-7 again?! 27-21 on the season. Last week before byes start!

Glandular Lansbury

No surgery for now, I just have to get some steroids injected into my spine 😬

@christophernolan.bsky.social Hello sir. I am jacking off to Batman Begins.

That's some comfort food right there.

Jared Goff is just David Wain doing a bit.

When I used to do stand up I had a joke about how taco bell and cocaine have the same rule: it's fine if you only do it once every few months.

When David Bowie said "I'm an alligator, I'm I a mamapapa coming for you" that really spoke to me.

She only prescribes Jagged Little Pills

I have a yoga class at 5pm but I had to finish the three beers and half a bottle of wine left over from dinner last night and I don't think I'm gonna make it.

The Giants: why

This episode came out 27 years ago

We dem boys

Lmao

My man is sweaty

If you really want to level up your fall recipes I recommend frying sage leaves in a neutral oil. Both the crispy leaves and the oil make great garnishes.