When you think about it, the Donner party was kind of a pot luck.

Keep your food for thought, I’ll stick to my beverages for feelings.

“Love isn’t a noun. It’s a verb,” I said. But apparently it’s both, so I only got half marks on that question.

IDKWNK *I don’t know, will never know

Nevertheless he persistently mansplained.

They say there are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing matters, and the other is as though everything does. But they were all of them deceived, for another way to live your life was made, forged in secret, a master way to live your life to control all others.

Hey! I interviewed John Linnell of They Might Be Giants! The interview was to air last week, but it was delayed to April 21, at ~7:20 am MDT (that’s 6:20 am PDT, 9:20 EDT, and I’ll rely on you to do other math as needed). Tune in at 88.5 fm in #yeg or listen live at CJSR. com

A brief promotional statement about a small European country is called a Luxemblurb.

What’s the Dow at now, PAM?!

The manosphere is neither a sphere, nor populated by men. Follow me for more fun facts!

Next time anyone shows you pictures of their new baby, just scoff, say “AI,” and turn away.

Eyelets are the window to the sole.

“Olil,” Yoda texted back to my funny meme

My meagre photoshopping skills on full display!

A new app for people who ostensibly speak English as their one and only language, but somehow still haven’t mastered it: Monolingo

This Wikipedia page on Lepoidae has really lead me down a rabbit hole.

In Canada, we call it the 914.4 meter stare.

You know when a work meeting ends early and your boss says, "I'll give you back your time"? I found out what not to reply is, "What about my soul?"

[hitting on my friend’s side piece] So … is there a mister-ess?

“Not purring, huh? Let me look up your account … ah. I see you’re on Cat Basic. You’ll need at least Cat Plus to get the purring, or Cat Premium for head bumps” Coming soon: CaaS (Cat as a Service)

“Ugh, fine. I don’t want to get a failing grade, so I guess I’ll do the cursing for all of us” The Blair Witch Group Project

When they tell you they have the gift of gab, and you’re just hoping they have a gift receipt.

The lemon is a hybrid of the citron and the bitter orange, possibly first appearing in the 1st millennium BC in what is now northeastern India. Life never *gave* us lemons. We fucking made them.

Perpetually disappointed that this book isn’t real

Why doesn’t the doctor ever pull out her pad and say “I’m writing you a prescription for butter and cream, and I’m putting you on daily bacon”

A half truth, plus a quarter fact, plus a quarter sooth, equals a single valid statement.

If you don’t know what to give someone for Christmas, you can always give them the heebie-jeebies.

Every time they draw the lottery numbers I think “That’s so random!”

All I want for Christmas are the Epstein files

We had 69. The new generation only has 67. Shrinkflation is no joke.

Feels like no matter how much daylight we save, the darkness still persists.

You scratch my humpback, and I’ll scratch yours. A classic Quid-Pro-Quasimodo

There is poetry in everyone.

Quasimodo watched, a single tear running down his cheek, as Esmeralda walked off arm in arm with his cousin who was in fairness, he thought, the the real Totalmodo.

You contain multitudes* *limit three tudes per customer

God gives His sexiest battles to His horniest soldiers

“Welcome back to my YouTube channel where I talk exclusively about symbiotic relationships between fungi and algae. If you’re new here, remember to lichen subscribe”

Jeff Bezos should shorten the WaPo slogan to just “Democracy Dies”

I'll be at the library on Sept 6th at 10am signing books. I'm not an author or anything I just like writing my name on books.

Happy birthday wishes are in order for my beloved, @theanastasia.bsky.social Do hop over to her feed to leave her appropriately good wishes for her birthday ☺️🎂

Women gush: “He makes me feel seen” “He makes me feel heard” They never appreciate that I make them feel smelled.

I wonder if models have to be tall because the fashion industry wants to hold women to impossible height standards too.

Lose up to 1/2 a pound in one evening with my Illicit Kidney Theft Diet! For details, come to the Howard Johnson’s Motel on Route 6, room 17, just by the ice machine.

I assume that gen alpha relationships will all be gender fluid polycules that require at least a master’s degree in combinatorial mathematics to understand. Honestly that’s fine. At least they’re into STEM.

Happy 4th of July to all Americans, even the loser* & hater* *Donald J. Bone Spurs

Happy Canada Day to those who observe! May you spend the day with friends & family, eating & drinking to excess, sitting about fires or soaking in cool pools, enjoying everything to the fullest That’s what Canada was made for. I think. I didn’t really pay attention in history

Due to budget constraints, there will henceforth be only one wolf inside you.

They’re into communist vexillology? That’s a red flag.