These are high school bully fucking losers who deserve to be proverbially shoved into a locker and put back in their place

SCOOP — Part of the reason Disney/ABC may have rushed to sort things out with Kimmel is because tomorrow they have a planned price increase for Disney+ streaming, a Disney source tells me. With subscriptions hemorrhaging since last week, they couldn’t risk losing more users with this announcement.

Hahahahaha

big fireworks in LA tonight. just gonna close my eyes in bed and pretend it’s because it happened

If it happens i’m gonna do unbridled joy stuff for 72 hours straight. Just whatever comes to mind in the moment. I might even throw a frisbee.

In 2010 I had two margaritas with Paul McCartney at the Four Seasons in Los Angeles, and unsurprisingly, everything has been sharply downhill since. Not that my life isn’t great and worthwhile, but still. Sharply downhill.

Restaurants need to 100% cut off influencers for their own sake. No free meals to anyone ever. There’s a reason major critics and reviewers always pay for their meals. Influencers just try to hold restaurants hostage despite usually having no culinary expertise as all. 🍽️

Ozzy is one of like 3 people in Decline of Western Civilization Part 2 that comes off as a decent human being and I always love the scene where Penelope Spheeris interviews him making breakfast while he explains the ups and downs of the business.

used my sourdough discards to make funnel cake and completely ruined my dinner 🍽️ worth it

Came home from a trip to the UK to find the most gorgeous new leaf on our albino 🌱

Bruce Springsteen being an old dad texter is extremely endearing

Used my fresh baked sourdough to make a true abomination of a Pork Roll, Egg and Cheese sandwich. I will regret this for days to come. 🍽️

First attempt at sourdough. I screamed when I cut into it and it looked halfway decent 🍽️

I wrote about what’s currently happening in Los Angeles on my Substack open.substack.com/pub/robhoffm...

Based Bill Burr giving the most based take

newest Substack combines both food and flora still-life work. hope you’ll check it out and subscribe! robhoffman.substack.com 🌱 🍽️

A new substack is up featuring this handsome portrait of a pig skull i took for a Michelin star restaurant, which is coincidentally now available for purchase in my print shop and would look amazing in your kitchen 🍽️ : www.robhoffmanphotos.com/store-1

Repackaging and selling something that’s widely seen as the epitome of failure is some wild late stage capitalism shit

slowly becoming the flower portrait guy on BlueSky and I’m fine w that tbh 🌱

my girlfriend got a lovely bouquet from a client and i quickly tore it apart for portraits (with permission) 🌱

A new portrait set for my 🌱 friends

Headlines from David Brooks, 2020-2025

We simply had to intentionally destroy the world’s strongest economy while dismantling our scientific and educational infrastructure to ensure that a team with a trans girl would never finish second place in the Mountain West volleyball standings again

🤷🏻‍♀️

Another flower Substack has been added to round out a great week of focusing on flower portraits. Please give it a visit and sign up for my email list. It’s been a *fucking* week. 🌱 #photography #art robhoffman.substack.com

my collection of fresh flowers from this week’s photo sessions 🌱

I could take flower portraits all day (and i have been) 🌱 please follow my substack for more! robhoffman.substack.com

some more film noir flowers today 🌱

a new nite moves is out. a collection of flower portraits from today for all my garden folks 🌱 open.substack.com/pub/robhoffm...

Empathy is killing western civilization. It is a sign of cultural rot. Unless it is empathy for me, the richest man in the world, losing money

I was talking to the Brewers manager and he told me that every time the Yankees hit a grand slam he just puts in a new pitcher and I told him it sounds like he's just feeding pitchers to the Yankees and his pitching coach started crying

We need every branded account to start developing crass strategies for bullying Elon Musk for easy clout. Chum the water. I don’t approve of brands but if the Charmin account tells him to put a gun in his mouth and that’s the thing that does it I’m exclusively buying that toilet paper for life.

Get Rekt

I feel nothing for these people

Unfortunately for the Democrats, no, you cannot flashmob your way out of a coup. www.garbageday.email/p/democrats-...

State of the Union:

Covered in mud and drinking beers at noon. It’s garden season baby 🌱

I don't remember saying this.

printing and matting photos for my paid substack subscribers today. threw a free one up in my little library too

i would love to act like the adult i am but unfortunately i do not have the financial means to do so

Making my dog pupcakes for his birthday and need to use one egg

My gallery of images from my time with Beyoncé is now live. I hope you enjoy. www.robhoffmangallery.com

Folks. We did it. Me and my brother made our own wine. I am just fucking overjoyed 🍽️

I made wine with my brother! It’s called Hey Brother! Here are our sample labels. I’m going to individually watercolor the labels for first few cases of bottles because I’m slightly crazy! 🍽️

Knowing which team is going to win these rigged NFL games takes some of the fun out of watching them but all the money I’m making from betting on them more than makes up for it