Die Hard is a Christmas movie in the same way Stop The Cavalry is a Christmas song They both mention 'Christmas' at least once. Science fact. So fuck off

News - one of the most famous shopping areas in one of the most well known capital cities in the world is busy at Christmas Of course, there's inbred smooth brains blaming Khan, and London being a lawless hellhole (so says Colin from Yorkshire) etc etc Arsewipes

As is standard, one of my kids was unwell today, just before Christmas. Called 111, they said likely ok, but better to be safe. Take him to the local hospital urgent care,,we'll let them know you're on your way. Grand. Get there, triage nurse - 'why are you here? You shouldn't have come here!'

I bet he's furious

Going to the panto today, with Su Pollard starring

Ate an absolute bastard amount of cheese today

As anyone who knows me knows, I generally find cats as interesting as radiators, but there's no denying my friend's cat is bloody gorgeous

Can those soppy squealing Minecraft YouTube bells take up boxing too please?

Today, I'm going to Rochester for some lunchy based reason

3x tins of M&S Gin & Tonic for 8 jib 50 for the train home!!!!!

I know 98% of the world think Slade only did one song, but this one is a banger and beautiful This is up there with Freebird as the song I want playing when I go through the curtains for the last time

Christmas drinks with my old uni mates up King's Cross today

Can we make it so more useless, bellowing pricks with faces you'd never tire of running over get their jaws spun please

Tonight's #horror - [REC], the original Spanish one Haven't watched this for years. So bloody good

I blame this shitshow song for every piece of auto tune cock-knobbery that ever slithered out of of talentless bumsplat's face holes #top

God I used to fancy the staggering PVC clad woman #totp

All Saints absolutely pee-pee'd all over Spice Girls. Superior And that's Science Jesus Fact #totp

How the FUCK was this twee shit no1 and not Chocolate Salty Balls??? This is why the British public shouldn't be trusted with anything, bunch of tasteless degenerates #totp

I fucking hate Angels because I was in a sixth form band and the singer/band bully convinced me to sing it at a rough pub gig knowing i could not sing. I was shit #totp

Definitely some horror tonight, havent watched one for ages (two weeks)

Likely some chicken or burger based takeaway tonight to.celebrate the kids finishing school

First picture that comes up when you Google this dickstain You would not tire of punching that face, and I hope Joshua doesn't. Even though it's a fucking pantomime

On a group work call today, at the end one lad asks me to stay on Here we go, I thought. 'Mate, just wanted to say how much I enjoy working with you, that's it. Cheers!' Made me bloody day that, just a simple little thing. I'm gonna go spread some sweet love myself now

I know it's not the Lisa Lougheed version, but this is such a banger for a cartoon theme

Wise words that could probably apply to 99% of things

Finished the latest series of Slow Horses last night. I think it's my number one telly, that. Absolutely brilliant. Although I cant decide if it's Roddy or Whelan I want involved in a terrible industrial accident more

I'd do atrocious but very consensual acts for a bakewell tart right now

Came back into the office after lunch, security stopped me and asked if I worked there I've been there for 3 weeks. Do I really look that bad?

I keep getting a popping noise from my nose whenever I bresth out. No amput of nose blowing is stopping it. I might take a drill to my face at this rate

'Can you cost up this project please?' 'Sure, what's the budget?' 'We don't know' *costs as best I can* 'Hmm, too expensive' 'How do you know if you don't have a budget?' 'I know they'll say no, can you reduce it by £30k' 'I can, then you'll likely be making a loss' 'Well... we have to'

Banger

A bit of sunday boozing in Southwark is the order of the day

I'm going to watch a football game today like a right #lad Go on the soccer!

A Christian i know is sharing videos on FB of someone on a British beach saying they'll 'stop the boats' with 'no mercy' So people should drown, eh? I love that cosy, friendly religious stuff

Ooooffff, Jayne Middlemiss... When i first met Mrs Wife, one of the first things I heard about her was 'she looks like Jayne Middlemiss'

I started a short term contract just for December. I was given 24 hours notification. I said from the start the days/times I couldn't do as I hadn't planned to work, it's Xmas, I had commitments. 'Fine' I was told. Not a problem Just had a call with someone moaning about me not being there

Friday is WFH. Noticed on Teams, all my team talking about what time they are getting into the office. Me: Why is everyone in today? Them: Oh, it's the team drinks, are you coming? NFI mate... (I am a contractor, so I technically shoudln't. But still, Voodoo dolls are being made)

Yes! Going to see Alanis Morisette and Skunk.Anansie in 2026

It's that time if year where I notice this design fail in our festive decorations 'What's missing... aha! Santa's festive jangly glowing bellend. Of course!'

Our Streethawk

Remember when people used to smugly say 'do your research' when their idea of 'research' was googling their own biases and going 'see, it's true, this random blog said so'

Gutted

Going out boozing to a Wetherspoons tonight

You will be visited by three spirits

'Unknown caller ID'

There are many people here shouting at a cartoon. People need to be stopped. They're not right in the skull

I know Tarantino is a right shit at the moment, but I'm forever grateful that at 15, having access to a VHS copy of Pulp Fiction, it got me a right good ticket to the Touching Shed with a girl in my class when I invited her round to watch it one afternoon

So my trip into London started with me absolutely fucking stacking it in the road right outside the Ritz, so hard I went THROUGH THE KNEE OF MY JEANS I blame the forriners, or Sadiq Khan, os something The shame....

Meeting some friends for lunch in allegedly crime-infested hellhole and completely overrun by 'forriners' London today. I'm willing to bet it's actually quite pleasant