Zach Peterson
@zeepers.bsky.social
📤 279
📥 215
📝 132
I live in a ditch I move at the speed of business Part of God’s empty promise “Comedian”
Honestly, goofy doesn’t seem that goofy. He just seems irresponsible.
3 days ago
0
1
0
Sometimes, when I worry that I may not be dressed up enough for an event, I remember where I live, and I know that no matter where I go, there will be some dude in a husker hoodie, regardless of the situation
9 days ago
0
8
4
My sleep paralysis demons keep telling me to watch Yellowstone and it’s getting annoying.
18 days ago
0
0
0
reposted by
Zach Peterson
The Onion
24 days ago
‘7 Days,’ Hisses Little Girl On Phone Call Welcoming Draft Pick To Jets
11
1218
165
BREAKING- Trump is ENRAGED that the blockade of the Strait of Hormuz has only received 3 Booms from the Rizzler.
29 days ago
0
1
0
Shout out to all the pimps and players lamenting sorrow tonight.
about 1 month ago
0
2
0
Wanted to put this weird interaction I had after a show to see if anyone can make sense of it hey I enjoyed your little skits or whatever "ok..Thanks." I got a movie recomendation for you" "sure! "mud" “I've seen it" think its about time you rewatch it He pats the top of my shoulder like a father.
about 1 month ago
0
0
0
Why do all new “modern” houses end up looking like a PlayStation 2?
about 1 month ago
0
2
0
Trying to think of a dumb lie to post on the internet for April fools.
about 2 months ago
0
1
0
On top of funding DHS and TSA there is also funding in that bill to keep having that one guy do flips off of a piano when he sings. This shit has got to stop.
about 2 months ago
0
1
0
Post nut clarity is how I refer to all my shelves when I put away my nutcracker collection after the holidays.
about 2 months ago
2
2
1
I don’t know if I love doing stand-up comedy or if I just love eating fast food in hotel rooms
about 2 months ago
0
4
0
Would love to become obsessed with a legendary treasure, preferably, to a point beyond madness.
2 months ago
0
1
0
“Please sir… may I KeEP it TwiZtEd?” Oliver Twisted Tea
3 months ago
0
1
0
Honestly couldn’t think of a worse hell than creating content that causes people to engage with me.
3 months ago
0
2
0
3 months ago
0
4
0
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
0
0
0
My Ai prompt of “fish man angry at his water bill” is worth environmentall catastrophe.
3 months ago
0
0
0
Minions just aren’t that important to me.
3 months ago
1
1
1
I know history, so it seems pretty unfair that I am also doomed to repeat it.
4 months ago
0
2
1
Continuously justifying murder of innocents has to rot a hole through the soul of all of those who seem to have such a tenuous grasp of their humanity already.
4 months ago
0
2
0
Vanity license plate idea: HRD FRTR
4 months ago
0
1
0
In the home I grew up in, you weren’t allowed to post memes. ☹️
5 months ago
0
3
0
I feel like less people would lash out online if they were versed in the way of the blade
5 months ago
0
0
0
Hoping to get an Apple Watch for Christmas. An Apple Watch is when the condition are right for an Apple. An Apple warning is when an Apple has been spotted in the area.
5 months ago
0
3
1
Just saw a rap rock scored slideshow of John Brown on TikTok. Im like super amped and confused.
5 months ago
0
2
0
“I don’t have a favorite frozen pizza” is just bragging about growing up with married parents.
7 months ago
1
5
0
Heaven can’t be crowded, because if it was, it wouldn’t be heaven.
7 months ago
0
1
0
Those people talk like parents whose kids went no contact.
add a skeleton here at some point
9 months ago
0
4
0
reposted by
Zach Peterson
James Fritz
10 months ago
New album out today on
@aspecialthing.bsky.social
Thank you to everyone who ever gave me stage time, everyone who ever laughed, everyone who ever recoiled, the sun, the moon and the stars
lnk.to/yellsatcrowd...
loading . . .
James Fritz - Old Man Yells at Crowd
Listen to Old Man Yells at Crowd by James Fritz.
https://lnk.to/yellsatcrowd?fbclid=PAQ0xDSwLw9QhleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABp1UkSqvn2g0fEVTEDelAHiKjafiyr30b7oBj-uHuo0gofo0QRRpOvwFtAv90_aem_Lg4Mct1tzEUi-feFuTqtdw
0
21
10
Idea for a restaurant: Benihana but instead of a hibachi grill, we have a George Foreman grill that is manned by a shirtless guy in boxing gloves that entertains the table.
10 months ago
1
2
0
Sorry for interrupting you opening your lootcrate but you have to sign these custody papers.
10 months ago
0
2
0
Never do I feel more like an entitled prick than when an automatic door doesn’t open
11 months ago
0
3
0
Radishes taste like hot dirt.
11 months ago
1
0
0
reposted by
Zach Peterson
Rude Law Dog
11 months ago
add a skeleton here at some point
41
7905
1468
Turnstile sounds like if Snapcase started taking their meds.
11 months ago
0
1
0
I bet being dead feels exactly like scrolling on your phone.
11 months ago
0
2
0
A movie about the dog who is best at sitting: Chair Bud.
11 months ago
0
0
0
We should invest in high speed rail, the murder mysteries alone justifies the time, effort and money.
12 months ago
0
1
0
Sure, they may not do the best job, but you can’t beat the price of circumcisions at sports clips
12 months ago
1
2
0
Hello? Hello? Is this the hotline I call to report my wife being careless with a bag of tortilla chip, so now they are in such small pieces that I look like I’m testing cocaine to make sure it’s real on my gums, when I eat them?
12 months ago
0
3
0
Sorry guys I have to log off. I gotta go take my dick hole medicine.
about 1 year ago
0
1
0
Zuck: the average American has three friends.
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 year ago
0
3
0
It’s financial literacy month. so time to teach some money to read.
about 1 year ago
0
1
0
Frankenstein’s monster truck.
about 1 year ago
0
1
0
Omaha!! Thursday and Friday!!
about 1 year ago
0
3
0
Omaha!! Thursday and Friday!!
about 1 year ago
0
1
0
How long do you have to be in an escape room to claim squatter’s rights?
about 1 year ago
0
3
0
I think if I ever tried lean or model trains it would be all I ever talked about.
about 1 year ago
1
6
0
Still talking about the same thing - because it makes content and I’m supposed to make that.
#standupcomedy
#funkopop
#vhs
#vhstapes
#whocares
loading . . .
about 1 year ago
0
0
0
Load more
feeds!
log in