I think 2,000 followers could fix me

BREAKING: Speaker Mike Johnson narrowly avoids reading about that thing that everyone is talking about

1. The Nuzzi stuff is absolutely grotesque, and is rightly a scandal 2. The scandal isn't breaking confinement outside of journalism nerdworld, and won't -- it's a scandal the public won't ever find out about or get angry about, because mainstream journalism won't elevate it 3. This is the problem

Good morning to Brazilian reporter Manuela Borges, who’s been waiting eleven years for this petty moment. ❤️ 🇧🇷

My god, this is it. This is why Trump is so hell-bent on warring with Venezuela. It's not for the oil. It's for his batshit conspiracy addled belief that they intentionally emptied prisons & insane asylums & shipped them to the US, & helped rig the 2020 election www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...

Guillermo del Toro’s Barbie

Buckaroo Bonzai Against the World Crime League.

BREAKING: new emails CONFIRM my reporting that there are TRAINING VIDEOS instructing FBI personnel on how to review the Epstein Files. Plus, a lot more…

Pizza is a pie. I don't make the rules. This originates from episode 22, season 1 of The Flintstones, February 24, 1961.

My god, this is it. This is why Trump is so hell-bent on warring with Venezuela. It's not for the oil. It's for his batshit conspiracy addled belief that they intentionally emptied prisons & insane asylums & shipped them to the US, & helped rig the 2020 election www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...

Mario is an absolute cuck. What a loser.

Post a famous bathroom scene.

Do You Remember? WKRP Cincinnati. The Turkey Drop. 😂

Every single Democrat law maker, every allied celebrity, every single decent normal voter, should record a video where they repeat, word for word, what the 6 Dem veterans recorded, about following only legal military orders. Dare them. Dare them to charge EVERYONE

Sure you are.

Seriously: Every single Democrat law maker, every allied celebrity, every single decent normal voter, should record a video where they repeat, word for word, what the 6 Dem veterans recorded, regarding following only legal military orders. Dare them. Dare them to charge EVERYONE

Me: "I love Ubering into downtown Nashville from the airport at night, as the streets are getting lively. Or back to the airport in the early morning, after the streets are empty, and still wet after the sweepers have been through" Elon: "Then you're going to *love* getting into this tunnel"

Me: "I love Ubering into downtown Nashville from the airport at night, as the streets are getting lively. Or back to the airport in the early morning, after the streets are empty, and still wet after the sweepers have been through" Elon: "Then you're going to love getting into this tunnel"

Here are my top 10 dogs carrying big sticks!

JD Vance, Jared Kushner, and Steve Witkoff just drafted a plan that would effectively hand Ukraine over to Putin. But what were they really trying to do?

Elon at Tesla AGM: "AI will end hunger, crime, poverty, and usher in a golden age of global enlightenment" Elon at a party [holding up phone]: "Who wants to hear Grok insult this Jewish guy"

Yes, yes, just like the rest of us Epstein-afilliated, beet juice selling gun nuts, yes, her finger is on the PULSE (assuming this piece is parody. It just has to be)

Dem lawmakers video: "Remember: child rape is against the law" Trump / GOP: "Whoa whoa whoa baselessly attacking the president, wtf"

[Data center hums, rows of GPUs fire up, millions of volts of electricity, millions of gallons of water, row after row, rack after rack of GPUs processing billions of calculations, a pinnacle of intelligence unbound] Grok [on phone Elon's holding up at a party]: "Nice fucking nose on you, big nose"

This entire thing is a roadmap for getting under Trump's skin. Civilian Dem lawmakers and others should do a series of videos urging people not to commit crimes if Trump requests them "Remember. You have a duty to NOT shoot someone in the middle of 5th Avenue, even if the president asks you to"

like if you validate your idea by doing it completely unsustainably you haven't validated anything. "I validated my business plan by selling dollar bills for 50 cents" no you didn't

Dem lawmakers video: "Remember: child rape is against the law" Trump / GOP: "Whoa whoa whoa baselessly attacking the president, wtf"

Elon at Tesla AGM: "AI will end hunger, crime, poverty, and usher in a golden age of global enlightenment" Elon at a party [holding up phone]: "Who wants to hear Grok insult this Jewish guy"

[Data center hums, rows of GPUs fire up, millions of volts of electricity, millions of gallons of water, row after row, rack after rack of GPUs processing billions of calculations, a pinnacle of intelligence unbound] Grok [on phone Elon's holding up at a party]: "Nice fucking nose on you, big nose"

Hey Pete, I hear Lindsey Halligan is free to take this one up

This entire thing is a roadmap for getting under Trump's skin. Civilian Dem lawmakers and others should do a series of videos urging people not to commit crimes if Trump requests them "Remember. You have a duty to NOT shoot someone in the middle of 5th Avenue, even if the president asks you to"

This is absolutely BONKERS America ffs, SNAP OUT OF IT

Did you mark my words?

This was, in my opinion, a banger

I had a great aunt who taught her parrot to swear

"Sorry, did I say Syria? I mean he drew some boobs on a box of cereal"

Another step closer to a Gorilla Channel universe

I’ll never put on a lifejacket again, Charlie Brown

Heineken? Fuck that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon, Charlie Brown

Why is Kushner involved in the Ukraine peace talks? Because Kushner is in deep with SA & MBS, & MBS is allied with Putin. Together, they control 1/5 of global oil production. What's good for Russia is good for SA, and that's good for Kushner's pocketbook. Just like helping MBS kill Khashoggi was

For eveningsky

Another step closer to a Gorilla Channel universe

Now go home and get your fucken’ shinebox, Charlie Brown...

You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight, Charlie Brown?

Please put down your weapon. You have 20 seconds to comply, Charlie Brown

money can buy you lots of things but based on this picture an ass is not one of them

Is it waxing? Waning? 50% full, or 50% empty? Anything is possible. Love this time of day.

This Trump guy's a little crazy, huh? I just noticed that. Have you— He seems unhinged! I don't know. We don't still have nuclear bombs, right?

I'm with you sister