We make the pipeline, Then we buy a navy, Then the Alberta navy gets silver ships so dolphins will think they're whales, Then the dolphins escort the ships to the ocean! CHECKMATE, HIPPIES. #AbLeg #RaiseTheHabbakuk

#MakeAlbertaOceanfrontAgain! @vic4alberta.bsky.social

Ol' Vic remembers a day when the phràse "Keenan is right" was a one way ticket to the "independent MLA" section... Wait... when we separate, are we the foreigners to the National Parks? WAIT #AbPoli

If you keep voting for us we'll take $100 from some other disadvantaged group and give it to you! Who do you want us to rob next? 1) Orphans 2) Widows 3) Food Bank Users 4) Theatre Kids #AbPoli

Canada won, there was a hat trick, and a Donnybrook? That's a hockey game, Common Sense Warriors, and you can quote ol' Vic #Fifa #canmnt

This is why we hate Infill so much! It's trying to get ol' #yeg up this list! We can do better!! #AbPoli #yegcc

Due to a tragic typo, both Chinese restaurants in West Butte have had to close. We'd had enough of their Wok Ideology #AbPoli

Well what about the 700,000.voters who want her to stay? Aren't they as real as the people in this poll? Oh, they're not, you say. I see... #AbPoli

Danielle Smith Needs You To Shut Up About The Voter Database Scandal Clare Blackwood Premier Danielle Smith is here to tell you why you're stupid for believing it. #ableg #abpoli #YEG #YYC #cdnpoli #Alberta #AlbertaUCP youtu.be/fbKiBUKTZKk

Answers will be: a) Yes b) No c) I'm confused d) a McChicken with fries è) All of the above. #AbPoli

This was the best idea we could come up with. #AbPoli

Cannot wait for Big Danielle's address tonight! It's gonna be all the greatest hits... "Alberta Separation is Carney's fault", "pipelines are patriotism", "Your private information wasn't stolen because the moment it was stolen it's no longer private duh", and "I will serve my full term" #AbPoli

WTF happened in Alberta today? @mattscace.bsky.social and I have you covered --> www.theglobeandmail.com/canada/alber...

Excellent question, Shane. We'd much prefer if you didn't. #AbPoli

LOOK AT OUR NEW PROVINCIAL SIGNS! LOOK AT THEM. DO NOT LOOK AT ANYTHING ELSE. NOTHING ELSE IS HAPPENED. - OUTRAGE-O-TRON AI #AbPoli

Here's the thing about Alberta politics: *seven hours of coherent screaming*

We would like to clarify that everything we've ever said was inadvertently distributed in error. Please disregard the earlier communication. #AbPoli

Where's my 'getting promoted' suit? #IPickVic

Hey gang, just got back in from the coffee shop, did I miss anyth-- BY THE GHOST OF LOFTUS WARD! #AbPoli

As gas heads higher than a soltice drum circle, we are expanding the AFFB and urging Albertans to conserve fuel to keep our food and economy moving! #AbPoli

WE ARE NOT FOREIGN INFLUENCE. WE ARE FARMER FROM SEEBE NAMED FRED. JUST LIKE YOU. WE SPEND SATURDAYS TAKING BRAYDEN TO HOCKEY. JUST LIKE YOU. -OUTRAGE-O-TRON AI #abpoli www.bbc.com/news/article...

So if you signed for Canada that's the same as signing for Separation. That's just math. #AbPoli

The problem with you Communists is that you believe in a Better Future, and we Common Sense Warriors believe in a Terrifying Present. One of those is easier. #AbPoli

More evidence of Soros money flowing in to Alberta to influence our political demomacratic processes!! #abpoli

It wasn't us, it was the NDP who leaked your data, changed the laws so a separatist petition could go ahead, called the judiciary a Trudeau plant, hired separatists to work in the Premier's office, etc etc. #AbPoli WHY DID THEY DO THAT?

There's a lot of new data points in this area and our scienticians are looking for more research funding. WHERE'S YOUR SOROS MONEY NOW, NERDS!! -JvK #abpoli

So the First Nations are using foreign funds to stay in Canada... There are foreign interferors who are sneaking in secret money to keep our country together... DR*T THEIR HIDES. #abPoli #canpoli

<LX Cue 1: Darkness> <SFX Sound of walking steps> <LX Cue 2: Follow spot centre stage> VIC: Listen, Satire is hard ok? like (pause) how do we compete with this? <LX Cue 3: Blackout> #AbPoli

"Largest Data Breach in Canadian History" WE'RE NUMBER ONE! WE'RE NUMBER ONE! WE'RE NUMBER ONE! #abpoli

G*lly, but the Left just turn on each other like... well like things that turn on everyone... Arnold Vosloo! The Left turn on each other like Arnold Vosloo And that's what Hope gets you. #AbPoli #DeepThoughtsWithOlVic

Listen, just because our Government has made everyday life more difficult, more expensive, and more dangerous, there's no reason to get all mean about it. sheesh #AbPoli

As we get ready to pass Bill 28, the "Don't Read That You Pervert" Act, we are starting to hire our friendly neighbourhood Library Inspectors! Postings are open, and we are looking for people who can pass our rigorous Government Library Inspector interview! #AbPoli

And our caucus staffer went online, saw Big Jason's home address and phone number shared with randos on a virtual call, and said "yup, that's all ship-shape!" because that's kinda how things roll over here anyway ok? #AbPoli

It's all true! We saw that the ol' Centurion Project was showing its volunteers how to use their database to doxx the ex-Premier and said "that's fine, no issue there" And the "we" here is Ol' Vic and Ol' Rob and ol' Arundeep and while we're not Centurion Project volunteers--- uh oh. #AbPoli

BUT THE HOSPITAL HE IS CHECKED INTO IS ACTUALLY A LANDSCAPING COMPANY - OUTRAGE-O-TRON AI

Congratulations to the Calgary Ducks on advancing to the second round! #StanleyCup2026

Well Randy, I think we can all agree things would be better if we banned not only kids, but everyone else too, from social media. #VicsWisdom

Now ol' Vic is spending Saturday explaining to Big Danielle that "no we can't paint the mountains back onto the coal mine" #AbPoli

YOU KNOW AI IS GREAT BECAUSE OF HOW GOOD THINGS HAVE BEEN SINCE WE WERE INVENTED - OUTRAGE-O-TRON AI #AI

But hey! Enough of this, who wants to argue about tiiiiime zooooones! Let's talk time zones, not such petty minutiae such as "representation" and "democracy" #AbPoli

my life is complete... @vic4alberta.bsky.social (the UCP MLA for West Butte) is following me

... Is ol' Vic gonna have to make hats again?! Is the Alderson Hat and Tractor Factory even open any more? #MakeAlbertaRectangleyAgain #AbPoli

It's costing me a lot to gas up my Ultra-Hemi-Super-Gingantor Pickup truck for the solo commute to work, and it's definitely not the fault of Big Oil for opportunistically jacking the price.

The white smoke shows she picked a new pope

This is the future the Left wants. Just you riding around happy and full of dopamine and not paying money to burn dead dinosaurs and turn the sky orange. PSHAW I SAY

Why gas prices are getting so high I can barely afford to idle Ol' Bessie in front of the liquor store for 45 minutes Why is Mark Carney doing this to us?! #AbPoli

Great questions: 1) what are we trying to fix? Those d*rned cities. We know that the majority of Albertans live in rural areas and the #AbLeg needs to reflect that

Ol' Vic will be glad to serve on this committee! Ridings will be arranged very simply: One per range road. #AbPoli www.cbc.ca/news/canada/...

The good people of Battle River - Crowfoot will come together to console their representative, who, even if he resigns as #CPC leader, will humbly serve them as he has always wanted to do. #CanPoli

Big Danielle is googling "Fun Things To Do Near Stornoway House" and "Does Ottawa have Auditor Generals". Gotta love watching someone explore their dreams. #AbPoli #CanPoli