I've committed Revenged Love fanfiction: archiveofourown.org/works/71244796 This isn't the most fucked up thing Guo Chengyu has done to get laid, but bribing his boyfriend's best friend with milk tea coupons for intelligence is easily in the top five.

also lol fuck charlie kirk

So I finally have a kpop bias! Unfortunately, it is Umjay from the disbanded group HI-BOYZ, which exists only within the universe of Resident Playbook, but that has not protected me from listening to the fucking earworm bop of their one song 100x in the last two weeks.

I’m almost done going through all the opened Chrome tabs I had on my phone and I’m aware this is a “normal to want possible to achieve” situation but still! There’s only one active one left!! I’m the queen of the world!!!

Well now that I know that Kill to Love ends THAT badly I gotta get back on that train.

Anyway I'm having a great time and I'm writing Revenged Love fanfic about it. ✌️

Fun fact: if you are one of those type A people who never learned how to not give a fuck about stuff, it turns out eventually some unhinged situation at work will force you to learn because the alternative is to throw a chair out of a window and this Steelcase cost too much money for me to do that.

Hot Yoga Teacher: As we begin, set your intention for your practice today. Me, Already Sweating And Near Death: I bet Suowei’s back is broken beyond repair from taking dick in child’s pose with zero core strength. #RevengedLove

I don't know what it says about me that my current most harrowing temptation to write #RevengedLove fanfic is driven by the fact that I foolishly believe that Chi Cheng is actually a competent operational manager and I'm annoyed it's so offhand and we get to see so little of his corporate strategy.

Oh my God. What if Necromancer Twink Special Interest Friend of My Dad texts me about #RevengedLove. Do I — just throw away my phone? Abandon this identity?

Welp I just the phrase “step snakes” #RevengedLove

Me, watching ep 5 of #RevengedLove: This is the most godless I’ve ever felt @waldorph.bsky.social: That’s not true I was with you when you watched KinnPorsche.

So many Chinese fujoshi screaming that of course Chinese people have to eat Chinese food it’s me. I’m Chinese fujoshi.

However much you think non Chinese audiences are losing their shit about #RevengedLove multiply that by a factor of like 100x for China.

Catching up on #ADreamWithinADream and watching Nan Heng have to plot his own assassination and then improv a save when they botch his assassination has the biggest only guy doing work on the ground project energy.

It’s almost as if there’s some correlation between not exercising and me being actively insane that I just can’t quite put my finger on.

Current mental illness status: opening both Naruto and Love In The Air fanfics on my phone 👍🏼

One of the weirdest adult experiences is when my trainer misses a session with me and I act like I class is letting out early instead of annoyed that a service I paid for is not being delivered because, and I cannot say this enough, my butt hurts so much every time after working out.

I’ve been thinking about this and the level of mobbing insanity that the guy playing the bad boy snake daddy in #RevengedLove is triggering is just another damning indictment of the critical top shortage.

Sorry not sorry to everyone at the pot luck today that I informed about the incest twins who write danmei.

And here is the promised #desire yuri twincest lore with screen grabs 💖💖

Enough of you have asked that I’m tagging @ofsevenseas.bsky.social here to explain the billionaire yuri twincest lore behind #desire, a series of words that should not ever be combined and yet here we are.

The howl I let out when a friend dropped this in the group chat.

Meanwhile I also made @waldorph.bsky.social watch the first episode of #RevengedLove with me and shocking no one you could see the moment her boner perked up when Chi Cheng threw a twink the wolves and then started physically bullying another one.

Anyway Hua Yong is my favorite and I think doing only very normal and socially acceptable things in his sweet and regular romance with CEO Sheng. #desire

If you have ever watched or read a story and was like "man, this is fine, but I wish that one of these characters was openly, aggressively sociopathic so that he can emotionally atomize this man and click train him like a dog," you too will enjoy #desire, a normal story about regular things

So like, finally defeating the KinnPorsche lore, we finally have yuri twincest breaking through the veil of Chinese censorship so that abo mpreg can save the day #desire

Okay for everyone who is curious about the lore, take it all with a grain of salt, but evidently the writers/producers of #Desire are a pair of billionaire twin sisters who are IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP WITH EACH OTHER and who based one of the show omegas on a cousin they then cast to play the part

Terrible news: Chinese ABO MPREG is legitimately good. I had to stop midway through ep 1 and make @waldorph.bsky.social come watch it with me because I was LOSING MY MIND. #desire

no ragrets not even one letter

I’m on episode 2 of #desire and this is officially the best television show ever made

Although based on the ✨lore✨ of this series maybe everybody involved is like “sure what’s some ABO MPREG when you already have meatspace yuri twincest in flight” if I didn’t already have fandom CTE from decades in the yaoi mills this would be my Waterloo #desire

Can you imagine being an actor and finally booking your first headline gig and then your family is like okay what is it??? And then you have to tell them you’re in ABO Desire (actual show name) #desire

I’m having PTSD flashbacks to the episode of Supernatural called “fan fiction” or something watching this which feels fair considering none of us would be in this hellhole if it weren’t for Jackles RPS on SPN_Blindfold. #desire

Nottingham University gets a shoutout in the ABO MPREG Chinese tv show congrats gang #desire

Omegaverse was a PLAGUE in this universe which feels right #desire

HA HA HA I JUST FULL BODY CRINGED AF THE FIRST PHEROMONE “SHOWER” SCENE. IM NOT GONNA SURVIVE THIS. #desire

This man’s secretary having to make a 32 page PPT about some random’s omega body count is a sobering reminder to me that my job could always be worse #desire

Like any good television, it opens with one of our main characters in a slutty silk robe standing in a round roof pool and then going downstairs to see a row of subby bitches kneeling for him. Normal. #desire

So apparently a Chinese ABO MPREG show just dropped three episodes today so guess what we are about to do. #desire

Apparently it's been four years since The Devil Judge first aired. Happy anniversary to the best TV show about fucked up hot rich daddies kidnapping beautiful soft-lipped twinks with murderous pedigrees and realizing he'd do anything to have said twink be on his side. 🥹

Trapped @waldorph.bsky.social in my home and showed her the first 2.25 episodes of The Devil Judge, and she’s FURIOUS with me and it makes me feel so powerful.

My response was, and I quote "the super ugly one"

Separately, heads up: I finally got around to locking down all of my stories on AO3. Probably too late to avoid any LLM scraping but it was overdue -- and apologies to anyone who runs into access hurdles as a result.

Found out one of my parents' friends asked them to ask me if I watched The Legend of Zhang Hai, better known as That Show With The Necromancer Twink From The Untamed and now I'm RIVEN with questions.

Impossible to explain the level of continuous betrayal committed against me by my hip flexors.

Me, caressing a copy of Whitley Strieber’s nightmare fuel cover of Communion, remembering my sweet fictional porn addicted psych masters grad from Oxford who once got fucked on a grave by a psycho femdom ex: I should call him (Mulder)

Blasting “Building a Mystery” and having full body impact flashbacks to being 12 years old belting out “a beautiful fucked up man” about Fox Mulder and realizing he remains my one true love and sole ongoing argument toward heterosexuality.

The best part about living in the DMV is that you take a Lyft to go to your allergist and your driver yells about habeus corpus and constitutional crises the whole time 👍🏼

Two people at my medispa told me I looked really nice today and in case this is some professional KPI they have to meet they’re DOING AMAZING because I would now die on a battlefield for this LaserAway.