Spent my evening building a flat-pack rotating bookcase. I categorically refuse to allow any empty space where books could be.

Bim Pepple ballon d'or

Even the Argyle TV team can't put any kind of positive spin on Hazard's moronic moment. This would be a hell of a time for a Joe Edwards moment, he hasn't scored yet this season... #pafc

"That's my job, innit"

I saw Dylan Moran perform in a sweaty 200-seat venue in the crappy Devon town I grew up in tonight and if you had told my stand up-obsessed teenage self that that would happen he'd have never believed you. So not *everything* is terrible. He's still got it.

Massive long shot but does anyone in #Plymouth know why the Book Cupboard on the barbican is currently closed? Really hoping it's just temporary and the owner's OK 🙏

In Catalonia, on St George's Day, people give each other books and roses. In England, we just do a bit of racism and/or argue about whether an historical figure was Turkish or Greek. Can't we do the first one instead, just this once? I think we'd like it.

The first time I saw The Fellowship of the Ring was on VHS

Didn't want promotion anyway, I hear Bromley's beautiful in January.

10 years since we lost Prince. Explains a lot about the last decade, actually... This remains the greatest gig I've ever been to, and it probably always will. youtu.be/lwbbhvdVzTk?...

This referee's another League One special isn't he

Galloway injured again. I will die on the hill that he could have been a solid Premier League defender if his body didn't let him down so badly so often. #pafc

We're Plymouth Argyle, we always score from corners #pafc

We all dream of a team of Malachis

Ten years ago I was reporting from the United Nations General Assembly Special Session in New York for a magazine (later a think tank) which, I have discovered today, appears to have shut down. The website has gone, along with everything I ever wrote for them. Feels shit honestly.

I've managed the first part but I really am going to need everyone to shut the hell up now. This is a place of learning.

I have no horse in the Premier League title race, but have weirdly had a soft spot for Nico O'Reilly since he scored 2 against Argyle. He's a hell of a player and showing it again.

Oh bloody hell Spurs, I was still hoping to visit The Best Stadium In The World ™️ in the Championship next season

That late Lincoln equaliser could be the most important goal of the day. Still need Stevenage to drop a couple more points and Argyle to win every game, but it's still just about conceivable. #pafc

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle... My grandad was always one of those slightly right-wing nationalist working class brits. Not keen on foreign food, a bit suspicious of brown people, but more a product of his time than he was cruel or unkind. Brexit, twitter and covid radicalised him.

Just so you all know I thought of and then forgot loads of brilliant and funny skeets whilst the server was down

I watched one of those classic Channel 4 "100 best films ever" trash things at 11 years old. Mum walked in during the Pulp Fiction segment when the narrator said "This film will be shown directly after this programme" and she said "oh that's a great film, you should watch it". 11 was too young, mum.

Mannequin Pussy on Tiny Desk!! With a string quartet??! This may be the best thing ever youtu.be/mA_fuhvOD64?...

This did not exactly go to plan. 18ish miles walked over 2 days, 1 extremely cold camp, 1 drenched tent, a lot of slogging and sinking through stinking bogs, closed shops, tearooms, and pubs, and 1 night in a Shepherd's hut and I'm home. To be continued...

Not only will I finally get to meet the brilliant Hungarian activists I worked with for years at the Rights Reporter Foundation (yes I was a Soros-funded foreign agent, thanks for asking) in June, I'll get to do it in a Budapest that has kicked out Orban. Oh happy days.

16 years ago a mate and I tried to walk the Two Moors Way in 4 days. After 2 I was covered in blisters, couldn't lift a pint to my face in Drewsteignton, and called it a day. Tomorrow me and Cooper are trying it again. I've given myself two weeks this time and have broken in my boots. Wish us luck.

At least I get to use this again.

Against any other team I might forgive that performance at this stage of the season with our injury list, and be happy to get away with a point. But to be that weak, out-fought and second to every ball *again* against City is unforgivable tbh. #pafc

No Bim in squad 😭

It's not quite what I hoped but I'll take "get into the playoff places and cement Exeter in the relegation zone". I am desperate for Tolaj and Bim to start and absolutely batter them. Desperate. #pafc

Cooper has a new toy (he kept injuring himself chasing a ball so this is a compromise) and I'd like to put on record that if him running around with it on his face like this ever doesn't make me laugh, that is indeed a cry for help.

www.maptap.gg April 10 92🏆 100🎯 96🔥 97🔥 98🎯 Final score: 969 I must find a way to monetise this apparent skill

Never thought I'd die fighting side by side with a Pope

Everyone talks about the day in your thirties when you wake up with an unquenchable thirst for bird knowledge, but not enough people warn you that you'll also become lactose intolerant and develop hayfever out of nowhere 🤧 🐦‍⬛

www.maptap.gg April 8 100🎯 87🎓 96🔥 99🎯 78✨ Final score: 910

My good friend Alex, in whose university bedroom I used to smoke weed and play Skate 2 instead of going to lectures, has his first photography book coming out next month. It's very good but - fair warning - does contain traces of Farage. Check it out: www.cesura.it/shop/shine-on/

Interviewer: Can you please explain this gap in your CV? Me: A senile orange pedophile threatened to end the world and I wanted to see some of it before it was gone.

The problem is that half of the US is willing to storm the capitol over non-existent voter fraud, and the other half won't even act when the President announces the time and place of his next genocide. Rise the fuck up.

www.maptap.gg April 7 92🏆 96🏅 74🌞 94🏅 98🔥 Final score: 912

A team of astronauts are currently travelling farther from the Earth than any human beings before them have ever been. They look set to arrive home just as the planet's most notorious pedophile blows us all up. We could have had Star Trek, but we chose Dr Strangelove instead. It's just so dumb.

I've booked a holiday during the playoffs so the trophy's as good as ours lads #pafc #onourway #yourewelcome

We'd done so surprisingly well without him that I'd forgotten just how good Tolaj is. Different class. #pafc

The picture quality on this stream is like watching Gazzetta Football Italia on Channel 4 on a Saturday morning in the mid nineties. Incidentally, Tolaj's assist for Oseni's opener there was prime Donadoni. Geddon and grazie mille. #pafc

Absolutely gutting for the portly balding Bristolian Busquets, and for Argyle's playoff dreams.

No Kane, no Pepple, no chance, surely? #pafc

Carragher in the same conversation as Totti, Puyol, and Maldini. English exceptionalism at its most absurd.

www.maptap.gg April 6 96🔥 89🎉 96🏅 95🏅 75🌞 Final score: 887

I really really loved this. It's a bit spooky and a bit silly, it made me laugh and it made me want to phone up all the friends whose bedrooms I spent my teenage years hanging out in and tell them I love them. Great stuff. Might go on a Weatherglass Books binge this month now.

Nvm I won't be needing this