saw obsession hours ago just realized I mistook andy richter for patton oswalt. been carrying this knowledge too long

the madden curse begins

the Indiana Bears 😭

accidentally bought mayo because I forgot I already had mayo :(

as pratt stays in second place for mayor, I am the squidward meme, envying nyc and zohran

need to be able to discuss Love Overboard with someone. a reality show secretly about class war.

executive function so bad I cleared my entire day to do laundry (didn’t get to it til 4pm)

just learned that yoko ono went to sarah lawrence

"I ask all of you to think of it, graduates and families alike, let yourself dream of a future in which we can harness this amazing new technology to eliminate entry-level jobs entirely. Indeed, that work has already begun, and that future is now." /college kid booing intensifies "Wow okay,"

New in GQ! I wrote about the Los Angeles run club that doubles as an ICE Patrol unit

San Diego should be condemned

just one day after mother’s day, and I’ve already seen father’s day content!

Met gala fashion trend I didn’t expect: floating hands and faceless wraiths caressing the celebrities

the devil wears prada 2’s entire plot revolves around the bleak state of journalism. depressingly, in both the bad and happy endings, only a billionaire can save the magazine

this is about Flora

Dentist scanned my teeth so I asked for the .stl

my dad’s complaining about “lego eggs.” he prefers fluffy eggs. only denny’s does fluffy eggs. everyone’s doing lego eggs

what a way for the nation to learn about the small state school I joined this year, cal state university dominguez hills

The amount of misinformation we’re getting about an incident that just occurred in front of 1,500 news reporters is truly the metaphor of our generation.

Stumbled upon the Goodyear Blimp Airship Base ???

Last night, after an hours-long public hearing, Monterey Park became the first city in California to pass an ordinance permanently banning data centers. The city council voted unanimously to declare data centers a public nuisance, and to "prohibit all data centers within city limits." My story:

sunk cost fallacy got me watching euphoria

sitting next to royalty at the ohare airport (a guy who works for milwaukee tool)

I think it’s time society accepts that cold foam is a failed experiment. It tastes good, but half sticks to the lid if you get your iced coffee to go. We either improve our foam technology, or we move on

I wish I had enough readers and subscribers to run a substack where I just attend niche conventions, conferences, and clubs and write about how fun and weird they are

love that chewy gives me promoted ads for every pet that's not a dog. they're trying to sell me cat toys, lizard food, horse bridles. do they even have my data or what

found a subscription I never canceled while doing my taxes. now feel like one of those dummies from a rocket money commercial.

love when linkedin suggests I send a connection request to a famous artist who wouldn’t give me the time of day

for Southwest Contemporary's issue on The Road, I wrote about the Office of Collecting and Design's transformation into a traveling museum

john flop kennedy jr

people talking about nebraska, iowa, illinois. this march madness is secretly a big 10 football season

I tripped down the MOCA steps and all the information desk workers saw me take a spill through the giant glass windows

cute guy flirting with me at bagel shop, but he’s also wearing a souvenir tee from a jam band music festival

teaching when you're broke expert mode: teaching an entire assignment in after effects, even though your personal computer is too old and slow to run the software and you cannot practice anything first

once again stunned to learn that much of Gen Z has never seen fight club

my neighbor moved away. they had a loud chihuahua that would always fight with Flora, even while both dogs were inside our apartments. now when we walk down the hall, Flora lunges towards the door to bark, but softly whines instead because she can’t smell her enemy. I find it unbelievably sad

limoncello might be the worst lacroix flavor I’ve ever had

only four paragraphs into the dinergoth thing and absolutely certain this person has mistaken a liberal city's suburbia for the entire country

just saw a kid’s tooth fly out in slow motion during march madness

rwo days in a row of stopping by an art opening, seeing no one I know, and leaving within five minutes

had to lurk twitter because I'm not seeing enough march madness shitposting on here :(

doing my silly little 40 and 30 mile commutes to work all over the Los Angeles county while gas prices surge and wwiii ramps up

we all agree that “dtf st.louis” is a fake tv show right

wow we are arriving at the exact situation every single person imagined within one second of seeing their first robot dog

heat wave confirmed: Flora is staying on the cold bathroom tile instead of begging for pretzels

not to be a hater, because the performance was good, but the key to telling them apart is wardrobe. the movie lost the one category I thought it most deserved!

are they rebooting moulin rouge

Wallace from the Wire has an Oscar 🥲

my boy pta finally winning the oscar he shoulda gotten for boogie nights