Me the instant it gets above 60 degrees outside.

Me on NF trying to keep the storyline together while he’s confusing us both about whether he’s talking about f*cking his current or ex-wife.

I’m so Type A that if I ever made a wishlist, the first thing on it would be a new vacuum. 😭😭

Roses are red, violets are blue… Your favorite purple people eater is waiting for you 💜

If you’re seeing this, you’re my valentine and I simply will not take no for an answer. 💕

If you missed last week’s full moon, I’ve got something you can still howl at.

Some of the highest praise I’ve ever received was having my nipples described as the blueprint.

Hello my curious cuties!! Just wanted to say that I am welcoming new connections starting later this month. Please go read over my tryst page and hopefully we can play together very very soon 💕

Duos will be steeply discounted: $1600 for 90 minutes (as opposed to $2200), $2200 for 2 hours, etc. My girlfriend is a cutie kinky switchy soft butch with a killer body. She’s funny as fuck and a total sweetheart (as well as an insatiable jackrabbit 😌)

Y’all mind if I park my dump truck here right quick?