sorry for some radio silence the last few days. this holiday just hit different with dad gone and new years already feels weird. Plus I've caught a cold of some kind that is causing me bad cough and congestion. I keep wanting to stream but I have just been having a rough time taking care of my mom.

Flying Battery (acts 1 and 2) Remix!! youtu.be/EM5sbOVXGmQ #furry #music #vgmix #remix #sonic #sonic3 #knuckles #flyingbattery #furrymusic #furrymusician

survived the first holiday, mom has a possible medicine mix-up as to why she was acting strange most of yesterday. Taking steps to make sure her meds are more controlled.

Today has... Been rough. Honestly I just want to... Fix everything.

Nightmares on Christmas, Hearing things constantly and fears causing panic. Can barely function for myself as everything I'm doing is to help my mom and clean up after my dad. I know I have friends and people that care for me but... I feel the worst kind of alone right now.

I think I'm having some kind of weird PTSD thing. I keep hearing thuds in the house. I keep thinking I keep hearing voices. I can't focus or I snap to any little sound in fear it's a problem I need to resolve or fix or pickup...

It's Christmas Eve!

All I want for Christmas; I am able to take care of my mom and it goes smoothly the rest of her life, That my streaming becomes something I can live off of, And that I finally get my drive back to be functional.

Home. Not Strep or COVID, but the flu test results were odd/Indeterminate so they took a culture sample to get tested. should get results in a day due to holiday. advised to treat it like flu and rest/fluids/use OTC flu meds for now.

I really hope I don't have Strep Throat... going to go get checked now.

Another step forward for the family. Now I just need to yell at my mom's Medicare to get her added for parts C and D so I can help her get the rest of the things she needs.

Now I'm hearing things, I'm having waking dreams where things are playing out and it's on loop. Please I just want it to stop.

farewell

It's the 25th anniversary of Phantasy Star Online's release in Japan today! On 21/12/2000, Japanese players could sail through SEGA space and embark on a sci-fantasy adventures in their global network RPG - online with others! Got some love for PSO and memories of playing it? Share them here <3

Have not been able to talk for a day, my throat feels like it's sore but also squeezed. Plus talking anything above a whisper feels like stress. Taking some HBP Day/Nyquil today to hopefully fight it off. Monday is Wheelchair pickup for my mom.

When my dad was alive, I was under a lot of stress via him. It almost got to a point where I wanted to go non verbal. But with him gone, that urge remains still. I don't know how else or why. Unless it's the stress of being my mom's caretaker now on top of dealing with historic things growing up.

Before I try and return to sleep, I saw this and can't wait to get the chance to rewatch reboot!

I'm feeling so lost and worn out. I don't know what to do or how to prepare for the loss of my mom. I am so stressed and my own body is hurting from it. This is not how I wanted life to take a turn like this.

Mi tinnitus is bad tonight/morning. Not sure if it is connected that I've been woken up roughly 90-120 minutes with needing to help my mom get to and from the restroom. But I know I also have a headache starting to build up from not getting enough sleep.

2 major debts paid off, I fell on ice and landed on my butt, and the wheelchair pickup is this Monday.

No sleep night, mom was too active and needed multiple escorts. Going to try and sleep till 9am when I need to walk dog and verify Mom's wheelchair pickup status.

Been awake most of tonight as my mom was having some small issues, but also storms kept upsetting my brother's dog. It has left me in this weird tired/asleep/awake state. And it's giving me weird half awake dreams that are both weirdly abstract but also make sense.

It also dawned on me tonight... Mom has lasted into the unknown time left part of her cancer based on things I found documented by my dad. It explains a ton about how rapidly after dad passed that she is deteriorating. I can only hope she makes it into 2026 as far as she can before...

This was one of the movies alongside Short Circuit that I would watch every year at my cousins house on thanksgiving night.

I'm sorry if all I post is a depressed garble since my dad passed away in October. To morn his death has been strange and a combination of sadness, frustration, and a few other emotions I don't know how to put into words. It almost feels like he is on one of his work trips that will never end.

Between the Dreams/Nightmares and now an increase of IRL daydreams and fears... I feel like I'm just having to drag myself thru the steps of making my mom comfortable as she has somewhat given up but still refuses to have proper assistance or cleaning up her area to help her.

Even not feeling well, I still have work to do. Scheduled a pickup for a wheel chair for my mom later this week.

So, I might have caught something. Today went from awake at 5am to stuck in bed with a migraine and chills. Was going to take my mom to get her photo id reissued, but she is not having a good day as well.

Nightmares and generally feeling uncomfortable just being alive. Can't sleep as every 1-2 hours mom is asking for help. How do I even function?

I hate that so many of the flexible online jobs I've found all use AI in some way or you work to train AI. I would honestly rather fail and die then reduce myself to doing work in any way for them.

Let's Talk... www.twitch.tv/MisterRoo

Passed out last night and slept thru my mom having a restroom incident. she was even yelling for me to come help and I just... was so asleep. I literally can't get more then an hour of sleep at a time as the timing is all random. I can't stream, I can't work, I can't help clean the house.

x.x between a house issue happening, passing out from stress, and my mom being extra active today so I had to help her around the house, my target plans for streaming are dashed.

I have only eaten a single banana today. I did take my meds. I just feel totally unable to function. I just want to have function again.

Today... feels impossible. I'm just... mentally and even physically unable to make progress. Everything just feels like sludge. There is not much I can seem to do even. I am sitting at my computer, even have everything ready to stream and I'm just... I can't focus. I can't even relax.

Heads Up, if you work or know of work that is 100% remote and allows for a flexible schedule while I'm being a caretaker for my mom; I am looking for employment at a fair rate for someone who has not been properly employed since 2016. Additional info in thread (cont)

Gah! I forgot to start this. Well, here we go. #happytrailshans

Maybe at some point I can be comfortable cuddling with someone again. But ehh, someday.

Last night/this morning has not been good.

Nightmares, 5am helping my mom so she does not fall, stress about future, it's not just a break... I'm just so very tired.

Currently waiting in an hour long line at the pharmacy, so please speak freely;

Got a letter yesterday confirming bad news. My SNAP assistance is ending as of this month because I don't meet it's new requirements. But it has left me with the chance to regain them if I can prove I'm the caretaker of my mom. How do I do that? No one in positions can tell me.

Tinnitus has started to ramp up more, mostly in my left ear. The high pitch electronic scree is the most common, but sometimes it's just a super high pitched long tone that gives me a headache for a few moments once it ends.

Also I'm down to 265lbs. Hope you are happy Dad. It took you dying and now my body is just dropping weight.

Waking up to two different nightmares is not how I want to start my day.

Just a reminder bump for this! I'm preparing to host another live CPU tournament on Smash Ultimate! We're taking applicants still right now, hoping to take on sixteen or more players, but only have two so far. So calling all #VTubers ! If you'd like to join feel free to check it out and sign up! =)

Finally some solid good news for my mom. It's not 100% but gods this has been so much paperwork.

Hi all, I'm in need of a bit of help so that I can continue to have health insurance, I really hate asking for money for free without giving anything in return so I am doing a marathon on my channel next week to help this! Starts December 8th, I'll be doing 6 hour streams!