Anxiety is the fact I'm scratching at hair bits around my eye lashes till the roots bleed. It's the pit in my stomach every time I sit down at the computer and feel overwhelmed. It's the fact I can't feel comfortable in my own body when I lay down.

Skies of Arcadia: Legends HD Remaster Or Phantasy Star 1-4 HD 2.5D Remakes

The difference of sleeping in a hotel bed vs my rigged up cot bed is leaving me lounging just to save up money just to spend random nights at a hotel till I can get a bed proper at home.

AC Recap will be typed up in a day or so as replies to this post. Mute this now if you don't want or care to hear about it. I will say AC was good but not great. Reconnected with a few, ran into a few surprises, but ended up not feeling well for the last day and a half of it.

Home from AC, tired but somewhat rested. streams to resume Tuesday evening. something chill or maybe back to Danganronpa

Looks like my Anthrocon is ending early as I now have a bad scratchy throat and I don't want to risk getting others ill. Going to be chilling in my hotel at the Wyndham today to make sure it's nothing worse.

It's time for Trouble Rooing

How to find me today and what badges I'm wearing.

Migrated over to the tabletop games area. Find me there!

Day 2, keeping cool.

Currently keeping cool in the tabletop game room. Teaching the game Hanabi or if interested, I can host games of werewolf/mafia

Time to walk in this heat, day 1 of Anthrocon proper for me.

Time for convention sleeps.

To all the furries attending @anthrocon.org, please be careful in the heat. Fursuiting is awesome, but not if it kills you. And remember! THE EMT WILL (<CUT>) YOU OUT OF THE SUIT.

Up early today, cleaning out the Van, finishing laundry and packing, then it's off to PGH for Anthrocon in the evening.

It's days of 100F+ that I wish I had my own private space so I didn't have to wear clothing and still had access to a shower to cool down.

IT IS TIME FOR TUESTRESM!! Commissions queue is currently empty, so I be drawing memes  https://www.twitch.tv/bmbrice

The whole reason I want my own roo model built from the ground up is just so I can finally learn how to do stuff like outfits and reactive face expressions better. That and not having broken thumbs like my current model has. Also how to properly have my leap motion be useful again.

today feels like a Sunday on repeat.

Posting this before AC real quick uwu Time for another chu raffle! Just in time for Chuly c: And if you're going to be at AC feel free to give a boop, maybe you'll turn into a chu in real life o: Follow,comment,like,share Give lots of thanks to @trevorfox.bsky.social <3 Details below!

I think I said this before but, I'll be at Anthrocon this weekend from the evening of the 2nd till the morning of the 6th. Who all else is going that I can meet up with or even offer to run games of Werewolf/Mafia for?

Play The Hayseed Knight (now 50% off!) store.steampowered.com/app/1332990/...

I think the more stress I deal with is just overloading me. My ideas are not something to trust? No, that's not right. No trust in myself when I'm over stressed and panic think? Maybe?

Also all this creative thinking is making me wish I had a more toon like partial suit of Androo to run around in at a future convention. My current roo suit is still in for repairs after last year.

Also now awake again due to some family stress... I won't go into details but I kind of have to be the bad guy and stop my mom from making reckless decisions.

So... What if we take the concept of a Protogen... and make one out of a Ram? Not RAM as in the computer parts, but a Ram Sheep? Someone has to have done this already? I need to find this idea followed thru. I want a Protogen style Ram Character? Like...

On that Note, sorry for not having enough Mana(Spoons) to stream as of late. I've been stuck in a sort of limbo anytime I sit at the computer. Be with friends inviting me to game or voice calls, I've just had such lost Mana Reserves socially and I've noticed I've easily become agitated.

Today has been a very low on spoons day... and frankly, I'm making a change in something. I know spoons is the universal term... but Mana just feels better for me to use in it's place. Regardless I'll still likely use the term spoons till it sticks to switch to Mana. it's silly but that's just me.

I'm a bit afraid to post anything about this for fear of worrying anyone, but I've thought about this a lot. Mom would have been dead in the water without me... and I chose not to have kids, adopted or otherwise. Kids shouldn't be an insurance policy for their elders anyway. (1/2)

anxiety is acting up again.

No more Doki, only Doka www.twitch.tv/aoivino #mewtuber #stremew

Had to run my mom to the ER due to strange foot numbness. Now the wait begins.

Well?

Can't sleep. Stressing over people and friendships I fear are lost. It's far too hot to sleep. I don't feel as if I'm a good enough person. I just want to not feel tossed aside or abandoned again. I don't think my meds are working any more.

This might seem odd, but I hope someday I can get invited to a convention hotel room party. Even if I don't go, it would be a nice feeling to have. This post sounded better in my sleep deprived head.

The Amazing Digital Circus (Series, 2023–2026)

I just wish I had more energy, or anyway to make my body stop hurting. I could do so much more, clean more, stream more.

fun fact: they found the original digital master tapes of all the Reboot episodes that we previously only had in VHS quality, refurbished the extremely rare and expensive tape machines required to play the masters, and are currently uploading them to youtube for free in 1080p! youtu.be/inKdUICLmXY

Oh, and I'll be at Anthrocon starting on the 2nd till the evening of the 5th. If anyone wants to meet up, have me host games of werewolf, or just want to chill and chat in the boardgame room, let me know. I unfortunately don't own blood on the clocktower so I have no way of running that.

Rough night, still having to deal with focus anxiety. Called my doctor to see what options I have. Starting to wonder if there is an alternative fix for this that is not meds. Hope my weekend next at AC is a stress break.

Anxiety is bad tonight.

Candid or one off photos intending to get a rise out of me are just wasted I feel. I'm not the best at reacting to them let alone if they send a specific message. I'm just that daft and oftentimes taking things the wrong way.

The last episode of The Amazing Digital Circus was super good and I highly recommend folks check out the series. It deals with some heavy and dark topics.

Ugh, only after I made one I saw this. Say No to AI slop code. Be mindful.

I weirdly feel like we'll get Red from some sort of dead ladybug/spider as a bossfight. Character - Little Red Slicing Hood - Taxiderby

Back with All The Mons Modpack! www.twitch.tv/MxAndroo

Post the best picture you have ever taken of your pet:

$40 sketch commissions are open again!!

tiny anxiety creature