www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXye... Western suburbs of Chicago reporting for duty #NoKings

Real ass people: AI just churns out derivative (by definition) plots that are often too on the nose. Also real ass people: variety.com/2024/film/ne...

I've clearly been talking a break from here because my life's been chaos. Be back soon though

Zoo Facts: Modern zoos are achieving breeding success rates over 80% for certain extremely difficult species. Greeneville is no exception. 4 out of our 5 HR employees now have children.

Baseball is the second most popular sport in America and yet trying to find a way to watch the Cubs in the last five years has felt like trying to find where the Rhode Island Dads Dodgeball Final is being aired.

I'd never used a full stick of chapstick before losing it. So I just lathered myself up head to toe in Burts Bees until it ran out. I'm going to go look for sledding hills to throw myself down.

(Thread) I wrestle with whether I'm OK with using AI or not. I do think the "ha ha ha look at how badly AI is messing up human movement" will run its course. But, the thing I'm working on now is a skit that I think is funny on its own merits, and I'm using AI to fill in some visuals.

Also immediate cardiac arrest

new gender neutral greeting just dropped

How David Attenborough hasn't just died of severe disappointment in us is beyond me

I was considering writing a song about what depression feels like, but then the Kars For Kids jingle came on in my car and I realized I couldn't top that.

I'm working on a new longer piece featuring Kristi Noem.

If you must hoist me, I'd prefer it not to be by my own petard.

I've never had a chat that was an unforgettable journey and now I feel cheated.

George R.R. Martin nervously peers over his shoulder as he signs into ChatGPT.

Breaking just now, #ThumbWars has discovered a third instance of a Peter Hegseth leak when he posted a Facebook poll asking for advice.

If purgatory is like a Starbucks drive thru, I don't like my chances

Target is underscoring their support for rolling back DEI by replacing their canine mascot Bullseye with a leashed white man.

Anyone ever find this account? @georgesantos.bsky.social It seems somewhat convincing that it's actually him. I guess we'll find out for sure over the next 7 years.

GOP women are actually doing a great job reversing the unfair body image that Barbie created. As they age, I think several women will be pleasantly surprised when their lips don't become overfed slugs and their faces aren't barely holding onto their skulls via a binder clip on the back of their head

The rule of threes suggests that we're about to find out Hegseth had a third group chat with all of Yemen in it.

I repeat...

I too think raping children is bad, take thousands of scientists seriously, and don't live in a palace. Where are my flowers? Question the height of the bar.

If you don't group chat it, have you REALLY launched an air strike?

Always reblog. Happy Easter!

“Department of Government Efficiency.”

I kissed the dirt and I liked it

‘Show Me Where You Make Autism!’ Shouts RFK Jr., Storming Sour Patch Kids Factory theonion.com/show-me...

Yeah yeah yeah...

As we roll into Easter, I thought it'd be appropriate to make a "He Gets Us" commercial for those that like to bend and twist the teachings of their religion to match their world view.

"The employee harassment training did not include the use of air strikes."

If we know anything about the GOP, it's that they don't admit wrongdoing, they double down. Our video affiliate, #Thumbwars was there for Linda McMahon's follow up press conference.

Every time I see this clip posted I crack up. I'm not a complicated person. This is the first time I've seen it with Playstation 1 graphics though.

Ah Khloe Kardashian. An enigma wrapped in a seaweed mask wrapped in a stroke.

He was taken down by a Subway foot long sub with chips and a drink.

Would smash and get eaten

Nearly all gun ranges have rectangular targets, putting Bongino at a particularly high risk for head shots, so this makes sense.

I don't even know what this one is but it was in my leftovers from the week and felt like it had to be out in the world.

Spring has sprung and love is in the air. Even for JD Vance.

Who wants to sit on Uncle Matt’s lap?

Donald Trump reassures everyone that everything is under control.

“About time someone dealt with these flightless sons-a-bitches.” —Marjorie Taylor Greene