Ngl, failing to sleep last night, giving up on sleep and starting work at half 4 ^was^ productive for a while. But now we’re at ‘flagging’

Testing a query on Copilot. It doesn’t like it if you quote it back to itself to show that it’s been an overly confident and deeply contradictory little bastard. I believe we’ve reached an impasse.

I know pollen is important and stuff but on behalf of my (and anyone else’s) eyes and sinuses, it would be nice if it were to fuck off into the sea.

Do need to nip to the shops at some point today for a couple of things. Or to put it in American terms ‘I’ll need me ma 9mm, ma 44, ma45, ma 12gauge ma 308 and ma big dumb pick up the size of a f’king warehouse’

Already too warm to be outside before 8am and some hard-of-thinker is posting ‘funny’ AI-memes on local BookFace about how 1976 was worse *eye starts twitching worse than Lom’s Chief Inspector Dreyfus…

Pleased to see BBC are broadcasting a news special for ‘Europe’s heat emergency’. Much less pleased that there’s a reason they need to.

“In tHe old DaYS we UsEd to cALl thIS SuMmeR!” Aye, well in the future you can call it ‘unnecessary heat death season… no we don’t fancy getting used to it thanks.

A cursory glance on here implies it’s properly neck-n-neck between the politico-journo-lads and the centrists for the ‘gaslighting shysters of the day’ prize. C’mon guys, few more hours to go… one of you must want to edge it?

A power cut? In this heat? Well there’s a good sign of network resilience for the future. Lolz etc.

The mess we are in just means we need to adopt a federal system of government like Belgium, now turning to the name… United States of Britain would obviously be silly, we don’t want to be the world’s USB. So… the obvious choice is Federal United Constitutional Kingdom

Good luck to anyone having to operate in what may be stupid temperatures and conditions this week. Take your meds and stay hydrated. Make good blood offerings to your Gods and pray we eventually get a Government that takes climate apocalypse seriously.

In the future, everyone will be British Prime Minister for 15 minutes.

Do one Bond Markets, do one.

Hmmm tonight I ^will^ watch The Fog?! #Fretty

This grass pollen can, and with the greatest respect etc etc etc… fuckety off to the end of time and never darken doors ever again. The powdery fly-away bastard.

Brilliant work by Phil and track staff to get meeting on. Old school flagging it too! #SGP

Just described something with such unwavering confidence to some tourists that I may as well classify myself as an LLM for the rest of the day.

Burnham is soooooo Kier2 he may as well just die his hair to match.

So we can now waste the next 18months fannying on with the great AI-Kier vs Provincial-Kier leadership fight? Grrrrrrrreat 🤦‍♂️

Worst CBeebies Bedtime Story announcement. Ever. Kids are crying etc etc…

Mature Cheddar. I don’t want to eat ‘dry’.

19.5hrs in and I’ve only just realised TNT Sports are running a multi view stream, from which you can choose main, onboards or helicam #LeMans

It's Le Mans weekend! We're offering big discounts on all our sportscar products, including prints, T-shirts, mugs and more at tinyurl.com/DPADShop #lm24 #lemans #lemans24 #wec

Top drawer stuff from Max Fricke. Round the boards all night 👍🏁 #SGP

Speedway Bluesky doesn’t appear to be a thing. Which is a shame cause heat 4 there was just a magnificent minute of sport. Also, Kacper Woryna 😍 #SGP

Mini Challenge proving the ‘youngsters’ + ‘single make’ = ‘cracking racing’ equation there 👍#BTCC

The only rules for public toilets need to be; flush it, leave the area clean and tidy and wash your hands. Any management on top of that just makes you look a bit weird* (*or in todays case, like a massive f’king bigotty bastard) 🏳️‍⚧️✊

Get in there Bulgaria! Fuck you Israel, you genocidal cunts #Eurovision

Did somebody say Delta? #eurovision

Radio 4 this morning discussing Israel’s dodgy Eurovision voting campaign… Justin Webb “…but have they done anything wrong?!” Errr yeah Justin, carrying out a fucking genocide. Do keep up.

That Starmer speech was absolute horses.

F’kin right old Del Boy…

Older American couple sauntering around town “…I like that, that can be our new word… ‘numpty’…” There is hope.

Ignore that it’s 40mins. And it’s about guitar effects pedals. It’s really just a guy who knows his field ripping the shit out of chatgpt and showing that chatgpt / llms shouldn’t be relied upon, especially for research… youtu.be/0QynkC5HpcI?...

Sad news. I mean, he should’ve already died twice already but still…Genuinely one of the greatest, most inspirational people, let alone sportspersons. RIP Alex x www.bbc.co.uk/sport/formul...

I couldn’t even narrow down my top 10 Guided By Voices songs let alone begin considering everything else…

Still recovering from this morning’s commute when Radio 4 managed to submit the holy trinity of sultry tones of Mason, Robinson and Farage in less than 1 minute. Nobody needs to start a day like that.

@chrislhayes.bsky.social ICYMI, a piece that reminded me of Twilight Of The Elites, for obvious reasons. "a world with universal basic income is more meritocratic than a world without one" www.scottsantens.com/the-angine-d...

Scatman John covering Ministry’s ‘Jesus built my hotrod’

Film you've watched more than six times with a gif. (Both an image of me thinking about these things… and image of the movie…)

An unexpected American reboot of ‘Rita, Sue and Bob too’ Scene shown where everyone is dancing to Black Lace on stage performing “We’re having a gang bang”

Say you’ve never experienced a normal job without saying the words ‘I’ve never experienced a normal job’ etc etc etc

Happy ‘avoid the pub’ day.

Confused, mind bruised, it seeps out It seeps out, it seeps out Face down, home town looks so grey So grey, so grey Convexed, you bend, twist and shout And shout, and shout Stand up, brush off, get moving Get moving, get moving What's that coming over the hill? Is it a monster? Is it a monster?

Can’t post any awful takes if you can’t post anything at all. (Yes I know this is an awful take… but you can’t see it. And even if you could you couldn’t respond…) etc etc etc…

Really selling this vibecoded AI future for us all.

You could edit this ridiculousness into Kids In The Hall’s ‘Girl drink drunk’… and it’d work.

The distance will now be known as a Koch-Length.

If you’re in the Washington area tomorrow, don’t forget to pop down to the White House and cheer on the Easter festivities by chanting “Donald Trump’s egg hunt” all day.

Finally got my palms read by the old clairvoyant on the quayside. Far too worryingly accurate. Calming pint.