I guarantee you’re not ready

i’m not mad. i’m actually dancing.

dick cheney should’ve lived a day longer to die mad

live view from cuomo hq

I’m with the Black Lodge.

wrapped in plastic

guys, none of these dogs want to wear that

She’s dead

goth girl in cat ears at 7am 🫡

If you'd like to keep Spooky Season going, I'm giving a talk on Nov. 2 about the theatrical erotic exorcism of nuns in 17th century France, the priests that were burnt alive, and the reason the case in Loudun still fascinates people.

I haven’t had this much fun since we, as a people, decided Trump died

saw some giant skeletons today and, much like cows, trains, schnauzers, etc., don’t think they’ll ever get old and I’ll forever excitedly point them out

Last minute Home Depot costume: the Laura Palmer special

every day something happens that makes me feel like I got kicked in the head by a mule

ha ha we can’t run for office now, said my roommates and i throwing back jello shots in slutty tops at 19. turns out that is totally fine.

I knew some guys who got drunk and got tattoos in vegas. they all got little hearts that said “beer buddies” on their ass. Their wives were so mad they started a group chat with each other.

I knew some guys who got drunk and got tattoos in vegas. they all got little hearts that said “beer buddies” on their ass. Their wives were so mad they started a group chat with each other.

this is literally regional theatre but we work 9am to 11pm.

modifying your car to make it louder is a weird antisocial thing to do

a mom saw a teenager in an eagles shirt and yelled “go birds fuck ice” and he fist bumped her

3 kinds of dogs at protests: loves it here hates it here feds

no early decision but he’s got some fallback schools

oh hey wassup Glen

OPSEC is clean

Every inflatable costume is sold out at the local Target and the trending searches are, well…

the idea of being in an inflatable is appealing as an introvert

Writing a thing about Salem (again) & just to reiterate a thing I once said in a Monster of the Month talk: 50-90% of what we call the paranormal—from witchcraft to ghosts to what-have-you—can be explained by the fact that patriarchal cultures despise teenage girls & have no idea what to do w/them.

Caterpillar waking up halfway through metamorphosis: I'm goo. Shit. Shit. Calm down. Go back to sleep. I'm really straight-up goo right now. Fuck

every time i hear someone honking excitedly i log on to see if it happened

if you’re an alum, tell the how you feel if you’re a student, tell them how you feel if your kid’s a student, tell them how you feel if you’re a vendor, tell them how you feel if you’re an athletics fan, tell them how you feel if you use their hospitals, tell them how you feel

my father-in-law is a “I know a guy” Guy. sadly all the old Guys are aging out of the Guy Economy. Guys are fundamentally incompatible with Hustle Culture because it’s not about “winning” a deal, it’s about collecting favors and goodwill in a mutually-beneficial cycle. protect your local Guy Economy

every day is a good day to go to an event or buy cool stuff from Relative Arts NYC

Shared courtesy of my Penn History colleague, Ben Nathans

smashed up mashed potato looking ass pixels

The history books having to explain cartoon frog = fascist, inflatable frog = anti-fascist…

I don’t know why Krasznahorkai winning caused every 38-42 year old writer to crash out on the timeline but Taylor should’ve put out a better album because you all are going through it.

“Use ai to teach critical thinking because ai can’t think critically and is bad for critical thinking so it’s the perfect thing to think critically about!” ok, or hear me out, what if I used my course subject.

I have never been more convinced of the power of theatre

huffing paint on the bus is antisocial but less antisocial than the guy who played a saxophone.

I did not fuck up but an incredibly good feature would be to locking text threads so there is zero way you text the wrong person

you gotta know when to hold em, when to fold em and when to hire a crisis pr team

YO IT’S A CULT FOR REAL

this MLM having a convention a block away and the street is overrun with women who look EXACTLY like this wearing the leaf crowns. HBO doc drops when

I am logging off and going to the mole festival in Grand Park which is the kind of thing that makes LA great.

@colindickey.com curated 50 minutes of wall-to-wall, perfectly ordered Lionel Richie bangers. That’s right. It’s Lionel Richie Time.