EXCITING NEWS: The government shutdown will not prevent me from having my first author event! 📕 #books #HilariousBooks #TaxDollars wordsworthbookstore.com/event/2025-1...

My great-great-great-grandfather, James Kearney Taaffe was born on this day in 1830. He hated tariffs, but he would’ve freaking loved my books. #GroovyBooks

Time to get ready for football season. 🏈 PurpleHullPress.com #booksky

Time to get ready for football season. 🏈 PurpleHullPress.com

With the release of my third book,📕I’d like to thank my literary team: 💥 Author— me 💥 Editor— me 💥 Agent— me 💥 Exec. Asst— me 💥 Marketing— N/A 💥 Research— me 💥 Legal— me 🙏 Thanks to all of you heroes.

Thule’s newest book is now available at PurpleHullPress.com

My social media posts are like my novels. 📕📕 Incredibly clever, yet lightly read. #Authors #BannedBooks PurpleHullPress.com

A whopping 76 percent oppose significant cuts to Medicaid. The tax bill that Republicans ultimately pass — public opinion be damned — will make life more difficult for millions of low-income Americans. Here’s everything you need to know ⤵️

Big news for Pulaski County politics: Wendell Griffen, the retired circuit judge and vocal activist for progressive causes, will run for Pulaski County judge in 2026. He'll challenge incumbent Barry Hyde, who said he's running for a 5th term in 2026. arktimes.com/arkansas-blo...

Let me get this straight, the US govt is rewarding Syria and punishing Harvard? #Yikes #Whoa

If you take a couple of hours to read my books, you’ll be just as dismayed as I am that they did not win Pulitzer Prizes.

I don’t think autism is preventable, but ignorance is.

I’m considering withholding billions of dollars from Harvard unless they start saying good things about my books. #books #billions

Readers: It’s OFFICIAL— no animals were injured in the making of my books. Not only are the books at PurpleHullPress.com hilarious, they are also vegan-friendly! #WritingCommunity #readers #booksky

📕 SALES NEWS: The # of 📕 📕 I’ve sold is now officially HIGHER than the # of moons around Saturn; but is still LOWER than the # of Americans with measles. #funnybooks #books #Vax&Read PurpleHullPress.com

“Trout couldn't tell one politician from another one. They were all formlessly enthusiastic chimpanzees to him. He wrote a story one time about an optimistic chimpanzee who became President of the United States.”

YIKES! 😬 The president’s tariff on Heard and McDonald Islands is gonna hurt my sales. I fear that none of the readers in the HAM islands will get the chance to read my awesome books 📕 #books #HAMislands #stephenking

In this mad, absurd, and raving world, I find Vonnegut a writer appropriate for our times. I wasn’t particularly a fan when I was younger, but I now find myself reading more and more of him.

💡HUGE NEWS-- Since I have no marketing strategy, I’m now asking national security officials to include excerpts from my books when they send top-secret, classified messages. That will expose my books to MILLIONS of people all over the world!📕 PurpleHullPress.com #books #marketing

One of my readers said my book made her laugh so hard she spit up some omelette. 🍳 I told her she has nothing to complain about if she’s wealthy enough to buy eggs. #eggcellent #booksky

When a tornado damages the local Rebel statue, it creates hilarious turmoil in a town down south. My second book is now available at PurpleHullPress.com

Somewhere, Jeff Bezos is angrily clicking “track shipment” to see what happened to his new editorial page.

“There I was in late middle age, cut loose in a thoroughly looted, bankrupt nation whose assets had been sold off to foreigners, a nation swamped by unchecked plagues and superstition and illiteracy and hypnotic TV, with virtually no health services for the poor. Where to go? What to do?” (HP 1990)

Attention Authors: I’ve created the Department Of Publishing Efficiency (DOPE) to help with my book sales. 💵 I think DOPE is going to be great for me. #Writers #WritingCommunity #DOPE

IMPORTANT NEWS: I have rejected DOGE’s demand that I resign from my position as a part-time author of hilarious novels. #booksky

Bad News: USAID will no longer be sending my books to people in other countries. Good News: Since the CFPB has been dismantled, I can start scamming consumers!

I believe in honesty and the U.S. Constitution. (I’m only saying this because if I ever decide to run for office, someone will find this message and realize that I’m unqualified to serve).

NOTICE— I am considering imposing a tariff on any consumers who do not purchase a copy of the book, “Milk and Catfish.”

Attention Agents— if you wish to contact me, your queries must be compliant with the rules governing legal briefs submitted to the US 8th Circuit Court of Appeals. Otherwise, they will be summarily rejected. #ThankYou #WritingCommunity

Instead of getting authors or celebs to review my first novel, I’ve decided to get comments from the people who matter the most— the characters. “If you could actually measure the height of a tall tale, this ‘un would reach higher than a skyscraper.” —John D. Dalrymple

Milk and Catfish. The funniest political satire of 2024