buying pants is very brave

this long distance shit easy *turns into 10,000 marbles*

that’s my secret cap. im always on the bus

taking ubers makes me feel like bryce dallas howard in black mirror

i actually have the most perfect cats im so lucky

if you try to instacart 60 lbs. of strawberries from a small grocery store i think you should be killed

her: you better not be cunty pathfinder gnome when i get there me:

my brother acting like i don’t know the guy chung lore 🙄

had a dream that i told tyler joseph i thought drag path was by a woman (true) and then i told him a joke that was so funny i irl laughed myself awake (but i don’t remember what the joke was) this has been another certified emily post

and then there’s grief

we actually don’t need to have a visceral fear reaction to taking out the garbage. it’s ok

the voices are telling me to rewatch breaking bad

it’s been a long time but i believe i am having a hashtag min yoongi monday

When someone describes themselves as Chaotic, dude you just know that they are on some funny ass crap

society if the multiple buses on the same route parked at uni station indicated to passengers in any way which of them would be leaving first

customers love to do insane shit and claim employees have “humiliated” them when they correct the behaviour

4011 3112 (a little joke for my fellow despicable me fans who work at the grocery store)

jelly top better turn out gorgeous because it is really not a fun knit

at work after eating the stew that poisons you #customerservice

shoutout bacteria

Millie Bobby Brown if she was an illiterate gay guy: “you are like popper”

S. J. W. Bush

i would be okay with never seeing kieran culkin in anything else

Me: Idk much about her, but it would be cool of her to make a reflective, self-referential album about her perpetually heartbroken era coming to an end and what that means for her art Taylor Swift: When you come for me, my beau will give you a swirlie, Haters hate to see a frickin wifed-up girlie

really challenging to keep to my ethical principle of not photographing strangers in public when the woman in front of me on the train is carrying a two-foot tall batman action figure as if it were an infant

please do not fucking bring this into my life

she goes triple platinum every day at my place of work

"is this a separatist safeway"

everybody has to buy fucking hotdogs and hamburgers to celebrate our genocidcal state or they’ll fucking day

ets is always inventing new ways to fuck me

my parents genuinely harassing me because i haven’t replied to their birthday messages by 11 am

people complain about a lack of sober queer spaces yet they never come to hang out in our dirt crawlspace

trying to remember the last time i had chick-fil-a and it was 19 years ago 👵

say what you will about the buckingham but where else are you gonna hear von dutch and chop suey in the same night

taking myself to costco to buy a single rotisserie chicken, no car and it’s 22 degrees

it’s upsetting how often i reference this video because it’s literally how i talk about movies

ooooh im a lucky girl :-))

imagine a day in my mind

just realized im out in public wearing my stupid yoda shirt and my lanyard sticking out of my pocket is also star wars themed. im sending the wrong messages to the world

they’re calling her the most slightly above average student of all time

lowkey beautiful to be in a relationship where both of us cook

if you see me liking boomer posts from my discover feed mind your business

kingsway mall wonyoung ad give me strength….

crying in front of my coworkers womp womp

fort road is a beautiful street where the speed limit is 50 but people will tailgate you so close you can’t see their headlights if you go less than 70 (in the farthest right lane btw)

when will they invent a face sunscreen that my body doesn’t instantly reject and sweat off

plantasia’s incredible eating adventure - micheal (he meant little shop of horrors)

got got by the sour cream scammer 😔