Skinamarink prefigured the "which bed are you napping in the hardest" tik tok genre, with the uncanny rooms and a tv that's always playing Tom & Jerry

I do think it's plausible that a total fucking dipshit would accidentally get a Nazi tattoo, but I wouldn't vote for a guy like that either

The guy who wrote The Time Machine (2002) was a real time traveler who was trying to warn us about the Eloi and Morlocks. That's why it has all that stuff that wasn't in the book

"Yeah, so then I was chasing this child, and I tripped and scraped my face on the pavement for a full second. Yes, one thousand milliseconds"

What the fuck even is the point of a sexual chatbot? "Computer, tell me about your boobs." Yeah, no thanks

Gonna write a Hunger Games fanfic that's a one-to-one retelling except Katniss eats everyone she kills

Always on the lookout for this guy

Geologist, looking at basalt: "The lava is floor!"

Hard at work on a project that will disrupt Hollywood and the film industry writ large: a version of Tilly Norwood with 15% bigger boobs

An AI actor I invented. If you want to put him in your movie you have to pay me $1 million #donotsteal

Rivian has gotta be the car company that sounds the most like a sex toy

This is why we fund scientists to study things like oyster slobber even if you don’t think it sounds important

Gonna raise my kids in a Dogtooth-style scenario where there's no Pokémon games after Gen III

So sad to see

Saw the Magavan the other night. What a specimen!

Getting into hip hop recently... 🎵You can Venmo this / or you can Venmo that / you can Venmo this / or you can Venmo that 🎵

Mfw the path to my fixed purpose is laid with iron rails, whereon my soul is grooved to run

guys, we have a tone shift

"This is the excuse they'll use to _____!!!" An anchor on the largest news network in the country was calling for mass "involuntary lethal injection" of mentally ill people *this morning* If Kirk getting shot is the reason you're just now taking this seriously, that says a lot about you.

These are the people who raised over a million dollars for Kyle Rittenhouses legal defense, legalized running over protestors, encouraged bathroom vigilantes, demand that children get genital inspections to participate in sports, and kill pregnant women, I don't want to hear about political violence

A fella can't even devote his entire life to making the world a worse place without getting shot in the neck these days...

I sincerely hope Newsom's weird fans and liberals at large are starting to understand why you can't budge a single solitary inch on a single solitary issue for a single solitary marginalized group.

Everyone always asks what spoke Zarathustra and never how felt Zarathustra 🫤

People debating the theological merits of this are really missing the point that this is the funniest thing Trump had said or done this year

Every day discovering new minor annoyances with technology. Android arbitrarily zooms in on images when you set them as a wallpaper? No way to undo this

liberals can’t even handle anyone to their left criticizing democrats like pete buttigieg and gavin newsom 3 years before the presidential primary about how they have shifted right on trans issues and homeless policies. when is the right time to criticize them????

It's only a matter of time before Brazil develops metallic archaea #mgsv

Reading A Clockwork Orange. Didn't know where the title comes from. Turns out it stands for "Alex Clockwork Orange," the main character

Saw this sign in a bathroom in Raleigh

Numbering three is low-key billy goated when being gruff is the vibe

When the airbnb is fully-equipped:

The virgin "emoting on my corpse in Fortnite," vs the Chad "I'm already in a new game having fun again"

Ah, okay

Unrelated to the original post, but I never realized how much Ella Emhoff looks like competitive Smash Bros. player Wizzrobe

How do you make someone look short on a billboard?

Forget it, Jake, it's Tree Town

Dreamt that my head got run over and my skull cracked in half, and I was wearing the top half of my skull like a hat. Stay safe, folks!

I promised myself if I ever see one of those freaky robot dogs, I will kick it over. When I do, I will have passed the test and may diminish and go into the West

🎵 Hi, my name is *chicka chicka* Shade Slimmy 🎵

Playing Pokémon TCG Pocket and discovering all kinds of Pokémon I've never heard of. This one is called Guzzlord and has an attack called "Tyrannical Hole"

old enough to remember the breathless litigation over whether or not it was credible that the IDF may have possibly bombed 1 (one) hospital

Dreamt that I was the Eraserhead baby, and the homeless guy from Mulholland Drive was after me. Way too scary, and I'm not even into David Lynch

Hearing reports the Pope said he was "very close to making Pokémon real." I suspect foul play

Everyone needs a gimmick, I guess

I owed taxes this year, and my girlfriend got a refund. I could have saved the IRS time and money by just giving her some cash instead of filing

This is probably a nice video, I dunno, I didn't watch it

Growing up in a subdivision was cool because you could go to your friend's house and it was just a mirror image of your house

Some are saying it's hypocritical to primary Schakowsky (80) and not Bernie Sanders (83). Bernie *should* retire! He should endorse a successor. He can even still do rallies

Left the group chat after they changed my name to "Gouthis" (unfortunate typo), and they replaced me with the Atlantic guy?! #fakefriends

Ah, well, nevertheless... #HamdanBallal #NoOtherLand