to whomever introduced my son to Baha Men..I hope they step on legos. barefoot.

lol heyward is a big fat baby back bitch

Come on Citay 🩵 ☀️

After the fight in the Sabres game Matt decided to show the lad Rob ray fight highlights where he takes his jersey off

Baaaaaabbee can we put our tree up now @mrrenn.bsky.social ?

Tropical storm melissa is a fugly slut and needs to fuckoff bc I'm goin to Jamaica Thursday

Would have liked to watch the game on masons shitty tablet but SOMEONE took the hotspot capability to the bar. I suppose I'll read my silly dragon book by candlelight

*ronnie voice* The ravens suck dick yo 😭

Once more time, HOUSE DIVIDED

I don’t think a CIA interrogator could get any info out of my son about his first two days of kindergarten

I would die for KJ Hamler

👉🏻👌🏻

I win 😎

it's 100 degrees this is the fit

I'm attending No Kings's event, “Relay for Democracy: Honoring Our Flag from Border to Border - Colchester, VT” - sign up now to join me! www.mobilize.us/mobilize/eve...

This but for @missyrenn.bsky.social and me I suppose

My tummy hurts so bad from eating too many hotdogs but I'm being brave about it

Not this dad in the car next to me with tswift "lover" at max vol . respect

Repent

"Please don't put guacamole on my foot" is a sentence I just had to say.

My fav niche internet valentine is this one the Baltimore sun put out years back, specifically crafted for me and @missyrenn.bsky.social

quite literally nothing hits harder than a Danny's favorite from wegs

My girlies making Christmas cookies with their moms: don't forget to check the expiration dates on some ingredients she "thinks she already has" big yikes

like 8:15 is soooo late why can't mnf be like.. 6:30 or 7 idk something reasonable

Mason found this at school and wanted to bring it home because it had the Celtics on it

My favorite Christmas song? Easy. 'Merry Spidey Christmas' by THE one and only Patrick Stump

deadass this little boy really called me in his room after putting him to bed for the 5th time to ask me how to say hockey in Spanish

Football Foods Day: "Hot dogs with covers on" by mom Guac by Mason Taco dip by dad Old bay & Garlic parm wings by dad 👍🏻

You guys ! Justin Tucker made an extra point!! 🥲🙏🏻

I find the purple ravens uniforms — quite frankly — erotic

Imagine being mad at me and I'm just over here playing pga 2k23 for hours

If you don't say "oh god" Everytime you sit down did you even really back squat? big quads much ouch

Every Netflix doc is about how people are bad and cops aren't helpful. I still be watchin tho

Yo mason really called me into his room to tell me to take out his water cup just so that he could yell for me to bring him his water cup

"Can we please play some sports and watch basketball because I like the squeaking" lol

Pretty beat that I have to create an account to see my wordle stats now but ok. Happy Monday

Matt asked what mase wanted to watch on his tablet and he said the talking heads concert lol ❤️

more like dragon ball sheesh

"I can't have a lot of treats because I need to eat food that makes me strong like Haaland" 🩵

Not Matt taking work calls and sipping nooners on a snow day lol

Something thrillingly sinister about loading a bunch of shit into your storage unit after dark even if it’s just Christmas stuff

FaceTimeing my mom in her office that has my stepdads creepy taxidermy behind her it's very distracting. It's funnier too bc my mom is a vegetarian for animal reasons lmaooo

❤️go bills baby 💙

Mason took off his shirt (city jerz) at the bowling alley whilst celebrating his spare. Smdh We really gotta limit him watching pro footy

"What's this song mommy?" It's called 34 + 35 by Ariana Grande. "Oh. I like this song." 🫡

Mason keeps asking if Matt is with his friend "Mascot" and after the 4th time I realized that he means @prescottrossi.bsky.social lol ❤️

Raided the closet