Coming Soon to stores everywhere! New collab between WoodRocket and Magic Wand! Ask your favorite stores if they’ve ordered them yet! #pins #earrings #magicwand #woodrocket

Happy Afternoon Nap Day to all that celebrate.

I think it would have been really neat if Jay-Z’s Hard Knock Life was just a rap retelling of Annie the musical. 🎶 “Hi my name is Annie”, I live in an orphanage. “We love you Miss Hannigan”, No we don’t. She’s a bitch. 🎶

Life Update: I’m now making dick jokes. Always was. But also now. Still.

As someone with heavy anxiety, I’m often looking for a calm and relaxing and positive show to watch or rewatch. If your brain needs a break from the stress of these insane times, here are some suggestions. Feel free to add more suggestions in the comments.

Feels weird to never have won a dick-shaped Porn Award before.

"Our industry is not a monolith, politically or otherwise, but to most outsiders, we are the same. And we are a target." Read this, read all the way down to the bottom, and then get involved. @fsc.bsky.social relies on our support to protect the industry and its workers. Are we ready for 2025?

Porn Parody: Nosferatits

#happynewyear #woodrocket

CAN’T👏GET👏THE👏 FUCKING 👏SONG👏DO👏THEY👏KNOW👏IT’S👏CHRISTMAS?👏OUT👏OF👏MY👏FUCKING👏HEAD👏

Remember when Apple put a U2 album on everyone’s phone and everyone freaked out because they got a free U2 album.

New LoFi Bear gang member. Thanks @lukechueh.bsky.social #vinyltoys #lukechueh #designertoys #lowfidelity

My wife is away so I bought TWO bags of Trader Joe’s curly lentil snacks! Hahahahaha. When the cat is away…!

The title for the Porn Parody of Wicked writes itself: “Dicked”

Also, please note that no matter how many insane SpongeKnob SquareNuts costumes are on a set, and no matter how many boobs and butts surround you and no matter how many best friends you work with: If you work too hard, even the weirdest funnest job in the world can burn you out.

the real boobs and butts are the friends we made along the way

The thing I miss most about directing parodies isn’t seeing all of the boobs and butts, but all of the time I got to hang out with my best buds on set in a very surreal situation, catching up and laughing and talking about all of the boobs and butts.

I had always considered the possibility of directing parodies again, IF I ever feel like I want to again. But the whole Project 2025 threat of jailing pornographers puts that possibility in doubt. Sorry for anyone waiting on the release of Kraven the Cunter.

All of my condiments are sugar-free, with one new exception. Merry fucking Christmas to me.

Tomorrow I’m going on a tour of a lube factory. So I got that going for me.

Our apartment’s Cat Activity Center looks extra festive and cool as fuck thanks to my wife. #cats #holidays

Just got an email from a new porn performer agency telling me that they charge their performers 50% (I don’t know why they told me this) and that we should consider booking porn performers through them. If this is your agency I think you should consider leaving them.

If you owned a pill factory a good prank would be to make the pills bigger and sharper.

I did Dallas. While doing there, I saw this amazing Ron English mural. Pretty fucking cool.

My hotel room is decorated like a Marriott Laser Tag arena.

Lyft driver just said “Nothing easy comes good”. She would change her mind if she met some of the people I know.

December is the time for decorating trees and also for smoking them. Add some fun to your holiday party with a set of our Stoner Party Dice for adults!

In Texas doing a thing. #cannify #woodrocket @woodrocket.bsky.social

A lot of people keep asking why this is now back to the normal price of $2.99, but the Die Hard oral history will always be free to download . . . in our hearts.

I was having a terrible year. But now I’m at LAX. Don’t ever think that things can’t get worse.

My sleepy little Laker. #cat #yawningcat #roadhousethecat

New collab between Magic Wand and @woodrocket.bsky.social coming soon!

If I was a defense lawyer I would constantly be thinking why does the prosecutor keep arguing with me why do they hate me?

Sometimes I have an idea for a porn parody that pushes me to immediately book a therapy appointment.

Is it weird to bring a sex toy as a White Elephant gift to a Christmas party if none of my family will be attending?

It's all good, from Diego to the Bay, Your city is the bomb if your city makin pay.

We're starting Black Friday a week early this year, and from now until December 1st, save 20% on everything in my Bigcartel store! No discount code - your discount is now automatically added to your order! AND, there's a brand new set of Devil Girl stickers! theartofcoop.bigcartel.com/products

A Good Day to (Promote) Die Hard™

Everything in my Etsy is 25% off (USA Only) until next Monday. If there is something you don’t see in the store or have any questions, just hit me up here. Click here: www.etsy.com/shop/RobIsrael

I am thankful for the beautiful sign hanging on my couchroom wall, not just reminding me to live and to laugh, but also to love.

I’m thankful for those little fucking multicolor ball sprinkles.

As a film buff (as you can tell by my many cinema awards in the photo), I was stoked to read this book “You Talkin’ To Me” by @brianabrams.bsky.social. Super fucking good! I give it 10 out of 10 dildos!

I make Art (Awesome rectal toys).

Time to break out the long sleeve shorts again.

Currently in Ohio celebrating terrible weather.

In preparation for Project 2025 I’m gonna only make porn with just the dialogue as a big yellow dick shaped middle finger.

The 1980’s was full of singers with the uncoolest names: -Howard -Bruce -Phil -Lionel -George -Depeche