"Going to Burbank is basically like leaving town." - @gohstprncss.bsky.social

I didn't just take a shit today, I had a monumental bowel movement that exceed all the KPIs I had established with my team when we ordered Chipotle for lunch. - Typical LinkedIn post

Klay Thompson is dumb for cheating but just imagine having that level of ego & self-confidence. I'd be fucking unstoppable.

I will never rate my purchase unless it's an absolute piece of shit or the most magical item to exist.

if you wear a jacket over your shoulders as part of your outfit you deserve the guillotine.

Some people who work completely remote forget how easy it is to just not include them in documents or messages. Be nice to your coworkers that are in office.

This is the only landing you're allowed to clap after. #splashdown

Everyday good Americans will say "He's not with us" until one day we can all say "He's no longer with us."

Nothing kills motivation more than when you remember something and try to bring it up, but then it just creates a shitstorm for no reason.

Watching streams of Crimson Desert and the inventory system is terrible. It's made me think of great inventories for games with a lot of items. I think New World had the best one. Weight based, clean sections, and sorting.

WTF am I getting ads for! WHY ARE THERE ADS FOR THIS!

The Colt .45 1911 may be of an older design but the mouth feel is perfect for a modern sensibility.

Do you think they did Scared Straight sessions at Arkham Asylum?

I am just a living machine that turns Slack messages into emails. Then I turn emails into Slack messages. I don't have independent thoughts. nothing matters.

Having to work with someone who graduated from USC, has kids and chooses to live in San Diego is like the trifecta of "I'm gonna dislike you no matter what."

The best work days are when I'm working from home and just outload shit talk everything.

What am I supposed to do with this information? Trip sit?

BREAKING: The Department of Education has ended its directive that attempted to restrict diversity, equity, and inclusion efforts in schools nationwide. This is a victory for academic freedom and education equity.

Before you're allowed to make any political statement I NEED to know your thoughts on the Jedi's action towards the Sith and the reaction to the Sith retaliation. Balance my ass.

I've been diagnosed with chronic "It is what it is" syndrome. It's part of the same family as "Welps" disorder & hyper-"Same shit, different day"-ism

Blonde people had to fight for decades to overcome the "dumb blonde" stereotype. But unfortunately between Bondi & Leavitt blonde people are absolutely fucked.

Just applied for a rad job. This will jinx it, but I gotta put it out there.

A horse beat a buffalo today because horses aren't frauds. Fuck I love football.

I'm sorry what?

Watching Aaron Rodgers lose is my therapy.

I don't care if the Texans win, I just need Rodgers to lose.

Fuck football, stupid special teams idiots, fucking old Matt Stafford. Garbage sport.

Children don't need this, but I do. I love tech in different form factors. Everything has had to be "phone shaped" for 15+ years. Give me the futuristic shit with lots of weird knobs and toggles.

I heard there is a secret actual finale of Stranger Things, but they are only letting billionaires see it.

My mom caught me ragebaiting once. She could never look at me the same. Really ruined grandmas funeral.

Trump may die of natural causes, but Miller is the first one to go. Fucking bald little bitch modern day Himmler trash.

Every year, a new year Every new year, a year

Mom and Dad this is Chasey Chasey this is my mom and dad

An honorary *sssshhheeeeeeiiiiiiiittttttt*

I hope everyone enjoys the final Taco Tuesday of 2025, crunchy or soft shell, beef, chicken or veggie. May all your bites be perfect.

Can I use sleep debt to raise my credit score?

It's so perfectly 1990's coded, the "fun" angle and pattern. Definitely a chair your aunt had that was destroyed by her cats.

April O'Neil's boyfriend kissing her after she gets back from the sewers

I like the drawings where they clearly started with the thighs and then misproportioned the rest of the body.

I want to see the revenue of Roblox but divided between legit purchases vs. accidental child purchases vs. predatory purchases (grooming)

Oh hey look it's the #1 fraud team in the NFL the Buffalo Bills.

Just put the Benny Hill theme over this Chargers game. Hot garbage team.

I tried cancelling christmas, but i'm just 1 person. What could i possibly do to effect change!?

If ctrl+c & ctrl+v is hacking then call me Crash Override. 😎

I can't believe we all died during the pandemic and have been living in purgatory for the last 5 years, maybe 1000 years, time means nothing here, just a constant malaise.