Happy Saturday, besties.

Oh wild a tanker got attacked in the strait for trying to cross the open strait which was apparently less open than advertised

Trump is desperately throwing everything at the wall to get a simulacrum of a 'ceasefire' in order to make the markets go up, not realizing that brute physical reality is going to crush the economy between now and the election. To be fair, I don't know if Trump even knows physical reality exists.

Oh look, a physician’s family fleeing a state because of anti-trans policies. I wonder where I’ve seen this before!

It’s wild that you can probably directly attribute the tripled box office of The Cursed Child to the popularity of Harry Potter fanfic—namely Dramione. All because millennial women love the idea of boning a hot, rich blond Death Eater and can’t help but picture the childhood version of him grown.

oh wow you’re telling me that jd vance follows yet another nazi on twitter

Oh so grandpa’s out past sundown and he’s feeling feisty

Not to sound like a conspiracy theorist but this admin is manipulating the oil market and we are probably royally fucked when the chickens come home.

“Into darkness and filth” ooooh boy, Leo. That’s spicy.

Oh ffs ENOUGH

Hillbilly Elegy 2: The Cucking of JD Vance

JD: actually the Pope should be quiet The Church:

I don’t want to post his stupid bleating about China but honestly believing America would automatically win a hot war against them is delusional.

Just a reminder that JD Vance has been a Catholic for less time than Nacho Fries have been on the Taco Bell menu.

JD can eat all the ass. I haven’t been to church in almost two decades and I even know that Pope JP2 lobbied against the Iraq war. Gawd, converts are the worsttttt.

"The Pope is incorrect on matters of theology" is excommunication time. H/t @jumulojimbus.bsky.social

I don't even really care that we are now losing. Get Schaefer the puck anything less is an insult #isles

JUST. GIVE. SCHAEF. THE. PUCK. #isles

Altman’s house was attacked again. We could have an entire conversation on how people are transferring their frustration with the accelerating income inequality onto AI because it’s a convenient scapegoat for their priors but honestly he’s also yet another billionaire weirdo so who knows?

i feel bad for our country but this is tremendous content

“If I make you a Jesus doctor costume will you wear it?” My husband: No! Fuck no!

JD getting excommunicated right before his new book drops is probably too much to ask for, but that doesn't mean I can't wish for it.

I know this is shallow but please hire a stylist. Buy a good bra. You are never going to win governorship of a looks-obsessed electorate like Cali’s otherwise! I don’t like it, I don’t enjoy it, but it’s the reality. If you need style inspiration that doesn’t have MAL face—Arizona’s Katie Hobbs.

I’m actually disappointed he backed off of Trump Jesus. Come on, bro!

Someone wants attention (and knows he’s not supposed to be on the island, hence the guilty eyes.)

“i hope you meet jd vance” is about to become an actionable threat

My husband made this for me because I just keep cackling and won’t shut up about it.

If he were speedrunning as the anti-Christ, what exactly would he be doing differently? I’m at a loss. Just banger after banger from him today, might be his all-time greatest 24 hours of posting.

The Pope is WEAK on crime is so gd funny; I am HOWLING

I know he is demented and degenerate and mostly pretty dumb too. But Pope Leo is weak on crime is one of the funniest things a politician has ever said.

Calling the pope weak on crime and weak on nuclear weapons is going on my all-time list for Trumpisms alongside Tim Apple and “it’s marginal right”. I’m going to think about this moment for the rest of my life.

If you want to tell me with a straight face that Merrick Garland did everything in his power to preserve American democracy, you are welcome to that belief.

Sending JD Vance to cancel all my unwanted subscriptions.

interesting that he sent out vance to eat shit on iran while he brought rubio along to this clown show. a clear sign of who he thinks his heir is.

“Outlasted 3 trucks, 2 wives” He thought of the trucks first, I cannot

The Wings were in first place in the Atlantic at one point before the Olympic break. 💅🏼

To my bourbon people: I don’t know if it’s going to be available anywhere near you but I highly recommend New Riff (it’s blocks from the hospital I was born in lol) and I’d compare it to Woodford—the rye is one of the best I’ve ever had, too.

I don’t think Iran is actually deriving pleasure from this but I don’t not think it. www.nytimes.com/2026/04/10/u...

Good afternoon

Cole Caulfield is from one town away here in Wisconsin and I feel like he’s extremely underrated. Hometown NHL fifty goal scorer!

it is very important to remember that the confederates were both traitors and big stupid losers who got their asses kicked

If you come into my mentions mentioning “blue hairs”, I know you are either a boomer or a performance artist. Because anyone using a decade old stereotype clearly doesn’t understand the current moment. The only people with blue hair are animated characters or working at Walmart in Bumfuck, Iowa.

There’s no way to un-fuck this chicken if *84%* of Dems under 50 have an unfavorable view. Any Dem wanting to be elected going forward is going to have to take a hard line here.

There is nothing NOTHING in the universe I’d rather listen to less than this.

what about throwing you out of plane jd is she allowed to do that

Lmao

gosh golly i really like this guy

I—

The Gang Makes A Peace Deal.

This is me and @ggold328.bsky.social if anyone ever interviewed us about Bethany.