If you’re not eating out for a month, Costco food court is a free space. My kids were confused about this so I had to explain “ten dollars” and “loss leader” to them

Oh so he was just standing there filming them. He was standing on the street, pointing a phone at them, and when 7 guys swarmed him he fought back a little. GOT IT. NOTED.

That’s right

It’s what he is! What do you want from me!

Lowest temp I’ve experienced was 8 (very cold but not horrifying), highest was 117 (question your existence). 10 below sounds about as scary as 117.

imagine showing up to your office job and there's a crowd of people in the lobby heckling you every morning. "no one likes your emails" "your tie is ugly" lol. anyways i think everyone who works for ice should kill themselves

I’m going to save you some scrolling: we are never told what the AI policy they came up with was

Byline Times lmao

don’t come for our zoo

Re-situating myself in space upon learning the Russian guy from Heated Rivalry is actually American

Guy who’s horrified about ICE but didn’t know about the Trail of Tears in shambles rn. He’s clutching his head in his hands. Clicking on the “Slavery” hyperlink as the blood drains from his face entirely

Tore through this in what they’re calling “a single day of worrisome commitment” and: 👍👍

Dreamt I was making a pizza with toppings on the bottom as well- which was the standard way to make pizzas, in this dream- and it was my fault the stuff on the bottom kept falling off. This is how you people treat me

oh ok sorry

when one of my posts gets 2 likes instead of the usual 5

I have a bit of a book club margaritas/stayed up until midnight watching the gay hockey show thing going on, could you guys please panic a little more quietly

asked my husband to make a Totoro for my friend’s baby and I guess it’s finished

Well. I certainly understand why people were talking about this gay hockey show.

Goons hate him

Favorite microgenre: thriller whose protagonist is the out-of-touch middle-aged man the author is clearly terrified of turning into, and the walls are closing in on him

To the people saying “why won’t the local cops stop ICE” I am sending you to a re-education camp. A nice one, you’ll learn a lot

freezing cold, soaked in a stranger’s urine while dozens of people honk and blow whistles at me…just another day at the office right

audience got this guy in a dang burlap sack

Noting the guy in the grey hood who walks over and discreetly kicks the ICE agent in the head while he’s on the ground

Just wanted to pop on here quick and clarify because a lot of yall are leaving me nasty hate in the comments. When I posted my video “pov when your husband keeps you caged in the kitchen and turns the water off to the house” it was a JOKE. Jonathan would never forget to turn the water back on

Birthrates is a real haven't you forgot to ask someone discourse, like the people who are giving birth to those children

Well, it’s not an actual problem. So

basket of deplorables 🤷‍♀️

Had let’s say “moderate verbal altercation” with car line parent who was blocking the turn lane and keeping the park-and-walk parents from making our u-turns. It’s wild out there.

What? Cops have guns and they’re scared of everything

@stupidlikeafox.bsky.social like dissolves like

One small thing. Do not say “Based Will Stancil” to me. He’s always been like this, he’s just also annoying and addicted to posting and we loathe our own reflections

Child asked why I keep baking stuff. “Are you bored or something?” On the contrary, I’m keeping rather occupied. One could take notes perhaps

Looking at luau tickets and thinking about the time Steve texted me from a luau to complain that he was officially too woke for that luau

Entirely correct, and also they indicate an embarrassing lack of engagement with The News since he was 100% a visible and obvious asshole & racist when they bought the car. Cool sticker tho, you tried!!!

Minnesotans 😎😎😎 3 sunglasses emojis for you guys, you’re nailing it that hard rn

I have faith that these bitch ass thugs are baffled, offended, and frightened that so many people hate them so much, and it really bothers them, and that maybe they’ll experience life-long emotional or other consequences from that💕

What if I got a Sharpie and Google and modded these to include population density. Could open up & suggest even more possibilities. One could go absolutely nuts with it, if one wanted

going to Hawaii next month so I’ve started frequenting the relevant subreddit, all kinds of foibles on there too if you can possibly believe it

liking a fully nonsensical momlife comic because it depicts an ICE agent as a real asshole and I want to support that…that’s where I’m at

I have never supported a TV character’s efforts to save their house. Downton Abbey, The Summer I Turned Pretty, none of you deserve those houses. Turn them into condos, it’s nothing to me

Jacob Frey, mayor of Minneapolis… …Hello 👀

Cops and federal agents are terrified weenie bitches and you can take that to the bank pretty much any time you feel inclined to. Also they lie, because of the first thing

Younger kid says she’s in a “good and helpful mood” and is going to be nice to me today

Dogs With Jobs: Topper the Albuquerque airport ambassador

the political analogy is the last refuge of the scoundrel

Airbnb checkout instructions are “Lock the door, we’ll do everything else.” Threatening. A test, perhaps

The mechanism? The mechanism is that Putin can’t pull it off. They tried and the Ukrainians kicked their ass. It made Zelensky look extremely cool? Do you not remember this?