Amazing

This is fun: www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzT8...

I was once nearly run over by Harrison Ford.

Every now and then... okay, exactly every four years, I am amused to be reminded that there is a figure skating move called a "death spiral".

For anyone watching Olympic hockey, you should know they hired Dieter Ruhle, the organist for the L.A. Kings (also the Dodgers). Also, apparently, his sound board. So you are hearing the: - Kings goal horn - Kings power play music - Stuff Dieter plays at Kings game - etcetera, with Kings stuff #GKG

Is it weird that I can't quite tell? I have spent more time (far more than I would prefer) looking in a full-length mirror, and frankly, I think it might be torso but I dunno. Although there's one seat on Metro buses I can't sit in because it crushes my knees, so maybe legs...? I just can't say!

I'm gonna say John Cho, who graduated the same year as me and who I am pretty sure remembers me, since he did like 15 years after we graduated. Totally random encounter in a bar in Hollywood. But there might be someone else?

Kinda wish the Olympics commentators could think of a better adjective for the Japanese athletes other than "precise".

I decree that all Spanish-language panel shows must be called "talkos". This is mandatory.

My main takeaway from the Super Bowl is that I should use AI to tell me what sports team to bet on.

NBC really ought to hire me as a color commentator for figure skating. Where else are you going to get insights like: - Oh damn, big jump! - Man, he barely hung on to that one! - I dunno, these judges are nuts, that shit looked rad to me! - The FUCK is up with that outfit?!?!

I mean, it's been said and we all know, but just to be clear, the President is a huge fucking racist. I know, I know, sorry, we've all heard it. But still.

Strongly recommend not being a dumbass and doubling up on blood sugar meds. Anyway I'm out of the hospital and home now.

Apart from just plain being bad, I feel like Kid Rock cannot in any reasonable sense claim to still be a "Kid". The dude is older than dirt, for crying out loud. (By which I mean he's a year older than me, and I feel fuckin' OLD.)

The people of El Centro have done nothing to deserve Greg Bovino.

In my previous post I referred to ICE as "weenies" and my proposal is that we all call them that from now on. They know they are fascists and are proud of it, they don't care about that we hate them. Let's mock them for the weenies they are - I think that might actually bug them.

OMG these fucking weenies

I never know if I have any Angelenos who follow me, and I'm pretty sure about 3 people actually read this, but this is so cool.

Thanks for a *moment*, Bsky. It'll happen this year, I feel certain. And we will have just as much fun. More, really.

The fuck?

[person in Minneapolis beaten half to death and dragged off to a concentration camp] You’re right Senator, sorry I got distracted sir! Egg prices are really - [kicked unconscious by ICE thugs]

I'm gonna write a new The Stand but this time, the evil gathers in, like, Philadelphia, and the good is in St Louis or something and anyway, after the supernatural BS is over, humanity rebuilds in a friendly-to-humanity place like Southern California. Take that, @stephenking.bsky.social!

Remember the pasty dweeb in your 10th grade US History class who always wanted to argue with the teacher that the Civil War was about economics, or that the Nazis were pretty good if you ignore the whole genocide thing? Turns out, he also had the most bonkers take possible on the Monroe Doctrine.

I feel like if you're just waiting around for God to pay out that OT, he's gonna be pissed

I'm sorry, you're telling me Santa just passed something called HHOHHO?

if they had just shown it on 60 Minutes nobody would have seen it

'Magic balls' installed by drones could conquer US market thanks to game-changing performance: 'It's never been like this'

I've done this one before, and the answer is Porky's, and I really don't know what to make of that.

"Don't get so worked up about pedophiles," says national columnist who hung out with said pedophiles.

Met a guy the other day who absolutely will not take showers, he insists that he can only take baths. I guess he can't stand to get clean.

I'm a bad man, and the proof is that the first thing I thought when I saw this was "that's a big poop chute"

I had no idea, and I wish I were unscrupulous enough to find a way to profit from this

I have beef with yesterday's Connections. Rodeo Dr is only in L.A. for one block and that's certainly not the famous part. Beverly Hills is a separate city. Hmph.

Many sidewalks in L.A. are broken or outright dangerous to walk or run on, but this particular example takes the cake. It's like the city is saying "we're not going to fix it, but if you fall down, you can't claim we didn't warn you."

Of course you should drink it. Haven't you heard of the Claus that refreshes?

The Hallmark movie we need: Boy grows up in The Big City, moves to a rural area, and becomes an industrial hog-raising tycoon. Goes home for Xmas, runs into the Nerdy Girl from school on the subway. She's now beautiful and running a bespoke jewelry business out of her apartment. (1/2)

This is not a new topic, but I'm wondering if we can now definitively say that "Turkish Delight is tasty" is the biggest literary con job of all time? For those of a literary bent who never read Narnia, I will also accept "whatever the hell Joyce was doing in Finnegans Wake."

Well, the results are in from my test: I'm a certified freak, but only 3-4 days a week. I, like many others, have moderate to severe freakitis, and I'm no longer ashamed to admit it. If you think you might be suffering from freakitis as well, ask your doctor about Libidinot today!

Share a TV series you've watched from beginning to end more than once. (Since I'm quoting someone who has also watched ATLA all the way through more than once, I had to come up with a different one...)

Man, I love sort of semi-obscure but very interesting historical facts. That is because I am a nerd. But I have a feeling you might be one too, so here you go: www.ianvisits.co.uk/articles/tim...

I love this city but sometimes my fellow Angelenos are ridiculous. Yes, it is quite rainy, but when I went to the grocery store earlier it was like 64 degrees. There was no need to bundle up as if it were a goddamned blizzard.

Yeah, me neither

Presented without comment or apologies for the crappiness of the picture. Feel free to insert your own jokes.

We don't need to change any MAGA minds. We need to talk to the people who googled "is joe biden running" on November 4th, 2024. They are out there, and they vote every time, and the more headlines they see in the next 355 days about how the Republican Party is protecting pedophiles, the better.

For those who haven't seen this. I'd like to say it's shocking, but it really isn't. If the government is acting like criminals, why wouldn't criminals act like the government?

Re: Cheney, has anyone made a "It's my Dick in a box" joke yet? If not I suppose I will have to find a picture of a coffin and do what I can with my limited graphic skills.

My ironclad promise to you: If I ever run for office, at no time will I be photographed shirtless. Vote Fat Guy in 20xx!

It occurs to me that the nation really could've used some help from Arthur Dent this past weekend. Too late now, alas.

The shittiest possible remix of "Born Slippy" starts playing