when god closes a door, he— okay he closed another door, but I just know he’s going to open a windo— okay, he closed another door, but you know what they say, when god closes a door, he opens a— ok, it looks like he just closed another door, oh, going for another door, oh he’s doing two at once, but

this “cut your tomatoes off and hang them up in your kitchen” shit really works!! and green onions don’t gaf about the weird early December snows 😈

the only way I think “extra time on tests” gets misused is as a way to “accommodate” students who would actually benefit from a completely different set of accommodations the university is unwilling to provide. so they can say “there, you’re accommodated, stop complaining.”

everybody loves to be like “man-hating lesbian, man-hating lesbian” when the BIGGEST man-haters in the WORLD are straight married moms

NEW EP ALERT 🌳🌿🌱🌿🌳⛰️🌊🏔️ EPISODE 13: MINES OF MENCIA 🧗🏻🦛🦛🗒️🚁

no, because people don’t read PONY EXPRESS

“god made male and female and there’s no changing that— these idiots don’t know biology” the barnacle that changes male crabs to female crabs so they will raise its babies:

it’s super bittersweet in December still bringing in last remnants of this year’s garden!! it’s supposed to snow overnight so I cut our very last marigolds. tomato branches I cut still ripening hanging in our kitchen

they should fill the bingo daubers with colored cyanide so if you lose, you can just take care of it in the Honorable Bingoer’s Way

we pulled off in a random shopping center to pick up dinner as we head home from DC and it has sooo many shops and little fast casual restaurants & it is ABSOLUTELY ABANDONED. Desolate!!! No other patrons to be seen. Genuinely eerie. I look over and see El googling “economy”.

CRISPR? 🙄 wake me up when they’ve got CRISPST.

oh, you got parentified? that’s cute. I got butch eldest daughter husbandified

I’m writing a grant to fund a postdoc for me with a very cool prof I’m very excited to work with BUT today they proposed we name a program in our proposal “BuSSE” (“like the bus! 🙂”)

california sheephead showing teeth in kelp bed habitat

feeling self-actualized as the nation’s first male tradwife bc I made fluffy pull-apart rolls for our guests and also a log cabin fire

🎵give a dog a booooone🎶

I’ve been getting into making double portion of pot pie filling this autumn and freezing it, so a few weeks after Pot Pie #1, I can whip out Pot Pie #2 with considerably less effort. and besties, it is really working for me!

THERE IS HOPE #wastelandponyexpress www.patreon.com/posts/107848...

🐎👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩✨Post-Apocalyptic Lesbian Cowgirl Mailman 🐎🤠💌choose-your-own adventure Pony Express Update 6.12!! 🛀🙏👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩⛺🐋 Patreon (paid): www.patreon.com/posts/142915... ao3 (free): archiveofourown.org/works/721030... newsletter sign-up: wlpe.eo.page/signup

Guy seething with jealousy: Well, I think the normal sky is already pretty cool

I’m at the aurora hunt. I’m at the postdoc interview prep. I’m at the combination aurora hunt and postdoc interview prep…!

dems had to remind us, after last week, that voting for democrats will never do anything ever and they will always generate identical outcomes to republicans. just in case we forgot!

real fucking interesting Tim Kaine decided to cave on shutdown when his office is closed and not taking my angry phone calls 🤨⁉️

Keep Trying #art

all the payday loan app ads are grim as fuck, but the one for "Dave" where the guy is getting an emergency loan on his phone in the line so he can pay for groceries is uh. especially awful! especially now!

Let’s Live in Prosperity for 1000-10000 Years Together #art

Let Her Love Illuminate the Darkest Time of Year 🕯️ #art

stress-baked scratch cinnamon rolls and mostly scratch pot pie (puff pastry is store bought)!

god, I'm glad Winsome Earle-Sears didn't win. feels fucking good to know at least the person who ran the most abhorrent anti-trans ads I can imagine WON'T be our governor. maybe now we can watch tv without having to see those ads, even! imagine!

whatever you think of Spanberger, the fact that her opponent ran a campaign based almost entirely on transphobia and is on track to eat shit in the biggest blowout the state has seen since 2009 is unambiguously a huge win

same face

and WHAT, exactly, is wrong with having a beautiful aloof wife with bangs? 🤔😡

you may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like 🐌

strike these guys out, snell. win the world sneries

kanpai! 🥂

Closed Mouths Don’t Get Fed #art

El doesn’t know anything abt baseball & has been getting baptism by fire. They don’t really know what’s going on but they are getting a lot of mileage out of calling Freddie Freeman “Freddie Fishman” from @thatguttershow.bsky.social

she was all done with her baby carrots TWENTY FIVE MINUTES AGO!!! gentlemen……..!

alright. introducing a new rule where in inning 13 I stand in the outfield with an elephant gun and if you get tranqed by me that’s an out

It’s official. Happy Birthday to Raina and Happy Birthday to Juniper Moon’s new site! To celebrate, all Halloween earrings are 26% off from now until Halloween. We are so excited for this new chapter, please bear with us as we say goodbye to Etsy and hello to Big Cartel!

got this copper kettle from my mom which is in pretty rough shape (my family has had it forever), but she was just gonna take to goodwill! this is after first pass with brasso

Backed by the Heritage Foundation and Big Tech, KOSA will force everyone to upload their ID to access the internet. In an age when Palantir has direct ties to ICE, where technofascists are in power and want to eliminate and censor everything, we CANNOT allow KOSA to pass. It NEEDS mass pushback.

there's a free worldwide shipping sale on rn 👀

wives should not have to clean bathroom. especially the toilet. how the fuck is that not a trad “man’s” job?

there’s been a guy the landlords have sending to powerwash and paint our (small!) patio fence who is, inexplicably, back for the FIFTH time in the last two weeks. job is maybe half done 🥲

my grandfather, who is in his 90s, went to protest outside his retirement home yesterday for no kings (they were along a protest route) and fell and broke his arm!!

Every Hand’s a Loser #art #wastelandponyexpress

Spent an hour on and off with Spotify online support just trying to find out where to file feedback re: ICE ads. After asking what the feedback was, all four reps ended the chat immediately when I mentioned ICE. This has to be direction from above. Save your time and just cancel now.