I'm out here in the middle of nowhere on purpose so my words are what they are. Clearly I am not going to f****** Minneapolis or wherever the s*** that is. I will tell you one thing that absolutely doesn't work and that is shouting shame at tyrants that just executed your neighbor.

In a sane country, doing cowboy shit like this would mean immediate dismissal and reckless endangerment charges. Shooting is supposed to be a last resort, not "something you do when you're mad someone isn't doing what you say."

You know, actually do the work they get paid hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars to do.

Saw Walz was "mobilizing the national guard" and for a brief, foolish moment I thought that meant "to kick ice out of Minnesota" but then I remembered no actual governor has that kind of moral courage even when their citizens are murdered.

Truth and Reconciliation isn't enough, I need these assholes in labor camps for the rest of their misbegotten lives.

It's incredible how someone so patently, confidently wrong about everything could fail upwards to the point that he's advising the president. Steven Miller and everyone like him are the strongest arguments against the idea we live in a meritocracy.

In American folklore a scrub is a guy that thinks he's fly and is also known as a "busta". He is always talking about what he wants and just sits on his broke ass.

The doublethink is the point, but yeah, it's honestly hilarious how much rightoids like to posture as "free thinkers" when they are all, to a t, just looking for someone to tell them what to do.

Yeah, AP, it's so "surprising" the Vice President of a nation would become president when the sitting president is abducted by another country. 🤨 What would be less surprising, them just waiting until daddy Trump tells them who's in charge?

Absolute fire the whole way through.

"Humanity’s weakest souls will always cling to the words “I was just following orders.” They cower behind those words, making a virtue of their own weakness, lionising brutality over nobility. I know that when I die, I’ll have lived my whole life shrouded by that same excuse." -Argel Tal, Betrayer

This kind of stuff just reads like "how Jordan's whirlwind dunk over a six year old unfolded".

Yeah, it's gonna cost a lot of American money and some of our soldiers might die. THATS the real horror here.

Marco "moderating influence" Rubio strikes again. Truly this is the party of morality and rule of law.

If I were an 18 year old, I would simply not have signed up to be a soldier for one of the most patently evil regimes the US has ever known. Like, sorry, if you sign up to be a soldier when the wannabe mob boss is literally in power, you don't get to fall back on the smol bean defense.

Thoughts and prayers for Hegseth, who probably wants to be jerking off right now but can't because he's got whiskey dick

Jesus Reddit Wrapped went straight for the throat.

Counterpoint, we should find a way to send all of France to jail. Just to be safe.

Imagine being literally French and thinking "I must defend my culture being changed by external force at any cost".

And yet, here he is again

Lmao, well, that clearly didn't go the way he thought it would.

Liberals will put up "In this house" signs and then take the longest road youve ever seen around saying the n word toward the minority they choose to blame when their Chosen One inevitably fails at the ballot box.

I love how the framing in this is that we lose something if billionaires "flee" a state (even though they never do). Like, they already aren't paying taxes, if we issue a tax and they leave, what, they aren't paying taxes *more*?

Finally, scientists have answered the question of "what that mouth do"

This is my East Wing. NORAD tracking Santa is my one of my favorite cute traditions and the idea of this shitbird using it to brainwash kids is infuriating.

There's a scene in Dispatch that sums this effect up nicely: "Hey, Rob, I was gonna do Whitney Houston for karaoke, do you think I could pull it off?" "Are you Whitney Houston?" "...No?" "Then you can't pull it off." "...Damn, he's right."

CBS thing is so corpobrained it's amazing. Like they must have thought that trumpism was "in" because he won the election so they rebranded to capitalize and now they're realizing that's not the case at all. Complete self immolation of decades of reputation because they couldn't read the wind.

Excitedly signing up to be a maoist until I look closer and realize they aren't called "Snuggle Sessions."

Juiceless presidency.

For 500 dollars a month you too could learn how to walk face first into an uppercut and also how to make that weird shape with both hands he and his brother always do (seriously what's up with that shit?)!

greg bovino is doing tough guy drag when he's really just a little bitch

And what's funny is, despite supposedly being the party of tough individualists, every time they will cave and bend the knee. Every accusation is a confession. A party of cucks and betas.

Every Trump voter today:

The monogamists are actually correct, we're all out to make dating *even harder* for them, and with every person I add to my polycule I cackle with diabolic joy.

"Erm, actually, most of the valuation of meta as a company is liquid assets and so they couldn-*I burst into flames and die instantly*

I love when women

Today is the day I learn scromiting does not, in fact, mean "Shitting Cumming and Vomiting all at the same time".

oh you only enjoy movies that happen to be critically acclaimed. i’m sure you’re hoping i think “wow, what good taste” but what i’m actually thinking is “boring and inauthentic”

Same thing goes for standup comics

I want all the Dearborn obsessed #resist libs to understand that this is exactly what you sound like when you celebrate ICE raids on people you think failed your failed candidate.

There are many pathetic men involved in this administration but I think Hegseth might be the worst. Dude talks like a guy who played call of duty once and thought it made him qualified to be a general.

Typa shit I'm on

Honestly one of the best aspects of Dispatch is there is canonically a hero named Big Chungus who is pretty alright at the gig.

>The US about to invade another country under the pretense of "defense" when everyone knows it's for oil >Islamophobia reaching a fever pitch Close enough, welcome back 2002.

Because not a single person in history has actually benefited from shackling themselves to Donald Trump? Like I legitimately don't understand why people still do it.

Without downloading new pics, what's it like dating you?

Call this presidency an empty carton because they do not have the juice.

Starting a new post series I'm going to call "The Portland Reddit Louvre of Shame"