Living today in that episode of High Maintenance where some unexplained national tragedy happened but they never said what

You can’t spell Marcell Ozuna without “DFA” (probably)

Come see me do stuff!

Pirates 8, Orioles 2. Last time I saw a bassitt getting beat that badly there was a Sarah Maclachlan song playing in the background. Raise it.

Raise it 🏴‍☠️

Ozuna sucks

🧐

Raise it 🏴‍☠️

Engagement is down? With these creamsicle brothers deciding whether to cuddle or fight it is?

*borp* kill me *borp*

On April 7, I am hosting *77* again, at Fiona's Bar on Flatbush Avenue. Among my guests will be @raxkingisdead.bsky.social and @conradshiner.bsky.social. It's a great bar. Show is good fun. Join us. It's free (but buy a drink.)

Again no. This is *not* a priority email.

No. Please no. I’m done. I’ve had enough thank you.

If you told me Skenes was starting, the Pirates would have 3 homers and Henry goddamn Davis would have a double. Well, I would have taken that.

If you told me Skenes was starting, the Pirates would have 3 homers and Henry goddamn Davis would have a double. Well, I would have taken that.

Should call his homers a BLowe Job

He died as he lived. With a goddam 108 ERA.

I’m gonna eat 1.5k calories in nachos now to calm down. 🏴‍☠️

I’m not one of those “you owe me money” guys to pro athletes, but if given the chance I would at least share my Venmo information with Paul Skenes.

Not on my bingo card

Let’s play some goddamn ball!

Let’s go Bucs!

I dunno man linda cardellini in an ump uni is fine by me

#Caturday is for my boys

Ran into Dan Soder on my flight this morning and he’s as absurdly nice as you think he would be.

I know claiming a “paradigm shift” is a bit trite, but yesterday I didn’t know the story to or the melody of Afroman’s “Randy Walters is a Son of a Bitch” and today I do, and I feel like nothing in my life will be the same again.

If Venezuela won the WBC would Trump invite the team to the White House?

Crossword tournament today. #cantstopwontstop #fuckyourerasers

Now that's what I call... (•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) ...Rocking the rims

Calling all my prayer warriors cause I banged my shin into the side of the dishwasher real bad I need you people 🙏

i peeked in the tillyverse. it's real bad.

THE SHIELD IS THE COMMISH ??!?!!!

He died as he lived, overhearing his cats walk back and forth across the oven controls.

If Richard Jenkins is in it I’m watching it end of fucken story

Blessed Caturday those who celebrate. 🙏

can somebody who is good at the economy tell me what happens to asset values when yields go down?

don't be losers with counterprogramming like some pre-recorded kid rock and shimbly mckimberton halftime show just go be

I still am not entirely clear on what a will stancil is

"Oh right, there's Robert Duvall. He just died last week." Turning towards son "Isn't this fun?"

Me making my 12-year-old watch The Natural with me. "That's Robert Redford. He just died last year. Oh right Joe Don Baker is in this. Yeah, he died last year. Michael Madsen! He dies in the movie. And he also died in real life last year."

☕️ 🏒 🚬 😎

Dennis Haysbert is not Dennis Hastert.

*Marilyn Manson voice* We're all stars now / In the Gold Zone

95% of the way through A Working Man… “Ok maybe I *did* see this movie already”

🧐

*david Brent voice* Monkey

Bam Pondi

And for your ten items for Alone you’ve chosen …. ten Triscuits? Yes. That is correct.

Gold Zone 🕶️ 🚬

Reading this Rumbunter piece on Skenes like rumbunter.com/paul-skenes-...