In a fit of I don’t know what I have ordered 2 books- War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy and 107 days by @kamalaharris.com and I love this for me

It probably wasn’t totally my fault but I maybe was a factor in my cast mate dislocating her thumb and boy do I feel bad about it 😣

You ever get paralyzed by the bad news machine in your hands?

I have an IMDb listing for a short film I did and that is awesome and fun. But my name is spelled wrong and is there a way I can fix that?? I

I mean- he is the governor of California and I think that really explains everything.

I had something really bizarre sent to me in a spam message on messenger. Does anyone out there have the singular talent of being able to track who a spam account belongs to?

What gif pops up when you type your name?

Without downloading new pics, where are you mentally?

South Park is getting canceled after this lmao.

Y’all think they’ll let Ghislaine out when they tell her to testify that nothing ever happened?

There is a weirdly large population of fake Keanu accounts forever trying to get with me.

Today years old when I learned my dad’s birthday is also the anniversary of the day Aaron Burr shot Alexander Hamilton (it’s today)

The asshole from the Real World Vegas is going to run NASA.

Nothing hits quite like actor dinner time

Fetterman’s office shut off the voicemail. @fetterman.senate.gov @crookednews.crooked.com

“I’m gonna disassociate so hard,” —me, on the subject of upcoming family vacation

When the constitutional crisis hits the fan, I like to go shopping. What are yinz doing???

SCOTUS has me laying in the dark with a cool cloth on my forehead I love this

Um anyone else feel like there is just too much going on

EXCLUSIVE — The Onion has a full-page ad in today’s NYT featuring part of an editorial calling out congressional fecklessness towards Trump. They also sent a copy of their latest issue to every lawmaker. My report, with an excerpt from the full editorial: www.thehandbasket.co/p/exclusive-...

It’s like I had a really wonderful summer day with horses and alpacas and wine but also we’re in fucking hell.

Apparently my seven year old nephew doesn’t understand ambient lighting

Cannot get over the cognitive dissonance of simply being aware of current events and then working in a corporate environment that is not responding to any of it.

Im at the pool. I forgot to bring lip balm. Will I survive this.

I’ve been comparing the the beige cubicle walls at work to the yellow wallpaper and no one gets it. It’s a shame.

That feeling when you apply to be part of an improv ensemble at an international festival and you get selected but you have to decline? Yeah, I’m having that feeling.

I just left the most fatigued voicemails for my PA senators.

I saw a pickup truck flying 2 American flags and it actually made me nauseous. Our flag is making me nauseous.

Omg SPOILERS this is like the ONE TIME I cared. 🤬

I maybe got some biofreeze in and about my face and head

Stfu about eggs. Eggs have jumped the shark.

On the brighter side, last night my line was ‘and with my poor brother’ and I almost said ‘and with my whore brother’ which would have been hilarious.

Like the comments- I want to say they are all bots. But that’s not possible. Right?

I want to feel hopeful about yesterday. Millions of us. But it feels like a bunch of sound and fury signifying nothing. I will never understand how there are not lawmakers or people in place that are able to fucking stop this man. And the deeply sick people who support him.

A really incredible vape pen was lost somewhere at a bar in Irwin. I know it’s gone forever. I hope someone is blessed by finding it and blessings return to me ✨😢💨

We’ve had 4 major plane disasters that have killed 85 people since Trump became president. Still waiting to hear Trump’s justification for firing hundreds of Federal Aviation Administration staff. Anyone??

Trump crash plane

I’m happy that @hitchdied.bsky.social and @jennifer.holz.gay taught me about the concept of a ‘cuck chair’ so I know what’s happening in these Oval Office pics

New Exclusive building on Wired's reporting: Musk operatives have already pushed live to production extensive code changes to the Treasury Department payment system which makes 95% of fed govs payments. talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/musk-...

Worried about a fascist takeover? This sheet-pan paella will make you feel like you’re in 1930s Spain.

Without downloading any new pics, where are you mentally?

People are getting high on Benedryl??

Developing a pretty good impression of Seth Meyers’s impression of DT.

I can drink a French 75 super fast.

One of the richest men in the world went on Joe Rogan's podcast to complain that companies don't have enough "masculine energy" anymore, whatever that means. www.jezebel.com/mark-zuckerb...