she let me hit because i have a good heart

You can’t call a movie HAMNET. I don’t care if that was the kid’s name. You just can’t call a movie HAMNET. You can’t ask people to ask for a ticket to see something called HAMNET.

my BITCH WIFE keeps telling me it’s bedtime but i’m NOT EVEN TIRED 🤬🖕

post more of your boyfriends. please. i’m jerking it to them

in the joker baby hahahahaha society

it doesn’t work anymore. like it doesn’t get hard. my wife is turning to the occult

who up slopping theyy hog

bitches call me the diagnosis

getting so drunk you text the DO NOT TEXT and tell your chud dad you’re trans

“your” that shit does NOT look right

you have to see what this “stupid shit” she’s talking about is

my new year’s resolution is to be a better poster

i just need to post better

one time a girl told me we were soulmates because we both kinda liked animals

my pussy is an eldritch horror. it tastes like fear

i think people need a refresher on what constitutes a Distraction. the cracker barrel logo thing (zero stakes, obviously invented controversy) is a Distraction. the ongoing military occupation of washington dc (ample footage of random delivery drivers being violently detained by feds) is not

tate mcrae and the kid laroi sit face to face and just say the n word back and forth giggling and shit

headline: “president trump is running the country like a businessman 🙂‍↕️” subhead: “we are descending into fascism at record pace”

realizing my peak on both twitter and blue sky has been like 70 followers. my dreams of being a niche internet microcelebrity are childish and pathetic

you can say “i mean spiritually” after any statement and no matter how insane it is people will agree with you

the red scare will never be over

my brain cannot permanently separate adam friedland and lex friedman and it leads me to a lot of confusion

Time to clock in at my job at the betting on losing dogs factory. Maybe we can unionize

i’m feeling sooo kafkaesque rn

“this app is entertaining to laugh at people” “just here for the bit” you’ve been on this app for three years

i’ve heard woke is back

I don’t think anyone is prepared for what they just did w/ ICE. This is not a simple budget increase. It is an explosion - making ICE bigger than the FBI, US Bureau of Prisons, DEA,& others combined. It is setting up to make what’s happening now look like child’s play. And people are disappearing.

apartment complexes are corpofascists i need a landlord i can physically see and threaten if need be

JD Vance is now on twitter saying he wants to deport the Derek Menswear guy who became the main character of the day by unnecessarily whining about how the LA protesters are not 'MLK enough'. No amount of willing complacency will free you.

I don't care if these monstrous ICE raids are a "federal operation". This is authoritarian violence, plain and simple. Just because Stephen Miller has kidnapping quotas for brown people he doesn't want to see on the street doesn't mean we have to think it's okay.

“these are real people with real families you’re hurting”

how horny you gotta be to eat a fuckin sardine bro

i would be so much happier without this big ass swinging dick

a t4t lesbian situationship with someone who looks like hunter schafer would save me

how come every annoying wealthy leftist fucking LOVES tokyo

tbh this is the lesser of the bug mac and cheeses. i should’ve picked a better option

wait you’re telling me angels deserve to die??? i’m literally sobbing

god andor was so good. i’m gonna vote so hard in 2028

counterpoint this rocks

lib memes piss me off so bad

dude this weekend was a fucking movie bro. remember when we got so fucked up and created the white man, whose lack of inner divinity leaves them with a thirst for blood?? good times man. see you next week

dystopian

cat ownership is so special. “you’re so fast! so agile! you move so quickly!” purity manifest.

i’m seeing a resurgence of the term “thot.” concerning

6 shots of rum and bug mac and cheese…. mmm