lezmaxxing the bedroom

bombarding my gf with yuri while they’re at work

yeah i’ll have a white monster. on the rocks

Let northern lion host SNL

not now kitten mommy’s plans are measured in centuries

we should start either calling pregames “befores” or start calling afters “postgame”

Going non sexual on the pussy

Men get emotional about women sports,,, I just try do it in a positive way

quieter again for the people in the front !!(they’re overstimulated)

fired from my job as a dentist cause i kept tickling people’s tongues

every day 🙌

when is lesbian chaser day of visibility

traveling back and time and telling a sickly Victorian child he has to do the sprite challenge or he’ll die

it’s a bedtime skincare at 7pm kinda night

After Claudia Goldin became the first woman to win a solo Nobel in economics, she got hundreds of invitations. She accepted three. One was advising WNBA players on a labor deal. She helped players land the biggest % raise in US sports history. www.wsj.com/economy/wnba...

cop: you were going 40 over the limit me: i literally wasn’t?? you’re acting crazy right now. all you is look for reasons to get into arguments. my ex never treated me this way

[Mike Breen voice] WAY off

i eat bluechew but it’s just for the flavor

i got my ass eaten on the Whole Foods hot bar

do not like go gentle into that good night diva

can’t believe chappell roan spit on punch the monkey

putting on my comfy cindy lou who panties and going to bed

how could they fumble this

umpire: safe! me, shedding a single tear: you’re safe with me too :)

approaching six months of dating so it’s time to pop the question: will you watch me play balatro?

saw a post today where a man complained about women saying it’s a good idea to close the toilet lid before flushing. he woulda died in the middle ages for sure

if i was a therapist i’d say stuff like “source?” when my clients told me they were unlovable

kirkland signature yuri (32 pack)

quick slop sesh before i redo this setup

kombucha and yerba mate energy drink save meeee

but i don’t want to use two factor authentication

comedians in cars getting cancelled

the male loneliness epidemic? just be a woman and a good person. skill issue

hmm extremely not a fan of being put in that situation. never again please and thank you

2 cups of coffee no breakfast . i am dividing by zero in my head without consequence

working late

day 1 of watching every single reel on insta

the cigarettes are both girls btw

the people are ready for the first Italian American president of the United States

millennial restaurant owner guy who says “we do things a little differently around here” before putting on those black nitrile gloves to finger you and calling your titties “handhelds”

practicing mindfulness as i use the bidet, focusing only on my hole receiving the concentrated laser stream of water

armpit

therapy today thank god

i am very estranged from my family because of transphobia (among other reasons). one of my cousins called me last night to check on me. it was nice but it’s bringing up a lot of feelings. it is so incredibly difficult and heavy sometimes

clock OUT of work and clock IN to balatro

i’m busy tn i gotta transvestigate the pope

We love you too

to be loved is so swag