Lmao the onion now officially owns info wars

One of my favourite things is when people comment “it’s like a man and a woman had a baby” under the posts of androgynous people

Who needs enemies when you have friends like these 😭😭😭😭

Idk if any of my followers are from Hungary, but congrats on finally getting rid of Orbán. I hope brighter days are finally on the horizon for your country.

This might be one of the best gags in smiling friends lmfao

let’s hang out by the field with mama

Lmao Reddit banned me for saying something negative about Trump. Guess I triggered r/jailbait moderator spez and his precious tax cuts.

Since there’s the whole Iran Hormuz toll thing does that just mean gas is going to be more expensive forever?

Born to fap, forced to goon 😔😔😔😔

Masterful gambit sir

Idk if this is a hot take but the people still mad about Pluto need to grow the hell up. It’s been 20 years, get over it ffs.

How mfs in seventh grade expected you to react to an ISIS beheading video on liveleak at 8 in the morning

Why tf does Texas always act like the super independent one when they were literally begging to be annexed by the U.S. but California was forcefully invaded and taken over by the U.S.?

I know Twitter will never be what it was before Musk but every once in a while, you’ll get a glimpse of what once was.

I hate that the bird on the left is called a booby when that name would be way better suited for the one on the right.

U.S. propaganda is genuinely hilarious because these motherfuckers would overthrow foreign governments for bananas yet they expect us to believe that we’re the good guys

I’m genuinely surprised that there hasn’t been a furry that has won a Nobel prize yet

If you had to play quiplash with your HR department, how screwed would you be?

I feel like the red fox should be a case study for a modern species currently undergoing the process of speciation. Currently these two are considered subspecies of the same species but you can see many morphological differences already starting to emerge based on their wildly different environments

New startup idea: the paleo funeral. Basically we take your dead body and toss it into an anoxic lake so you can be fossilized.

I hate all the former Trump supporters who are finally no longer supporting him because of the fucking gas prices. You can excuse raping children but you draw the line at gas being 4 dollars a gallon? You are still a terrible person

I hate it when there’s an aspect of your body you don’t like and when you desire to change it people will say dumb shit like “you’re beautiful don’t change it” cool in glad you think so but I don’t want freckles sorry not sorry

I just got a custom figura avatar for my fursona and everyone look how cute I am. Best money I’ve ever spent!

Echinoderms are so weird because they are the closest relatives of chordates yet they look like they should’ve gone extinct during the Permian at the latest. Wtf do you mean these are our cousins?

I absolutely loathe the United States and look forward for the day I can drop my citizenship but the one thing I’ll give this shithole is that ice water should be the global standard.

Omfg, Trump said the Iran invasion was a “special military operation” and not an actual war, we are so fucked 😭😭😭😭

I can’t believe that the meteor is going to hit tilted towers on April 18th

My mom gave away all my Pokémon cards without asking years ago so now I’m looking at how much the ones I remember I had are selling for online and dying inside.

Humans really managed to take over the planet by doing this shit in the ice age

How exactly do you contend with the fact that life is going to get perpetually worse and each passing day is the best you’ll ever experience for the rest of your life without becoming an alcoholic?

With all the shit Israel is pulling, I feel like I’m going to have to spend the rest of my life telling people to not be antisemitic and that Zionism is not synonymous with Judaism.

I don’t know if this is my stupidest idea or my most genius one but I want to see a trans woman who just started HRT post her bare chest every day on instagram and see how long it takes before it’s taken down for nudity.

Now that I think about it, we are insanely lucky that fire is actually visible because imagine if it wasn’t.

Do you ever read more into geopolitics and think “holy shit the rest of the world does not hate the U.S. even remotely as much as they should.”

Random question for the Americans: do all of you have an equivalent of Bakersfield in your state? Like is there one city that everyone in the state agrees to constantly rip on?

Have you ever gotten clickbaited by a song that’s used in a lot of social media videos and then search up the full song only to find out the rest of it is ass?

Idk if this entirely counts but apparently there are Minecraft videos that were made by fucking Jeffery Epstein

Shoutout to all the old people who voted for Brexit and then proceeded to fucking die while leaving everyone else to face the consequences of the economic fuckery

having your city noticed by the president is now a natural disaster on par with a hurricane or major flood

“Man, if only there was a device that was able to detect radiation levels in the environment.” The humble Geiger counter:

I like how job interviews are just a massive humiliation ritual where you have to pretend to give a shit about some faceless corporate entity and not the fact that having a job is slightly preferable to homelessness.

Horrifying discovery I made today is that I’m actually a millennial according to the people who coined the term.

Do you think bees see beekeepers as an eldritch god they give food offerings to in exchange for protection?

It’s genuinely so crazy that basically every bad thing that’s happened in the past 20 years can be directly traced back to Jeffery Epstein

We voted on axing daylight savings 8 years ago btw

The more I learn about stem cells, the more I hate George Bush