Here me out: Kevin James should play Kim Davis in a biopic.

Tim Kaine deserves that god forsaken hairline

You know who else had their sinking (of shots) talked about for over 50 years? That's right, your friend Jesus Christ.

It's cute when people use the lazy "GOP is only doing this to silence talk of the Epstein files" as if some of us haven't lived the last ten years getting emotional fucking whiplash when the GOP tries to take our healthcare away every few months. They don't need motive, just cruelty.

Hey, real quick, can I have your attention, please? Thanks. Here's the cutest fact I've ever learned:

Happy #caturday from me and my churu-eating gremlins

Yes

Boomer moms when you tell them they traumatized you in childhood.

They're really making #nonutnovember hard. And me.

Does anyone know that old YouTube video where the white woman is singing, "I want to be ninja"? One time I was falling asleep while scrolling on TikTok and I scrolled onto that video and accidentally sent it to someone I barely know. So Mike, if it was an accident, I feel you.

I don't even want to know what kind of weird white Christian nationalist shit is going on outside of the Fox News headquarters right now.

I'm vibing like this version of George Harrison today. On cloud nine.

Big day for people who aren't idiots

Oh but let's not forget. Establishment Dems will say Zohran won by such a landslide because he's on TikTok while they count their corporate money with no intention to win 2028.

Sorry, I can't watch the election results starting to come on. I suffer from SKTSD (Steve Kornacki Traumatic Stress Disorder)

Ready to stick my communism in your fart box, fuck faces

Mike Johnson: ‘My Christian Faith Is More About Not Jacking Off Than Feeding The Poor’

The peanut butter cup to all other candies ratio in this pint was phenomenal. That means we're all going to have a good week this week 🙏🏻💕

There was a gnarly hit & run on our street at about 8pm (thankfully no one hurt except maybe the person who drove away with their airbag deployed and one wheel turning like it became an oval). 3 neighbors called the cops, and they just never came. The NYPD is such a fuckin joke lol

I actually had an original thought that I could turn into a post on LinkedIn. Please clap. (It's so hard coming up with shit on that platform, especially when all of what's usually seen is just AI slop anymore 😩)

Hi spooky friends

I keep seeing Rachel Sennot everywhere and couldn't put a finger on who she reminds me of, and I finally just figured it out. It's @imfartybaby.bsky.social. They're both so hot.

I WAS CYBER BULLIED WITHIN AN INCH OF MY LIFE LAST NIGHT

Few things fascinate me more than weird linguistical things about English such as what order adjectives go in, and how native speakers just innately know how they should be organized in a sentence. Why when describing Bag Balm is it the green square tin, and not the square green tin? I DONT KNOW!

lmao

We simply do not talk about the Glasgow Wonka Experience enough

Trying to figure out if we should just cancel our health insurance plan until next year since it's going to go up about $700 just because of the govt shutdown. This country is so idiotic and hateful.

I watched Wicked tonight for the first time and why did no one tell me about the (CGI thankfully) animal abuse? I can't even handle fake animal abuse. Could barely get into it. K anyway I'm gonna go watch a wholesome movie as a palate cleanser, like Midsommar or Hereditary.

Good morning, Manhattan. Good morning, Brooklyn. Good morning, cruise ship where the poop makes people require cisplatin.

There's simply never been a prettier cat.

I would never vote for Curtis Sliwa but "slappin fannies and killin grannies" is, so far, my fav quote from him regarding Cuomo.

These three lil shits are just being so very extra cute tonight. I can't take it.

Sonny would like to remind anyone who this is relevant to that it's recycling night, and he would also like all your packing paper while you're breaking down your boxes.

My commute on the ferry is so cute sometimes. This morning, the most excited foreign tourists are SO PUMPED at 8am to pass the Statue of Liberty shortly after the sun has risen on her. Makes me remember to not take for granted that I got to move to this city that I love so much 💕🗽

Catnip Monday for Tela, Harry and Sonny 💚

My MIL, who gets VERY emotional when people disagree with her but for the last few years has been fueled by Fox News to basically tell us our reality isn't real, just asked my husband, "if that Mamdani guy does govt groceries, will that close all the bodegas?" WHERE DO THEY GET THIS SHIT?

I'm Tanka Jahari, but I would never order a whole pizza for myself.

So violated while I'm trying to eat

I wish I captured his cuteness a little more clearly but you get the point. He's the cutest boy ever. With a perfect freckle on his toe.

Has anyone else seen that video of ICE agents driving a Jeep ram the truck of someone they wanted to arrest? Legitimate question from that - do they get like commission on arrests or something?? Or are they just trying so hard bc they're insane racists?

Disappointed in all of you that no one sent me personally the video of Mitch McConnell falling down over his own damn feet because he's too prideful to use a walker in public.

I don't want to sound rude because I really look up to billionaires but Lauren Sanchez's face looks like the bloated carcass of a dead beluga whale. But like I'm really not trying to be mean or anything.

I'd rather smell 20,000 Bradford Pear trees than one Gingko tree around October. Straight up smells like hot vomit.

Can you imagine being famous and coming across AI images of you crying at the loss of your friend?