tee hee! it's like *demon voice* ₚₐᵢₙₜ ᵢₛ ᵢₙ ₘᵧ ᵦₗₒₒ𝒹

y'all I do NOT understand vests that's like wearing puffy undies and being like yeah my legs are warm enough

LIBRARIAN: we’ll number the books to keep them organized, using only whole numbers DEWEY: fuck that

hav u evr heard of ; TELEFONE ??!! this is hw it work! :

you can't support someone unmasking if you only accept the cute quirky parts

like damn, touch grass. good advice

I love having some cute ass analog time

why is she so perfect 😭😭😭

look how fucking round my cat is I can't I'm dying

bread was invented bc they didnt have to send emails back then

gardening fries DIY orange peel air freshener sachets sunshine

nice timing everyone

🫯 hello🧑‍🩰cheeky 🧥 noobs 🔖

🫪 yes love this new guy 🫪

free ice cream on one side and free pizza on the other :^)

*filling cotton sachets with oatmeal for baths* this is the radical left

me at 24: man it's Friday night, maybe I should be out doing something me at 34: smiling with pure joy at home, playing with her cats

look how I spell zucchini when im high

gaslight anthem indoor gardening riesling indica-dominant hybrid

brian fallon is positively autistic for the word radio

people are all about me advocating for myself until it inconveniences them

emerging with the tiny baby daffodils 🙂

I dooted and won therapy for myself

outlook in bisexual mode 😎

the name guy is so fucking funny to me.... like a baby came out, and someone says eh, looks like a guy

yo wtf is bic....why do they make pens, lighters, and razors???

the pleasure to have in class to not a straightforward psychiatric case pipeline

what's it like reading my rebirth via skeets lmao

capitalism has gaslit me into thinking buying a lemon now and then is a luxury. A FUCKING LEMON. a fruit that is $0.50-1. if I continue on skipping a lemon at the grocery store, even though I really want one for fun beverages? it will make NO tangible difference in my financial situation!!

anyway dw im gonna stfu and go eat arbys in the tub soon

haven't had true time off since childhood. literally 2 decades straight without ever achieving rest, recovery, clarity, alignment. that's absurd & no way to live. but it's the only way to stay alive in this society. that's completely fucked. we've failed humanity so so badly. we are not free.

being constantly financially stressed is traumatic

wtf

sometimes ya just got to fix ya titties at the stoplight

texts you'll receive if you're my gorgeous boyfriend

dextromethorphan goes so hard as a pharmaceutical name

im tellin ya me weed n postits are a dream team

give me whimsy or shut the fuck up

its more of a who-rescued-who situation with daylight

working up the goddamn gumption to pick up two things. total time in the car will be a half hour. jeebus grant me the strength 🙏

beans on the stove 🕺🕺 beans on the stove 💃💃 beans on the stove bee-eans ON the stove BEEEANS to the tune of the intro to sleepyhead

bow to the almighty chickpea

me: I need to take it easy today, I'm sick also me: *starts making falafel from scratch*

losing an hour on International Women’s Day feels right

evil beach boys be like we're the mountain men

last two days I've slept from like midnight to 4am and then again from 9am to 1pm lol this is not cool

bombing and poisoning the land beneath one of the oldest, continuously-inhabited cities on earth, because we’re the good guys

when you realize you lost an hour and didn’t actually sleep in a little bit

i flirt in subtle ways for example you probably didn’t catch that i’m wearing sexy panties under this hazmat suit

I don't wonder whether I'm on a government watch list, I wonder how many I'm on