watching a batman cartoon where batman pinpoints the joker’s abandoned toy factory hideout bc he knows that their specific brand of doll was discontinued years ago. that’s a pretty fucking weird thing to just know, batman

kenan thompson's sleepaway camp. jay mohr presents phantasm. caroline rhea's tales from the crypt presents demon knight. kevin meaney's pumpkinhead. paula poundstone's the house at the edge of the park. jonathan katz's spoorloos. to be clear i would happily watch all of these

guy next to me at nine inch nails the other night barely reacted to any of the songs until they played the one from the new tron movie, and then he went totally fuckin crazy. i think i was standing next to jeff bridges

hearing reports that jimmy kimmel will now have to reimburse all of ben stein’s money

My favorite imdb comment of all time, about Martin Short in Clifford:

not going to get into details but suffice it to say that spencer gifts is not interested in distributing my topical novelty fountain

felt my spirits lift when the big flags mounted to an approaching pickup truck turned out to be mexican flags and not american. i guess now i know how the good germans in 1939 felt when they'd see a big dodge ram flying flags that turned out to be mexican flags

mixed feelings on this but it does make me appreciate how weird it was in the first place that there was real chemistry between a cannibal doing a truman capote voice and the most obviously gay actress of the last half-century

bullet casing with a painstakingly accurate handpainted scale replica of dogs playing poker on it

i guess we’ve been living in a frank miller comic for years now, but i did not expect that “televised simulation of the president starts glitching as it addresses the nation” would be a real thing

i think i'm good on hearing what obama has to say about anything else, for the rest of my life. there are diner placemats with a clearer handle on what it's like for most people to live in this country

it's weird when people on here you don't follow start to blend together in your mind. i just saw a mini-treatise on american imperialism from a guy i was pretty sure was killed by police because he was swinging a katana at them

shooter must have been aiming specifically for his neck i guess, because......how do you miss that giant head

netflix releasing the charlie sheen documentary today is of course a nod to charlie's performance in the 9/11 movie as "guy stuck in elevator." you can watch the doc today and then be primed to watch 9/11 tomorrow. netflix is really taking care of all of us 9/11-heads

wow, nobody mentioned that the girl in the jeffrey epstein birthday cartoon was drawn with no arms. i guess trump is a boxing helena fan

Centrists don’t have their own Mamdani because God has cursed them for their indifference to His will

one strange low-level side effect of america slipping into demented fascism is that no one is really challenging kevin james's late career pivot to becoming a sub-seagal dtv action star

oh cool gavin newsom's posting some ugly AI videos in his ongoing diva war with president bloodclot. meanwhile, i am submitting my driver's license renewal via snail mail bc no one on a state level gives a fuck if the california dmv website is functional

they made five movies and two tv series from the hannibal lecter books and the cowards never even tried to adapt the subplot where he's trying to patent a crucifixion wristwatch with jesus' hands revolving like mickey mouse's

how does he keep landing such huge rock star podcast guests

Congratulations on your engagement!

some patients are going to die, and you have to find a way to accept that - it’s just part of being a really bad chiropractor

couldn't get a pic but i was just driving behind a pest control van that had little themed picture logos to connect with them on the different social media apps. the pic for X was a cockroach, lol

only a few episodes in but i'm really loving alien: earth. i know some people are put off by the redesign to the creature, but i think the fur and pointed ears make this one feel unique. i'm also intrigued by its compulsion to eat cats. can't wait to see what happens next

when the pitt comes back for season 2, do u think they will allow a non-doctor character to express appropriate frustration with dehumanizing healthcare wait times without also making him a violent racist

weapons is a movie about how fuckin stupid it is to drive around in a gigantic jerkoff pickup truck. it won't protect your kid, it'll mark you as recognizable prey, and the only supplies you'll ever haul in it are paint cans, and they're not even the right color

"john, what would you say is the unique perspective you bring to social media?" well, when famous people die i point out the ways they were connected to notorious serial killers. oh and sometimes i complain about a commercial i saw

in an interview with james dobson in his final hours, ted bundy unconvincingly blamed all his crimes on the harmful influence of some pornos he saw once. dobson loved this weaselly evasion - it helped him fight porn, and it sold a lot of videos. maybe he and ted are talking about pornos again now

when a mental health professional is evaluating the severity of your suicidal ideation, instead of asking if you have a plan they should ask, “have you considered going to subway and ordering the doritos footlong nachos”

no opinion on woke cracker barrel, but like 25 years ago i was eating there with my grandpa and he ordered a fried shrimp platter. at one point i looked at his plate and it was empty, and i asked if he was eating the tails. "what the hell do you care," he said

when i think of trent reznor recording the downward spiral, i picture him at a mixing board sitting in front of a big dial labeled "sharon tate's screams" and he's listening on headphones and judiciously turning it up and down

while i was in the pharmacy just now one of the employees was on the phone with someone who was looking for a migraine remedy, and the employee suggested a laxative

msnbc is changing their name to "you're right, your kids are being ridiculous - buttigieg would make a great president." seems wordy to me but i guess it appeals to their demographic

if that guy in washington had thrown a cuban sandwich, that cbp officer would be getting havana syndrome benefits right now

prediction.........by the end of the week ghislaine maxwell will be announced as the new drummer for the foo fighters

ghislaine maxwell cleared to leave prison on work release. yeah, i guess that driving her outside town and making her dig a single grave is a kind of "work release." zero pinocchios

we must A S K T H E S P I R I T S

uh oh, looks like i woke up in my mother jamie lee curtis's body again. i guess i will just go about my day and hope that she did not spend most of last night eating three pints of the yogurt that makes you shit. uh oh, looks like this elevator is stuck between floors

one thing i love about being a food delivery app driver is that they reimburse all your gas and mileage. i mean, if they didn't, this would be an experience so degrading and exploitative that you'd wonder why it's allowed to exist

just watched an interview clip where josh brolin is talking shit about hollow man and paul verhoeven. he says "look, the ONLY REASON i got that job..." and then pauses long enough for you to think, 'is bc you're barbra streisand's stepson,' but then he says it's bc everyone else turned it down

the blob: poop cruise

doordash introducing new feature where you can tip your driver with wisdom and adages instead of money. “TAMARA L. has given you a tip!: ‘A penny saved is a penny earned.’ Tap to send thanks for tip… ->”

the gavin newsom podcast has actually gotten a lot better lately. he introduced a box office game where he and a guest guess the five most popular movies of a random weekend, and then they connect a homeless person's eyelids to a car battery

incredible timing on this promotion

ghislaine maxwell says she saw no wrongdoing, which coincidentally is also what the federal bureau of prisons is going to say about the officers guarding her at some point in the next few weeks

half the emails i get from linkedin are like "hey jsyk we hold back the actual non-scam jobs for our subscribers who pay $20/month," and the other half look like this. very cool

the ny times says that woody allen compared jeffrey epstein's dinner parties to visiting castle dracula, which i don't think is entirely fair. i don't believe dracula would stoop so low as to invite woody allen to a dinner party