Ah, the simple joy of opening up the new issue of The Onion

teardrop Blanche

I so high

gm

my girl so impressionable @katewitko.bsky.social

hindsight, aka ass eyes

sundown+lightsup

someone just had a bath!

down to two bags of Doritos

this is what's playing at our crib right now

3 kitties all looking at me for a picture=success!!

no, Simba!

🌜babies🌛

look at what my dumb ass did in yesterday's wordle

meatloaf parade

I guess this is my life now

A truly delightful collection

felineup

pretty lil poppet

omfg this is fucking hilarious these people are SO high youtu.be/YsX4vEc54GE?...

gettin' ahead of that $2/pack tax that goes into effect Tuesday *BUT we can still buy menthol in Indiana, and they're about half of what you pay in NYC

a little light swimming with @katewitko.bsky.social

poor baby hasn't figured out how to cone

fact.

that's my girl!

sunday.

never gonna be able to get up

Shorty!!!

#balatro #proud

game I ordered, and a delightful review/pic action shot

Is it called "Running Man"?

trash panda training program at school celebrates first success story

the dog ate our Internet

dude is totally on his way to do some crimes against humanity

Oh our ride is here

Every street in Manhattan smells like an 80s rock concert in a *delightful* kind of way

Server at S&P Lunch Counter in NYC loudly said "Shit, I fucked that up" when the line cook gave me pastrami instead of the turkey club I ordered* *this was much funnier in the moment

Staying at the TWA Hotel at JFK. Currently watching runway action and a fruity vodka drink by the pool

lol "lack of congeniality" but commercializing the U.S. Capitol prophecy is Onion-legit

Poppet graduated today!!!

jesus, shorty

hmmmmm

Tulip time at Newfields!

"And now we bring you a Fox News exclusive interview with President Trump ..."

Our baby started school this week!!

James Madison wrote in “Federalist No. 47”: “The accumulation of all powers, legislative, executive, and judiciary in the same hands … may justly be pronounced the very definition of tyranny.”

she was known for her kindness and beauty...and that wicked unibrow

perfect White Lotus pause

Money so they say is the root of all evil today it's sooo good to be high with Pink Floyd

🎁 article