Stay cool.

In Extraction 3, Chris Hemsworth expels all the fog from his bathroom.

Bit worried about my electrician - they were tripping all weekend.

Because he's flammable?

Why are their no dogs and cats on other planets? Who is Donald Trunk?? These brilliant people discuss this and much more, despite it being too hot. Thanks @rialina.com and @alicefraser.bsky.social ♥️👏 pca.st/episode/bec0...

Is it right to have Cookies on a website about Diabetes?

How much money did they make? Hundreds and Thousands... #newsjokes #icecreamjokes www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Why can't we have multi-packs of yogurts that don't include one flavour we hate? (Kiwi fruit - blurrgh!)

Prime Ministers question time: Who are they today?

Conservatives lose control (think you can get some pants for that...)

Writing some gags 👍✍️🎭

Is this true, or... www.bbc.co.uk/news/article... Pony and traps to be banned two Buckinghamshire roads

He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughy boy... www.visitconwy.org.uk/event/unveil...

Uninsured driving reaches "17yr old - high", which is also a description of most of the offenders. #newsgags www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Scary reading news (not available on YouTube) www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

There's this new journal - which is... @swerytd.bsky.social @andrewhunterm.bsky.social #thenakedweek

Come to my free productivity event. I filmed it in my car as I'm now so productive and have so many sales, I have no time to make videos safely at home. #humour

Meanwhile, on the moon...

Er Hi, my name is Mike and I'm addicted to mini eggs. I've been clean for... the last 25 minutes.

Don't overdo it on news, here's a bite-size show of topical gags. #comedy #news #humor #humour shows.acast.com/your-news-is...

Nice bit of business here: ukdefencejournal.org.uk/britain-to-i...

Monday done and still no sign of the Capybara...

Trump may be in dire straits, he claims he was the original drummer Iran: We are not Hormuz'd

We all wish this wasn't true...

Newsjokes in a podcast? Sure - here you go. #comedy #newsjokes #newspodcast #jokes shows.acast.com/your-news-is...

28 days later, Britain is overrun by giant guinea pigs. It begins... www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Are female Capybaras called Capybarbara? Suggestions welcome. #capybara #comedy

Never could get the hang of Thursdays...

Waiter! Waiter! There's a fly in my matrix! Don't worry Sir, it will just get stuck in the web. #newsjokes #science #comedy Researchers Upload Fly's Brain to Matrix futurism.com/science-ener...

The Strait of Hormuz is perfectly safe...

Iran now faces limited options including posting a scathing review of the Melania film and sending taxis and pizza deliveries at unsociable hours. #comedy #ideas

What do bedbugs fear? (Apart being late, job interviews and the return of home schooling) @thegargle.bsky.social @alicefraser.bsky.social gizmodo.com/scientists-h...

Party on Sarah Conner!

A man from Perthshire has made more than £1m selling fake Scottish tea. Suspicions were raised when Thomas Robinson was asked how he liked his tea, and he replied - ‘minted!’. #jokes #btnrejects #newsjokes #comedy #newsgags

More news vicar? Here's my roundup of weekly news jokes in an easy to use audio format. Enjoy! #comedy #podcasts #newsjokes shows.acast.com/your-news-is...

This one's a gem...

A church yard bench in Essex, celebrating the life of Keith Flint from The Prodigy has caused controversy. Residents questioned the devil-horns used in the design, but a local vicar said there is no need for concern... until the speakers are connected. #theprodigy #btnrejects #breakingthenews

It's Friday. Get a coffee, check the news, scream with despair at humanity and then... listen to #Breakingthenews at 1:30: www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/brand...

The Mandlescripts? No, we've gone one better...

Cape Town doesn't have as many superheroes as I'd expected.

This week in Gun Dog journal: Monday: Woof woof woof! Woof Woof woof.. woof? Woof Woof WOOF!! Woof woof. Woof. Tuesday: You get the idea.

I'm afraid there is no going back now. You mean? It's time? Yes, I'm afraid so. It's Wednesday.

Urgent news from our on the spot reporter, Captain Obvs.

A new episode of my comedy news jokes is available. This one includes Mandleson, Economics, Harps, Burger AI and science updates AND an imaginary sponsor. Enjoy! #comedypodcast #comedy #newsjokes shows.acast.com/your-news-is...

This looks a good job, spread the word... #comedy #gags #jokes #humour #butter #jobs www.standard.co.uk/news/london/...

What type of detergent will they use? - two tabs of 'Finish'? #dadjokes #newsgags #deathjokes www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

What I WANT is a goddarn cup of tea M#th*rf**ker!!!... Oh, and one of your scones. Lovely weather. #tarantino #newsjokes #comedy #humour #gags #funny

Richard Osman, the presenter of ‘Richard Osman’s House of Games’ announced he is leaving the show after nine years. Fans of the show have asked the BBC if they plan to make the show shorter? A spokesperson said ‘No - just the presenter.' #jokes #humour #btnrejects #houseofgames #dadjokes #osman

A Scottish Harp making school will benefit from a £24,000 grant to purchase new materials and tools. A spokesperson said the application was down to the Head of the school, apparently he’s one clever plucker. #BTNrejects #breakingthenews #humour #jokes #comedy #dadjokes #stobo #harps

Tune in tomorrow for weekly mirth. (And good luck to everyone writing funnies for BTN this week.) #BTN #writingcommunity www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/brand...