I got a new tablet with a pen so I can now write notes all over your 30 min sitcom script for a very reasonable £45. And my website is back up: dansweryt.com

You can enjoy this week's episode of #TheSkewer here and it even includes a little alien courtesy of us. (Us being @stucooper1.bsky.social @swerytd.bsky.social and me) www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

Where there's smoke, there's also a man threatening to sue you if you point out the fire...

Want some hints about #comedywriting for open door shows like #BreakingTheNews and #TheSkewer? Here's me banging on about it with @britishcomedy.bsky.social www.comedy.co.uk/pro/features...

Stuff on #TheSkewer again for us this week!

Had a dream last night where I was bitten by a bat. And then I BECAME..(!) ... convinced I had rabies and wanted to seek urgent medical attention. Which shows the high esteem in which I regard myself.

I know it's ITV but still must be some sort of record for on screen spelling mistakes

Very slow off the mark this week but you can enjoy the latest episode of #BreakingTheNews here. (And contains stuff by us - @swerytd.bsky.social @stucooper1.bsky.social and me!) www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

[WATCHING DAVID ATTENBOROUGH'S 'PARENTHOOD'. A ROADRUNNER COMES ON SCREEN] ME: (EXCITED) Look! An *actual* Roadrunner! KIDS: WTF is a 'roadrunner'?! #LifeWithA6YearOld #LifeWithA13YearOld

Nominative determinism

First time for @swerytd.bsky.social @sjmawhinney.bsky.social and I writing for Dead Ringers: www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

Very pleased to say we've* finally broken our Dead Ringers duck with a couple of things in tonight's episode. You can listen to it here: www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/... (* we being @swerytd.bsky.social @stucooper1.bsky.social and me)

Tom Mason did me the honour of interviewing me for one of his myriad YouTube channels! www.youtube.com/watch?v=1V-s...

If you missed it yesterday here's this week's #BreakingTheNews Even includes some stuff by us. ( @swerytd.bsky.social @stucooper1.bsky.social and me) www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m...

Pleased to kick off the new series of #BreakingTheNews with a credit. You can enjoy our stuff, and the whole show, here: (with @stucooper1.bsky.social and @swerytd.bsky.social ) www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

B(TN) inspired! www.comedy.co.uk/pro/features... #BreakingTheNews #SomethingIWrote

The Reject Pile returns, joined by Ellie Hayward and @swerytd.bsky.social who discuss material submitted to BBC Radio Scotland's Breaking the News and their training course designed to help aspiring writers gain their first professional writing credit on the show. Listen at linktr.ee/RejectPilePod

We (@elliehay and I) were lucky enough to be invited on to the @RejectPilePod to discuss how you write for #BreakingTheNews. And hopefully it helps! Thanks @thatlukeedwards.bsky.social!

The final #TheSkewer of the series and as you might expect it ends on a heartbreaking high. You can also enjoy Francis Urquhart putting the boot into Gary Lineker from us. ( @stucooper1.bsky.social @swerytd.bsky.social and me) www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

This game is not what you'd expect from the two worsest, unrelegated teams in the Premier League. It's much worse than that. #EuropaLeagueFinal #TOTMUN

If you missed this week's #TheSkewer here it is on BBC Sounds. And it even includes a couple of bits from us having a go at Keir, which he probably deserves. (us being @stucooper1.bsky.social @swerytd.bsky.social and me) www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

100th #TheSkewer thing for us on this week's show!

Want some help with your #BreakingTheNews submissions?

Woh! Bradford City with a late 96th minute winner, the difference between automatic promotion and the playoffs! Poor Walsall, who won their game, miss out. Match was stopped with a fan invasion, and players left the field but the game eventually finished. Congratulations Bradford City! #aew

Catch up on last night's #TheSkewer here and you can enjoy the Cardinals going All or Nothing for the new pope and escaping the Matrix at the local elections from us. ( @stucooper1.bsky.social @swerytd.bsky.social and me) www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

You can catch up with this week's #TheSkewer here and it even includes some stuff by us. ( @swerytd.bsky.social @stucooper1.bsky.social and me) www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

So here it is, the last #BreakingTheNews of the current series. Enjoy it one last time before the break and you can even hear a few gags by us in there. ( @swerytd.bsky.social @stucooper1.bsky.social and me) www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

Missed #TheSkewer last night? You can catch it again here and listen to our very clever setting of the US-China trade war as Godzilla vs Kong. Oh okay, you're right, we just liked the big silly noises. (We being @stucooper1.bsky.social @swerytd.bsky.social and me.) www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

In Trivial Pursuit category news (S&L), there have been 2 big records this week. Ovechkin has broken Gretsky's goals record and we've hit 500 BTN gags broadcast. Basically the same. www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

Well we're barely in double figures for #TheNakedWeek but you can check out the last episode in the series here, featuring some stuff by us. (If Radio 4 would like to commission another 28 series of #TheNakedWeek to help us get to the 500 we won't complain) www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

We also got our 501st gag broadcast too but who's counting.

"But we would write 500 jokes and we would write 500 more." Thrilled to say we got our 500th gag broadcast on today's #BreakingTheNews so a little gif for @stucooper1.bsky.social @swerytd.bsky.social and myself.

If you've got the "headroom", @swerytd.bsky.social @sjmawhinney.bsky.social and I have written some of The Naked Week, including what may be the worst insult of Paddington in history www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

Breaking the News: www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/... The Naked Week: www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/... (We being @stucooper1.bsky.social @swerytd.bsky.social and me)

Looking for that perfect last minute Mother's Day gift? Well as you know all mothers love topical comedy so you could give them the chance to listen to this week's #BreakingTheNews and #TheNakedWeek in bed. And, even better, both feature stuff by us. The Naked Week: www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

It's Friday night decision time! Two shows and we have stuff in both so which are you going to listen to first? Wait what do you mean you'd rather watch the football? #BreakingTheNews: www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/... #TheNakedWeek: www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

(The correct answer is of course both as they're both excellent even if we do say so ourselves!) And us being @stucooper1.bsky.social @swerytd.bsky.social and myself.

Another Friday, another decision time. Which of these topical shows are you going to listen to as they both feature stuff by us: #BreakingTheNews bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/... #TheNakedWeek bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

Ha!

Doesn't fuck about. Just opens with 'Is President Trump a Russian asset?' youtu.be/qcD6Rru_tPE?...

Okay decision time Which of the shows we've* written for today would you like to listen to first? For Radio 4's #TheNakedWeek click here www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/... For Radio Scotland's #BreakingTheNews click here www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/... * @swerytd.bsky.social @stucooper1.bsky.social & me

Heard a swear word whilst kid watching YouTube on Amazon Kids Kindle. Took it away! Tried to setup YouTube Kids on Amazon Kids Kindle -> Kid heard MUCH worse swearing from Dad trying to set up fucking impossible-to-set-up fucking YouTube Kids on fucking Amazon Kids bloody, fucking twat Kindle.

Schrodinger's Dog wouldn't have caused as much fuss as his cat, would he? Just would've been alive or dead. No pissing about.

Immediate vote in, I think!

I thought the chlorine was supposed to save the American chickens? Or have I misunderstood?

Was this scheduled to be on? Or are BBC2 doing a supreme trolling job on America?

“I thought for many years that in my lifetime I would see America become a rogue state and that’s happened” Podcaster Gabriel Gatehouse expresses his shock after Presidents Trump and Zelensky's historic White House meeting, adding "this is a mafia shakedown". #Newsnight

Says it all.