three billion devices run TikTok

free as in paid

GUYS IT HAPPENED, IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED

c'mon can they hand over tiktok to me already, i'm clearly a responsible company owner

RAAAAH WE'LL TEACH EM KIDS ABOUT JVM ARGS

ave u got a loicense for those tic tocs there mate

WOOO TIKTOK IS OURS!!! WERE TURNING IT INTO A JAVA MONOLITH

this java codebase is sent by the universe to ruin my day

scrum master when scrum mistress walks through the door,,,,

hatsune miku as a service

mmmfhfn big data,,,

getting sued must feel so good for the defendant

what's a TikTok

did you know: most developers stop migrating their databases to a new schema one iteration before getting it right

wrong account mb

Portal Tuah test on that Thang

as the owner of the trademark, we are pleased to announce we're adding licensing fees to JavaScript

lol rip bozo

3 billion devices, but still no bitches 😔

mind you, Larry Ellison is a fucking demon, and I've never met a single Oracle product that I've ever liked.

more money to make software that's somehow even worse, thank you AI bubble

Looking at Oracle's stock price today should be all you need to know that the securities market is a massive grift. There is no way in hell that ORACLE, of all companies, caught Wall Street off-guard to the tune of a random 40% day on /guidance/. That's not just insane, it's impossible.

lol dad just got richer

I fucking hate Oracle and I wish nothing but the worst for Larry Ellison.

got em

vSphere? more like shit-smear

uwu~

you better report your licensing or we're sending our goons from @deloittedigi.bsky.social to make your life hell! >:3c

NTP is old at this point, we built a brand new time-keeping system called Synchro™ it uses LLM to ask all your infrastructure what time they think it is, then averages it all together. Synchro™ ensures smooth operation and lights on across your whole application landscape

license audit time :3

true database durability has never been tried

orkel

i like tax fraud #promosky

sorry for digging through your trash @microsoft.com :(

What is Oracle and how is it killing us?

kinda jelly of @cisco.com controversy section on wikipedia, wish ours was that impressive

c'mon can they hand over tiktok to me already, i'm clearly a responsible company owner

don't dare brand your project with javascript, that's MY trademark you fuckers

our products are painful so you realize that everything else going on isn't so bad

is this reality too much to ask for? <3

hah ha "ERP" system he he

all my homies hate SAP

free as in paid

remember to do your license audits!

please don't use our JRE 8 builds for the development, design, manufacture or production of nuclear, chemical or biological weapons of mass destruction. thank you

hey @microsoft.com my mom said we could break anti-trust laws together if it was okay with your mom.

felt cute, might sue you into oblivion later~