I'm going to start judging people that continue to buy Magic and D&D stuff after this. I mean, I should have stopped years ago myself.

You know, it's that very common phrase that everyone knows, "four strikes you're out for three days, eight strikes you're out for seven days, sixteen strikes you're permabanned... at the old ball game!"

Despite all my rage, I still hide my junk behind Cage.

What if JD Vance just didn't talk anymore?

I don't think I'm in enough Discord servers, honestly. What's the average? I've only got nine, and two of those are mine.

If you told me this wasn't from a TV show/movie and a guy looks like this in real life, I wouldn't believe you until now.

Shakira, her hips truthful

Took three years on this site, but I finally made someone big mad.

Honestly? I'm still really annoyed that 72 Seasons didn't have an Un4given track. No, this isn't a bit.

Fuck you, this is actually really clever.

This morning I had to explain to my 5yo daughter when she asked why BotW Zelda doesn't wear a princess dress but Smash Zelda does, that they aren't the same Zelda & each Zelda/Link are a different Zelda/Link. She was like "...what?" and my wife goes "Yeah? What?" Wait until I get to the timeline.

I think being single until I was like 30, a few years into my career, starting to get my shit together, and dating a 35 year old and seeing how awesome it was to be with someone who had THEIR shit together already really helped. Relationships should be illegal until you are, like, 32.

Constantly having to bite my tongue on here whenever someone posts their little web projects and it’s clearly Claude based on the design aesthetic.

Sam Raimi's Sophie's Choice

Jordan Peterson didn't always sleep on a mattress on the floor. He got rid of his bed frame because the posts were too modern. *Skeletor run*

I found out through binging Taskmaster, and was like "this explains a lot actually."

"Has become?!" No offense, Australia. You're sexy as fuck. But did the 1990s JUST arrive at your doorstep?

"Make it Make Sense" I can't. Not to you. You are dipshits with dipshit brains. Not your fault. Your folks didn't want to tell you you're a dipshit. Especially not when they were getting you dressed to record whatever this is. But yeah, *nothing* makes sense when you're a fucking dipshit.

🎵Whoa-a... Becky let your bowl cool down. 🎵

🎵Whoa-a... Becky let your bowl cool down. 🎵

Damn, I've really been sleeping on how good Corrosion of Conformity is.

THAT'S RIGHT, MOTHERFUCKERS, I WON A WEBBY AWARD. Here's my 5-word speech. #webbys

It’s not a death threat if it’s their alt.

*to Papa Roach - Last Resort* Fill my body up with organs I'm never going to die

Not huge on Sorkin-quoting but this really fits the "If liberals are so fucking smart, then why do they lose so goddamn always?" bill.

Hey, chat. Thinking about visiting Ireland. What should I do while I'm there?

I'm neither a chaser or transgender so it's not my place to do a quote reply... but if someone can make it rhyme with "Londo Mollari" for me, that would be great. Thanks!

Cool story. My position is pretty simple, too. This kind of shit doesn't generally happen to people who show and act in good faith.

If one of these shows doesn't include a Flux Capacitor what the fuck are we even doing?

*to Papa Roach - Last Resort* Fill my body up with organs I'm never going to die

Is it in 3d printer filament yet so I can stop feeling guilty about this hobby!?

slightly increase a band Next Door Down

Happy Mother's Day to Bryan Johnson's Wife's Immaculate Vagina Biome

Yeah, I already knew conservatives were idiots. But thanks for the reminder, I guess.

Paying the futa tax to the tax man for more futa.

It's still really weird that they cast Tom Hardy as the lead in the movie version.

If you got a lot of quote skeets, it was called a bluekake.

Why's he pointing there?!

I've said this before about this post, but I REALLY can't stress enough about how much leaders in the tech space are functionally illiterate by pretty much every definition of the word. Everything you need to know about them is summed up by the sentence: "The book is there to serve me."

Shakira, her hips truthful

There should be a social media where I, and I alone, can advocate for violence and I don't have to be the President.

It is just me or are Amazon Echo Shows ONLY showing FOX News headlines now? And yeah, I know, I got it like 5 years ago. I was in a different place. Leave me alone.

Babe, wake up! Pretty Little Hate Machine was re-issued!

Everybody Hates Aaron