i'll be on the streets tmrw. it's snowing outside. my ESA dog & only family died a few days ago. i can't live in a car sans title (takes at least 8 wks to arrive). i have no delusions that i'll be able to raise enough to pay for an indoor stay thru Dec by 12/5. but if you can help, i'd be thankful.

#AnimalCaucus friends — if everyone could consider chip in a little bit of their cash monies. I know we often ask and you often share but everything counts especially during times of grief and homelessness

Reposting this since it's Sunday and someone might feel the love. Or need a Christmas gift. Thanks, peeps. #kikorangi #handknitting #handspinning 🧶🇳🇿

Remora House needs tents in DC. It’s actually important to move on these requests quickly because of need, supply chain issues, and how manufacturers manipulate prices. Let’s do this for folks without housing in one of the most militarized places in the US.

Not The Onion

#AnimalCaucus #FruityDrinks

Help a #AnimalCaucus friend out

🚨 EMEGENCY🚨 FOSTER needed ASAP ⬇️🦮 2 yr old Pup Famous on DEATH row East Coast Need 🚨 Foster/adopt even if temporary to save his life ➡️Please RE-POST ⬅️ He needs SM exposure to ➡️stay ALive Rescue pays⬇️ to transport to Ur🏠 food/vet expenses NY NJ NH NE ME MD DC DE CT PA VA RI VT

I is shamed

@profanity.accountant judge me like one of your French girls

Hi everybody, It's Black Friday, a big day for us at The Onion, since we rely almost entirely on your memberships. Our goal for 2026? More print subscribers than the Washington Post. This is, somehow, feasible. So sign up! A year of print is $75 for the year today. Help us do a very funny thing.

I’ve had to switch orgs in Teams on a Mac to get to another meeting more than one time resulting in a spiraling loop of login/logout and even then I only wanted to hurt Tim Apple and Bill Gates for the trouble

I remember when being too enthusiastic would ruin your political career

Soli also doubles as a space heater on cold winter nights!

Do you like snuggles? Do you like booping dog noses? Pluto is your dog!

Imagine how soft her ears are, and how much she would love you to rub her belleh

Sosa has been waiting for too long for her hooman. Please go rescue this sweet gurl.

Not to brag or anything but I got a nose #Boop from a 7 year old, so I guess you can say that I'm a really big deal

This is terrible. Why didn't I think of this first?

At first glance I thought this was a robot worshiping the sky

*heavy breathing*

Most ppl can have an HSA _right now_. It's not a replacement for health insurance, it's a pretax way of paying for everything you owe out of pocket because the "insurance" plans suck ass and cover little. He knows this but he wants to crash the market. Rick Scott can fuck off.

Sosa spent her life making sure we are safe, now she needs someone to keep her safe

Rosy needs a friend, is it you?

Ilu Pluto

Lookeee at this bebe

Look at who in your community is putting up food pantries and serving free meals no questions asked. It's certainly not large box corporate restaurants and retail establishments, but mom and pop restaurants, locally owned coffee shops, etc… 1/2

St. George, MAINE 11.10.2025 Everyone is being asked to turnout for this hearing Let’s support #transkids on and off the field. These hearings are tough on our communities so we need allies to have our backs AND to BE AT THE MIC for three minutes Shared with permission. Please share. #mepolitics

I also tried to get a meeting with New York City Mayor-elect Mamdani and--outrageously--because I don't live in NYC I'm also hearing crickets. I tried explaining that I visited NYC once and ate a hot dog so that made me super duper important, but his staff didn't care.

what? no, that's wild

If the sandwich doesn't split, you must acquit.

hey bskies, this fluffer is spamming accounts, block and report mmmkay?

Couldn't happen to a worser person (except one)

Me seeing the news this morning: alllllllmost, darn! Oh well, it’s getting closer!

😍

Pull a Mike Johnson and not know anything about it

Why didn’t anyone warn me about A Star is Born? (Yes I’m behind the times)

Hmmm 🤨

Humans are a parasite

Best Western has over 1,200 pet friendly hotels so you can take your dog with you wherever you're headed. They have been such a valuable partner to our rescue community. Sign up for Best Western rewards below to be pupgraded to gold elite status #ad www.bestwestern.com/content/best...

Just heard an ICE ad on Pandora so now I'm deleting it from my phone

I'm shaking almost too hard to type. I entered SLC airport and heard screams and cries for help. I could see people gathered around, watching. I sped over to discover this woman face down on the floor, four grown men pushing her down, while she cried "HELP ME" and pled for her child.

democrats of all stripes should be rallying around kat abughazaleh asap. it doesnt matter where you stand ideologically. trying to jail dissenters is fundamentally unamerican and 100% fascist. democratic leaders at all levels should be making noise about it. you dont need a poll or focus group.

Please understand that in 2025 escaped apocalyptic monkeys would be the least of our worries. Let us have something nice this year.

Please help us support our friends. Even a share helps! 🐾🐾🩷

Has anyone confirmed whether or not #MikeJohnsonCantRead?

I just finished dog sitting two (very sweet and cute) wild beasts that terrorized my chickens, spread dirt and mayhem all over everything, so now me and the pups are sleeping it off like a hangover