I think it is very funny how google photos doesn't have an option for deleting a backed up photo from google's servers but keeping it on your device

does anybody want to claw out my eyes then drown me to death

Why so photogenic? What is he posing for?

googling "portuguese men"

Learned about a new furry fetish today: pushing into one's abdomen with something like a pole or a fist, like really pushing hard so it caves in

I am like those bi women who are like "i am attracted to all women but only one man in a million" but I'm like "i am attracted to all furries but only one human in a million"

guys let's analyze and agonize the last forty things I said

i feel daddy as fuck

Very obviously rolling up my sleeves at work so I can show off my arms

do you guys even know what i'm referencing? this is very important

broccoli and cauliflower are so good, 8 year olds don't know shit

would you guys still love me if i was an ontological parasite

this is the world bro (i made it for you btw)

let me eat this nasty salad and serve stache

do you guys promise me that when I die you will train an LLM on all my posts and then deploy 5 trillion gppbots to wreak havoc on the decaying corpse of the internet?

I love Jesus!

Several people on this app are grating and obnoxious. That is all I am going to say

FUCK i just finished two incredibly difficult tasks at work after two whole weeks of trying and i am exhausted. I thought both would be easy at first but little inconveniences just kept popping up and the end just kept moving away as soon as I got close, it felt so hopeless

they are so hot. i want to have their kids (their goat babies)

i feel like i've lost some muscle because i have been slacking off at the gym. i am a failure

(please pretend that my cat was orange) there is a hecking CHEETO in the house!!

Hmm i kinda hate it lol. I think I shaved too much, but I don't want to shave it all off because that would be admitting defeat at the hands of Big Shave

"wow so WOMEN are not even allowed to DISCUSS A TOPIC anymore??"

ugh i'm such a whore for automatic doors

i just realized that stack exchange is a pun on stock exchange. 12 years late. am i stupid

would you guys still love me if i was agentic

today i learned that these are the same person. what

Empty your balls with an AI Slut Generate your AI Trash Whore. Virtual fuck, AI sex chat

does anybody want to smell my underwear

i still think they should allow these if they are funny enough

guys remember when it was revealed that the president of the united states was a pedophile and then nothing else happened lol what was up with that

just ate a mango that was actually good. this was my first successful attempt after 6 previous ones

I fucking love it when performing a read-only operation affects the outcome of a subsequent read-only operation. how the fuck am i supposed to debug this bro

for @rehtonadabnup on twitter!

Gboard does this thing where if you have multiple keyboards you can cycle between them by pressing a button, so it'll switch eg between keyboards A-B-C-D-A, but the moment you type something on say C, it brings it to the front of the list resetting the order, so C-A-B-D-C, and messing everything up!

Excellent opening to a book

do you guys think i am a slovenly wretch

I looked in my crystal ball, asked the mirror on the wall, evil men will always fall...

lol she got his ass and he knows it

All of republican governance in our lifetime has now devolved to angry white men incoherently screeching—in the halls of power and online alike—that nothing is working and they demand democrats put it back together in the exact way that republicans want or else they’ll start killing more people

Starting to think that the reason I don't like a lot of my mom's cooking is that she leaves ingredients that should be refrigerated out on the counter for 24 hours before cooking them. It can't be ok to leave ground beef outside the fridge for that long

will you guys be mad at me if i do the same one i did last time, the one that was universally hated, i want to see how it will look with longer hair

guys what style should i shave my facial hair into this time. there really aren't a lot that don't look terrible

it's so funny when we're having a company wide meeting at work (like 300 participants, but only one or two people are presenting) and some random person is in the chat like "sorry everyone i have another meeting scheduled, will have to leave early". no one knows you dude. we wouldnt care if you died

If you’re wondering what a “least weasel” is, they absolutely live up to the name. This is the least amount of animal you can have that can still meet the bar for “is weasel”

It's really lame that I can't just turn on "no friendly fire" and have a pet dog and cat and rat and ferret and tegu and snake and they all cuddle together and are friends and don't commit vore

watching an anime with a hot cat protagonist. i can fix him, and i want his cat babies

this is the 4th time i've ripped the cuticle off my nails from moving the weights around at the gym. it hurts and i'm stupid