It’s always “I’m here if you ever need to talk” until I’m explaining the rankings of my top ten favorite bears. And then it’s “that’s not what I meant” and “I think you should find a therapist better suited to your needs.”

I think half of my role as a musician is to bully people into paying attention to me.

I am going to hashtag the fk out of this bitch I’m sorry but none of my followers watch my vids so perhaps the hashtag friends will. If not I’m simply cooked on this app and I will accept my demise with grace #rant #musicindustry #singersongwriter #newmusic

“you think too much.” you’re so right. will you lobotomize me.

Writing songs about workers being used and exploited by major corporations because, well…*gestures around wildly*

I personally think hospitals should separate the maternity ultrasound area from all other ultrasounds because me crying in a room full of balloons and baby decor while waiting to see if I have cancer seemed to really harsh vibe

for anyone who has had a cancer scare, how did you cope while you were waiting for testing/results?

a product will have a million good reviews and I’ll still read those 1 stars like they are god’s final judgement. I don’t care if 50,000 people think these sheets are great. kathy says they wrinkle.

I didn’t fully commit to this and I’m sorry but now is the time I promise

Singing Billie holiday is truly a test of patience because how did that woman sing this slowly so flawlessly

yeah ok fine I might be having an existential crisis but in my defense this current state of existence is like very much a crisis

Singing Billie holiday is truly a test of patience because how did that woman sing this slowly so flawlessly

I’ve been thinking about it deeply and I think I’m ready to be unhinged online again

Bath time

It’s almost funny that there are Americans who believe the U.S. has naming rights to international waters because a sentient orange ballsack made a decree like a child emperor. And then the CEO of Google just fell to his knees, whimpering, “y— yes sire. I’ll change the maps.”

fell down the stairs today. why is it called a flight of stairs if gravity is fighting against me. a cruel joke. I was born to step step step and yet I am in my thunk thunk thunk era.

My boss really knows how to start an email

If I was an Uber driver I would just lie. I would become a pathological liar. Tell the most unhinged stories about myself and my life. I used to run an alpaca farm. My mom got me 42 goldfish and they all died within 3 days so now I have attachment issues.

My brother’s boyfriend had his younger cousins visiting him in NYC and one of the things they requested to do was go see where Luigi shot the United Healthcare CEO. It was on their list right in between the Statue of Liberty and The Empire State Building.

I don’t enjoy working a corporate job but I have to admit that whenever I lead a call and someone messages me after saying, “great job leading that meeting.” I’m like, thank you for the crumb that sustains me as I starve. thank you for being my candle in the darkness.

Seeing people ask reddit for advice about cats vs. dogs is hilarious bc I’ll see “how to get my dog to stop barking” and they’ll get a 15 step process to correct the behavior. Then I’ll see “how can I get my cat to stop eating my headphones,” and everyone is like “no. you can’t.”

Confession time: I never realized that when a person deactivated their twitter account that their likes disappear, so there was a period of time I was convinced that people kept unliking my album release announcement

broke: fiction author woke: professional liar

My second cousin just posted an IG story for her dad who is in prison saying “free him regardless” and I’m like babe regardless of what??? His guilt??? he cut off his girlfriend’s nipples while she was fully conscious, I think he’s right where he supposed to be.

Nothing makes me feel better than my uber driver talking shit about their other passengers to me. Our uber driver just said, “You can’t trust any people. I’m not talking about you guys.” Like yes, thank you. I am better than everyone else.

My Mom signed us up for an Apple family plan which means all of my family’s devices are on the “find my” app. Every once and awhile I like to hit the “play sound” button so their phone or apple watch beeps somewhere in the house.

I would like to be on a boat again instead of sitting on my hands in bed bc my house is so cold

Decided to write a song about falling in love as if it was a place to find and not a feeling to chase ♥️ #originalmusic #singersongwriter #acoustic

Hey everyone! Fellow Blueskyer @slizagna.bsky.social has an album that I urge everyone to listen to. “Table For One, Party Of Two” Gawd what a voice, very reminiscent of Serena Ryder in my opinion. Check her out on Spotify.

Decided to write a song about falling in love as if it was a place to find and not a feeling to chase ♥️ #originalmusic #singersongwriter #acoustic

Hadn’t checked tiktok in like weeks and went and saw that this vid had almost 5K views and that is my most viewed video ever so I am feeling a tad giddy.

Looks like I made another list

Not sure how bluesky feels about music videos yet but this is something off my next EP🖤

“Would you like to discard this draft?” thats probably for the best

“I can wrap a present with 3 pieces of tape” yeah well I can rap the entirety of baby got back by sir mix-a-lot. a skill that is also useless but I am eager to brag about

I hope one day I will think that waking up to birds chirping is beautiful and peaceful, instead of super annoying.

Me if spreading Christmas cheer by singing loud for all to hear was illegal

First time spending Christmas without my family and I am not thriving

Idk why as I’m writing my romance novel I keep worrying about my characters falling in love too unrealistically quick when my husband told me he loved me after 3 weeks

I like to run from my emotions by filling my time with crafts. I was at my parents for the holidays and crocheted this sweater in 3 days. I’ve never made a sweater before I just pushed through my demons by sheer force of will.

prepping for the holidays by wandering off into the woods and letting out a 30 minute primal scream

I hate being an “I can do it myself” girlie bc why am I watching YouTube videos on how to demolish a wall and extend a room so I don’t have to call a contractor

Not sure how bluesky feels about music videos yet but this is something off my next EP🖤

I’ve been working with a writing professor on my first novel and he just texted me asking me about my next draft because he’s been thinking about the story for months and wants to know how it ends, and I’m like um yes I have you HOOKED. U are at my mercy, I am an ~author~

Y’all have got to be playing with me now bc who made this

[ominously] now the jingle hop has begun

telling the Benihana chef he's made a powerful enemy today but it's drowned out by laughter as he flicks a 7th shrimp into my shirt pocket

I have a vision for my next album cover but we shall see if I can actually execute…Given I shot my last album cover myself I am cautiously optimistic.