So other than that Frau Göring, how were the fits?

"but if you fuck one goat..."

Woke early to the majestic sight of the native trampolines heading south for the winter

Probably should change the Mog avatar

I'm here to laugh, love, fuck and drink liquor, And help the damn revolution come quicker

Woke or Fascist? We would be very, very *very* surprised if anyone can get full marks in this... have a go in the comments below

Fair dos, got home fine. You win this one Avanti

The next few hours of my life are in the hands of Avanti. Always a stressful prospect

What's the stupidest thing you ever got in trouble for? I have... a few, some of which I've detailed here before. But you might not have heard about the time the Daily Mail did a bullet-point scare job on me in 2016, because I tricked Selfridges staff into printing rude words on some Nutella jars.

Thanks FullFact!

Getting the train to Glasgow, fingers-crossed

Full of cold, blergh